The best gaper quotes

dude, they have only been out this year, what do you expect ahahahah, id be suprised if any of us had ever seen older people with extremes before this year

.. must say, kinda a gaper comment right there..

 
so there is this pic of me on facebook hand dragging a rainbow box and im talking to this guy and hes like MAN U FUCKING SLAY AT RAILS AND SHIT BUT HOW THE HELL DO U GRIND WITH YOUR HANDS!

i only said "dont try it, its hard"

lol i laughed
 
I was making a reference to twintip skis in general and used the k2 Extreme for an example. And yes the k2 extreme came out before the current day model.
 
guy sitting next to me asks: "are those really the inside of your skis"

(i have 07 scratch fs wrs with the burn marks on em)

 
dude cuts me off today in the park, to fucking side jump off the rail

i scream at him "dude you have no business being in the park"

he yells back "we have every much as right as you do"

i just shook my head and rode away. today was a HORRIBLE day for gapers in the park
 
actually this is true to a point, the uprraised tail makes the ski not push as hard through turns, but that's not always a good thing.
 
i got fucking bombarded yesterday at copper

old guy in lift line

"Excuse sir, i think youre about to lose your pants"

"thanks for the update, bud."

on the lift with a snowboarder i thought was legit:

"do you know the speed for those jumps?" (pointing at the mini park line of 5 foot tables)

my favorite ever was at okemo last year, on the chair with my hombre and an old guy with his duaghter:

"you two have a lot of endorsements on your skis, you guys sponsored? so of the two of you, which one is simon dumont and which one is tanner hall?" (it was like a week after the x games)

 
someone who knows that i "ski" commented on this picture.



and was like

Him: "you snowboard too?"

me :"no, twin tips"

him: "oh haha i thought that was you cause the person is tagged with your name, but nice pic"

me: "that is me.. those are skis"

 
I was standing by the lift waiting for my buddies, and this kid points at my skis (Hellbents) and asks, "are those curved to spin faster?"
 
I ripped the heel piece of my bindings off my ski the other day and had to ski down with one ski, holding the other in my hand. A random gaper asked me if I had tore my heel piece out by skiing over a rock...
 
right after getting on the char with my 2 skiing friends this snowboarder wth no goggles starts a conversaton lke ths

him: you guys hit that big shit? and points to the backsie of the mountain where theres almost nothing but groomers)

my friend: uhm not today everythng is pretty much rock hard.

him: yeah i like hitting it anyway.

(a short pause)

him: so you guys like to jump on jumps?

me: yyuupp

him: me too definatly, i have been working on my cliff skills though

me: oh coooollll

him: yeah you guys do tricks?

my friend: mhmmm

him: ssswweeeettttttt

(long pause)

my friend: (talking to me) hey do you know what a scoon is?

me: a sand coon?

the guy: HAHAHAHAHHAA holy shit! HAHAHAHHAHAHA, thats effing hilarious!!! how old are you guys?

me: 15

him: hahahahhahah wow i remember when i was saying stuff like that. and im 25!

me: awesome

my friend: well scoon is a ski goon hahaaa
 
i was in the park and a little kid in a carhart suit with rentals asks if it was a triple black diamond run because of all the obstacles then he goes off a ramp and rolls over the lip and falls and takes forever to get up
 
skiing in massanutten's main park:

I am taking laps and every time i ride up the towbar I see some kid in a tight abercrombie polo and columbia pants with atomic straight skis something (like racing skis or something), riding off the lips in front of the rails... He also keeps doing 180's and everytime he does it he completely eats shit.

I am just shaking my head in embarassment for him as I ride up the lift

So then one time he rides off of like the side of this table and does a 180... lands about half way down, his skis actually get stuck vertically in the snow and he ejects and takes a while to get up.

