The best gaper quotes

i love it how some people are so oblivious to the fact that you can actually own a pair of skis. like come on, how fuckin stupid are you.

i honestly love this thread
 
at hood i get asked this almost everyday, ill be on the lift with some gaper and i will have my hellbents on and the gaper will be like why are you skiing on water skis?
 
refferring to my new dumonts:

'is that a burn victim?' (theres simon w/ no face)

and 'why is that guy fly fishing?' (and airbrusher)

the best: 'does that SD stand for super duper?'

i answer 'yes, yes it does' and thats wat i call my skis now... hehe
 
working in the local rental shop, i get this bout 10 times a day-

"where ya'll keep dem sticks at?!" (while proceeding to do the pole push movement)

and they got their own language as well.

skier gaper

terrain park trick park

poles sticks

twin tips trick skis

snowblades "dem real short trick skis"

rails grinds/grinders

cork sev aerial manuever
 
So.... I got on the lift yesterday with a dad and his son, both on snowblades. I have no poles. He starts talking to me about no poles. Yadda yadda....

Dad says: So whats those are like snowblades, but bigger, right?

Me: Yeah, I guess so.

Dad: What are they called?

Me: Salomon guns.

Dad: I guess salomon makes all the weird stuff, right? (He is on the old school salomon snowblades, whatever they're called).

Me: Yeah they do. Its a pretty progressive company.

Dad: So what's the difference between those and regular skis?

Me: These are twintippers.

Dad: Oh, so you can go backwards on them?

Me: Yep.

Dad: Do you?

Me: Yep.

Dad: Yeah, with these things, you can just spin going down the hill. You have to be going pretty fast though. If you try it too slow, you dig in the tails and hit the back of your head. It hurts.

By that point, I felt that I had humored the man and his son enough, and I stopped talking to him.
 
Haha! I work as a freestyle coach at a dry slope in Scotland but yesterday i had to fill in for another instructor and teach an intermediate class and before i could even start the lesson this happened:

Kid1: Wow are those your skis?

Me: Yup!

Kid2: Do you own them?

Me: Uh huh

Kid3: Did you buy them?

Me: Ehmm yeah...

Kid1: You can buy skis???

Me: ......Lets do some skiing!

I love this thread so much! I cant wait to get really old and come out with some diddy comment that'll annoy the kids and then get ripped to shit for it.
 
from sauna at okemo:

Gapers: so do you boys snowboard?

Us: no we ski

Gapers: are you double diamond skiers?

Us: Yeah we do sometimes.

Gapers: so do you go in the snowboard park?

Us: Ya.

Gapers: So do you go in the thing that go wooosh (makes semicircle with hands)

Us: you mean the half pipe?

Gaper 1: I thought skiers weren't allowed in the snowboard park.

Gaper 2: No, skiers are allowed in the snowboard park, but at some places they dont let snowboarders in the ski park.

At this point we decided to leave........i love drunk gapers.
 
i have one a few years back with a weird snowboard gaper type thing.was on the chairlift with this guy rocking a Burton Air board and he said:
gaper: are those twin tippers?
me: yah they are
gaper: why do you need them to have two tips?
me: so i can ski backwards....
gaper: really?! you can do that?!!
me: erm yeah..
gaper: wow! i'm gonna buy a twin tip board one day so i can do tricks and board backwards!
(it gets better)
i shut up at this point cause inside i'm secretly dying with laughter
gaper: hey can you do a backflip??!!
me: -_- turned ipod up to full and pretended not to hear.
this guy was on a snowboard too ffs...
 
My friend and i were in the lift line and two guys behind us starting arguing. Of course this was during mass vacation week up at Loon. One guy i guess kept stepping on the back of the other guys skis and the gaper in the front said, " hey could you lay off my skis" and the guy behind said something back to him and they argued for a bit. But the ending statement was "Don't mess with me man, I'll take you out back and put your head in the snow"
 
i was riding the lift up and this older gaper asked what kind of skis i had and i said line invaders and he was like are they park skis?
and this kid in a vader costume tried to do a box and hit his skis right into the front of the box and fell forward
 
i was on the chair lift and a young gapper was lookin at my skis ( line chronics )

