The best gaper quotes

I did a broken grind on a flat box and these racers were laughing because they thought i had fallen. And then after a lot of talking and trying to get the balls to try this this 15 foot long 2 foor wide box the kid who laughed goes up tot eh box dosnt make the gape and his skis get stuck between the wood and plexi glass. He worked for like 5 minutes to get them out. I had to wait because my friend wanted to hit the box put the racer was struggling to pull his skis out.
 
I got onto a lift with a gaper.

Gaper: I see you have double sided skis

Me: Yeah they are called twintips

Gaper: Oh ok for freestyle and all that

Me:Yeah Maybe u should get some

Gaper: well we didn't have freestyle skiing back when I was your age.... they had this ballerina dance stuff though. It was too for me.

 


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Ok. so yesterday, me and my bud are waiting in the lift line. people in front of us go. we slide up to the line. i look behind me for the chair, AND THERES A FUCKING WOMAN ON THE CHAIR BEHIND ME. shes falling over. one leg is halfway across the chair. i lean over, cuz i dont know what to do. sit down next to her, but our legs are all tangled up. i practically fell off the chair disentangling ourselves. but basically somehow she slid in between the chair and us, and jumped on. fucking gapers
 
Gaper: what are those stick things you guys holdMe:..........polesGaper: yea thats it
Gaper: (while riding the chair with me) why is the chairlift stopped, this is taking forever.Me: ( We were stopped around a lift tower that happened to have a tiny windmill on top, I point to the windmill) Yea the mountain runs their chairs on wind energy, they start up again soon.Gaper: Well that sure is green of them.Me: Oh ya its great
 
i had a gaper not no i was gettin on the same chair as him and as we were about to sit down he just kept on scooting towards me. he had his music goin so he couldnt hear me yellin at him and he was looking the otherway so he couldnt see me. and his fat ass just kept scootin towards me until bumped into me and lost his balance and the chair sorta got pinned on top of him. it was aweseom cuz the lifty had to come get his skis off and pull him out from under the chair
 
Him: My son used to ski in the trick park, he could do really good helicopters on his skiblades, but they would always pop off when he landed
Me: Did he try setting his DIN higher?
Him: What's DIN?

 
did your boy friend buy you that dress

wait- whats your number

sam p aka queer police quotes cause hes a fag
 
HAHAHAHAHAHA

+K for sure

I had one lift ride with a patroller Gaper

I was asking him about being a patroller (because i want to get paid to ski), and I asked him about patrollers in the park

Gaper Patrol: We don't really ski in the park.

Me: I guess the park is more centered on the younger crowd.

Patrol: It's not that, it's just that we have to be good skiers to help people if they get hurt.

Me: *iPod now at full volume*

Then, the total opposite next lift ride. TOTAL NON-GAPER! super old dude, had to be 70 years old riding '05 PE's. He was talking about doing park and stuff, i kinda just nodded to everything. Then he gets off the lift and i follow him to the massive park. He stands at the top adjusting shit and i go ahead and hit the first flat rail and smallest of 2 (choice booter). I kinda squirreled my 540 and was brushing some snow out of my glove when this 70 year old steezer boosts the bigger(35 feet approx.) of the two jumps and throws the illest 360. needless to say i was super impressed.
 
4 person chair. Brings the bar down. for some reason gaper lady decides she needs to put her legs between the knob of the bar that rest on the seat.. giving me no room
 
homeless guy to me on TRAX friday as i made my way up to ogden with my skis-

"is there anything better in skiing than going downhill so fast the wind stops you and you can't move anymore?"
 
haha that would be fucking gold to see... must be stuck in a 90's time warp. But, I would still wanna be his friend.
 
i have last years big troubles with the old school graphics and on multiple occasions ive had gapers tell me that they had the same skis "back in their day"
 
i do daffys and eagles while yelling FULL TILTS.

and i found a few pieces of plastic in the parking lot, and one of them had RAICHLE printed on it.

it was pretty cool.
 
i was hitting a jump and did a mute later this kid walked up to mekid: dude did you backflip that jumpme: nokid: are you sure that looked like a backflipme: ya i cant backflipkid: oh well i guess its just the way you pulled you knees upme: oh thanks i guesskid: if that wasnt a backflip it was definatly the sickest straight air ive ever seen
 
Yesterday at my mountain, there was basically nobody there beside this church group (it was midweek, and the mountain was covered in pea soup fog), I was about to head down to the park, and I overheard this:

"Wow! it totally just drops off! this mountain is just like the video games!"

I rode by switch and scared them.

Also, earlier in the day... 2 kids on snowblades ride up to me (seeing my Gore jacket) and ask

"wheres the trick park?"

me being a nice guy, I offer to show them, since I'm going there anyway. ( I should've told them to go down the side of the mountain that was closed) So after I watch them fail in the beginner park, I'm standing at the top of our "bigger" park and the kid goes

"Do you have any bigger jumps? I couldnt hit those good enough because they're too small." (after roling over all 3 of them) Good thing the other park was closed because of the fog.

Also overheard:

"Oh man that jump sucked!"

after going off the side to a rail takeoff.

We should really have a no snowblades rule.
 
this is a convo between my snowboard freind who isnt exactly a gaper and my other freind "lineskiaddict"
snowboarder: so are you getting new skislineskiaddict: yea line invaderssnowboarder:are they paraboliclineskiaddict: whats that
its up for argument who the real gaper here is
 
general talk about how our days are going on the lift...

me: Oh yeah that's cool, I'm doing my avalanche course here today

gaper: Oh so those are avalanche skis?
 
Naw bud, every hill has a mogul barn that they keep them in during the off season. Now everybody knows that.

But I got a quote too: We were digging out our car at lake level one morning, stoked for an epic Squaw powder day. Its still dumping out, and you can hear them blasting in the distance, and this chick in our group asks, "Is that thunder??" I almost died laughing
 
After doing a rodeo....

I got 2 straight minutes of flatery from this 40 year old Gaper I'll call Joey....then...

Gaper: "Wow dude that was narsty... let me guess... go big or go home?"

Me: "I'm so not interested in this conversation man." Then I skied away
 
i normally dont do/say anything... we were all gapers at one point...

but when a group cuts me off, and hits me with a snowball while on their snowblades in the park... then i just punched the kiid in the back of the head
 
ok ya it does make me sound like a douche... i didn't type the whole story... I can take a compliment, it was nice of him, and i thanked him. But when I'm trying to session and the guy kept following me (i'm not even that good i don't think) and i have other people telling me he gets "attached"... and telling me if I don't get rid of him he won't leave (apparently he does it a lot... which is cool.. lol he did come off kinda clingly tho) well- it might sound mean but I just don't feel like dealing with that. Normally if I get props I'm thankful... I just don't wanna be followed by some cheerleader in jeans who thinks I'm god's gift to skiing.
 
ahhhh ok, thats not nearly as bad then. its unfortunate that he was the kind of guy that you have to say something like that to to get him to leave you alone, but whatever.
 
today i was skiing on a catwalk and i jumped and did a 180

Me (did the 1)

Gaper- Aaaaaaaaaaaaah (shreeled like a little 2 year old), i thaught you fell!

me- well oviodsly not

 
kind of a gaper woute but there were 2 idiots next to me arguing their totally wrong "theories" of why fog was there. these guys were in their 20s too. they were also comparing steam to fog

at the end one of the guys was like: "its not even a theory, its common knowledge that sun equals death of fog."
 
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