Next time I am riding up tow bar in front of him and he starts asking me about my skis. So I say you arn't going to have much luck landing 180's with those kinds of skis on. hes like yea I know I want to get twin tips but I have to get better at skiing in the snowboard park first. I shut up

by the way there is still a sign up in this park that says "snowboard park"
 
hey did you see the salomon jib academy was here today

yeah

they probably want to leave our pipe sucks
 
i generally wear all technine, and don't smile, so sometimes gapers ask me if my mother recently died, or if my puppy got hit by a car.

i don't respond.

i just glare at them.

then afterbang that hoe.

 
today in the parking lot an old lady walked up to my friend and asked were he got that. and he said what my shirt and she was alll oh never mind i thought it was a night gown and walked away ahhaa
 
there was this ridiculous gaper with a full face mask, (he looked like a thug or something) put stil really small and really skinny.He kept going up the kicker with a lot of speed and then right before the take he would turn a do like a 90 degree fall so funny. and then when he was yelling to his friend that he was about to go he was likeIm gonna do the ramp now!

i actually think i might have got him on film.
 
so i was signing up for my first ever slopestyle yesterday at my hill and i have to sign a form and stuff, and i explain to the lady that i ski...NOT snowboard. and she continues to ask me if i am goofy or regular...what is wrong with some people? haha
 
I work on the park crew at my mountain (gore) and today I was standing on the jump (off to the side of course) spotting the landing for people, and some guy rides up the jump and stops right after the lip and starts messin with his googles... retards. Anyway heres the convo

Me: "Dude you cant stand on the jump somebody is gonna run you over"

Him: What are you doing here then? (I wasnt even close to in the way)

Me: making sure people dont stand on the jump like you, I work here (I point to the big patch on my coat)

Him: Oh...

 
yesterday my brother broke one of his brakes trying a 10 and my mom told him he had to get a new one. She said "don't your brakes mke you stop if you get going to fast?"
 
someone told me yesterday who had snowblades/skiboards on, assuming it was their first time out..."why are your snowblades so big?" refering to my twin tips.
 
dinner table conversation tonight.

Mom: So, Afton, I was at the library today, and I saw Shaun White on the cover of a magazine, and boy oh boy is he handsome!

Me: Hahahahahahahahah, yeah he's also an asshole, and a ginger.

Mom: Oh really? That's unfortunate. What's a ginger?

Me: Someone with red hair, really pale skin, blue or green eyes--

Mom: He's not a ginger, he has freckles!

Me: Hahaha just stop talking now mom.

Mom [to my Grandma]: Kids these days think they're so hip with their new slang.

i was laughing pretty hard. oh and i have the 07 arw's and they have a picture of a half naked guy on them, and me and my pops went to go get them mounted today. the guys at the shop were cracking jokes about the graphics and when i got them back they had put their shop's sticker over the guy's nipples and were like WE CENSORED THEM. i thought it was funny, so my dad proceeded to tell the family this and my grandparents were like, we'd like to see these skis. and my dad goes, "oh they're tripple x rated", and i show them and the looks on their faces were priceless......

this is what they look like, btw.

6879.Image.1.jpg

 
finally have one
i was at REI today and i was looking around and at the ski area the person who worked there and she was helping someone and she was saying everything wrong about the skis and she pointed to the volkl pearl skis and said these powder skis.
 
so im skiing at alpine meadows on saturday, there is like a 20-25 ft. table and the snow was slow so im bombin the hill and a gaper cuts me off goes off the jump , lands in between the lip and landing, i then procede to jump over him as he drops his jaw. . . super fun.
 
gaper: did you see all those snowboarders on the linegaper 2: yea whenever I see a snowboarder I let him pass me in the line, I dont know if he has a gun or somethingword for word quote from a pair of gapers on the chair with me today
 
Its not really a quote, but yesterday I was standing on the side of the trail, talking to the other park crew guy and all of the sudden some little kid runs over the backs of my skis (where the tip is too, so he couldnt just go over them), he ate shit, and is lying on the ground going "ssss... oooowww" (exactly like family guy lol) It was pretty funny, my skis were fine, and so was he, but it was just so out of the blue I couldnt help but laugh.
 
the ever so famous when your going up. see a gaper fall. yell to him "YOU DROPPED YOUR POCKET!" they stop, look for a minute and ski away.

or just say "your ski boot is untied"
 
man i feel so lucky, my moutain is pretty much a park moutain, so skiers here dont get asked such dumb things in fact, almost every skier you see in the park has line or armada skis so real popular where i live.
 
When a gaper who goes to my school found out I got obsethed he said : " Oh my god rockered skis are so dumb for powder use"
 
or just "hey you lost something""what?""your speed"me and my friends got threatened by some gapers cause of that. was so funny
 
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