gapper. whoah ur skis are orange

me. yeah u like them

at this point the gapper will not stop looking at my skis

gapper. do those crows help u fly

me. yeah they help me do double backflips ( i cant so no claim0

so i just keep tellin him how havin birds on ur skis help i couldnt stop laughin when i got off
 
me: yo get off the landing!gaper: hey you're really good!me:yo get the FUCK out of the landing you will diegaper scoots over a foot or two and ignores anyone who yells at her
 
i was getting on a lift at mount snow yesterday and this kid had spk's and like all this sick outerwear and stuff and then i saw what he had for skis and he was wearin these really fat snowblades so when we got on the lift i said:me: " wow your snowskates are pretty fat"him: "yeah there for powder but there pretty good for park too"me: (being sarcastic obviously) "nice... powder on snowblades must be pretty awesome. i bet you get a lot of float"him: "whats float?"i proceeded to pull out my phone and pretend to have a fone convo the rest of the lift ride

 
my brother kinda cuts a gaper off and she was goin super slow, she starts goin backwards and shouts, "O now I am in reverse mode!"

another one, kid goes at a box and tells us he is gonna do a butt slide, he sits on the box and slides accross it? it was a FAIL
 
Not really a quote, but a couple of days ago I was in the park and I was going to hit the jump line and there's this snowboard chick at least 100 yards down if front of me hitting the same jump line. I see her go off the first jump and fall on her ass above the knuckle, so I stop and wait for her to move because I can still get enough speed for the jumps from where I am. But she doesn't move. After just standing there for a few minutes, I ski down, thinking she might be hurt:

me: Are you alright?

gaper: Yeah, I'm fine.

me: WELL THEN GET THE HELL OUT OF THE WAY!!!

Seriously, she just fell and decided that the middle of a jump was a good place for a break.
 
hahahahah i was riding up with a random two chicks on friday.

we had like a foot of fresh and she says "theres too much powder"

i turned to her, said THERES NO SUCH THING and put in my headphones
 
riding up the lift yesterday,

(40+ year old GAPER) "There are some pretty cute chicks 2 carts ahead of us"Me: " Laugh, and turn up the volume"
 
My friends girlfriend while watching Get Lucky

"It looks so silly when they go backwards"

"I only like it when they cross their skis"
 
"skiers cant do tricks " after anolizing that for a minute kid goes "since when do they even let skiers into the jumping park.
 
so i have the salomon spk boots the ones that are black one one black and yellow on the other:
gapper:nice bootsme:thanksgapper:so do you have a twin with the other matching boot or something......me:no(very pissed off kinda no)
 
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i seriously hate watching people do this.....

but its damn funny wen they finally get to the bottm "YYYEEEEAAA! i just did a black diamond!"
 
"how many times do your pants fall down?"

"how do your pants stay up?"

"buy pants that fit"

"whats saggg?"

 
i have gotten stuff like that.

i always wear pajamas under my snowpants, so when i am walking around in the lodge, or hiking a rail, sometimes my pants will just drop down to my boots.

it's hard out there for a pimp.
 
Well theres these giant mountains were i live that are like 14,00 feet and thered called the maroon bells and all the time i will get "what time do the maroon bells ring" from a ton o gapers.!
 
i would have to agree with the gayper. i hate when people do this. yea your friends are up there? too bad, you're not up there. if one of them is a single then i dont care but if you're just going up there to be with them, tough luck. there's something called waiting at the top of the hill.
 
i won't cut a line if there are a ton of people in it.

but earlier this week, me and my brother were the only people in the lift line, and he was waiting at the gate, but i had to adjust something, and 5 people just went on right by me. i then went to join my brother at the gate and poled infront of the people that cut me.

i got dirty looks from every single one of them.

 
This gaper at my mountain goes

Gaper: "dude look at that gaper go straight over the slide box"

me: "dude its just a box and your a gaper"

Gaper: "no dude im not a gaper i dont go straight over slide boxes"

The gaper then proceeds to jump of the side of the lip to the box and started flippin out about how big he went
 
Me an my boy were doing 270s onto a little flat low single barrel rail in the mini park

Gaper: "Are you trying to 360 onto that rail?"
 
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