The best gaper quotes

Just remember one from last year, some kid on the lift asked me if I had ever been outback skiing, I replied, I don't think there is skiing in the outback, it is the australian desert after all.
 
i went on a date last week with a "skier" from my area

while at dinner:

him: omg i hate the park and all the kids that ski in it

me: what why? thats lame

him: none of them know how to ski all they do is just jump off little jumps and thats it

me: wow, thats not very nice.. do you know any of them? and i really don't think you know what you are talking about

him: whatever they just don't know how to ski

me: HA...... alright... so i'm not even going to ask if you like park or pow better

him: oh park for sure

me: WHAT? you just spent like 5 mins bashing on it!

him: i ski park sometimes

me: WHAT???

him: and i hate powder you can't go fast in it and its dumb

me: wow are you serious... like really dude? then you don't know how to ski... not going to lie you are making me kinda mad

him: i know how to ski i just don't like powder

me: ok then how long have you been skiing then?

him: like 3 years

me: what? ok wow...... hey i'm really tired can you take me home?

 
i was waiting in line for the chair and the guy behind me said " wow the bottoms of your skis are glowing there so bright do you put batteries in your skis ? " I just laughed and told him it was the color reflecting off the snow then I showed him the bases of my k2 seths with the neon pink base hahah
 
last weekend after skiing a run switch I get into the lift line an this gaper taps me on the shoulder and I take my ear bud out and he says something like "wow your pretty good at skiing in reverse", I know he used the phrase skiing in reverse but not sure bout the exact quote.

older gaper (prob around 30-40) on big emma @ snowbird points out to one of his friends that I have no poles,

gaper: "did you loose your poles?"

me: "no - just having fun"

gaper: "how are you going to ski this with out any poles?"

me: /sommersault -> ski away

 
MOST EPIC GAPER MOMENT EVER:

So first of all I ski up into the line of Gad 2 @ Snowbird and I see this in front of me and start laughing my ass off quietly then pull out my phone - I HAD TO TAKE A PICTURE!:

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I point it out to my bro, that the guy is rocking 2 completly different skis with different bindings that are 210s. Then about a minute later a gaper to the left of the guy says "oh look, he has two different skis too! is it a new thing to use two different skis?" (I have the yeller & white Scratch BCs from 07).
 
The name of the terrain park at Mount Saint Louis Moonstone is "The Outback", there's a very slim possibility he could have meant that?

 
after landing a cork 9 i ski to the lift and the liftee looks at me and says " that was a sick heli bro " so i looked at him and was like " uh thanks , i think im gonna try a gainer next haha "
 
Someone insisted that one of my disorderlys were mounted backwards. Then i explained the symmetrical thing to him, didn't get it still.
 
Going back to a ski shop in Whistler after they mounted the bindings 1cm differently on both skis, and then being asked by the sales girl whether I had wanted the bindings to be put in different places...
 
i show'd the "4bi9 killin' it" video to one of my gaper friends and we get to the part where they are rifing down the rocks and he goes "would that like ruin the botton of there skis?"
 
Yesterday at Timberline, Oregon (of all places):

Yellow Jacketed Mountain Host Lady: You were skiing backwards - I've never seen anyone ski backwards before!

Me: You must not ski here very often.
 
wife: Why are they always spraying white onto the snow out of those cannons?
husband: no dear, those are high tower cameras
wife:but they are painting the snow white?
husband: yes dear

also, "where do ya'll put all the moguls in the summer?

and finally, "so your pants are baggy..... do you smoke pot?

GOTTA LOVE EM!!!

 
k this isnt really a quote but something funny last night that happend. So i was night skiing, waiting for some friends and i was solo in the lift line. I was next to go and this huge gaper rolls up next to me, wearing thick, horned rimmed glasses, which obscure most of his facial region. The people who were in front of me go up to the loading zone for the lift and the chair hasnt even come around yet and the guy next to me wizzez down assuming he can go, he was oblivious to the chair coming in behind him at a high speed. It all happend so fast i didnt have time to laugh, the chair smacked the guy and he went flying. It was hillarious. Everyone was just like "Ooooh". unfortanately for me he got up and resumed his spot next to me. i had to endure his gaperness for the whole ride.
 
and we wonder why skiing isnt growing faster, couldnt it be all this disrespect for entry level riders. the next time any of you think about talkin shit realize you too started skiing one day and yes you were a fuckin gaper for a while. not many of you talkin shit get payed so you should probably practice what you preach.
 
believe it or not, but i saw a guy wearing his helmet the wrong way, he was like 40 yrs or something, but still. it was a helmet that didnt go lower than your ears so it was kinda possible, i skied pass him when he was standing there and laughed so hard that his wife recognized what was going on (maybe she looked at my helmet, both were r.e.ds)...

 
i thought this one was actually kinda a intelligent gaper quote:

our "crew" was at a local demo show and we had three hits each on a (not-too-well-built) 30 ft kicker. well (not that were capable of a lot more), we pulled down rodeo/switch 5s, zeros and bio 7s because of the conditions. after the show we put our jackets, skis & boots in the car and rolled up the pants (i guess i dont need to mention beanies/oversized shirts here).

so as were walking around a guy comes up and is like: "well, you guys are great skiers, really, but in dressing up, your beginners"

its been the most intelligent "man-your-clothes-are-too-huge"-quote i ever got. i smiled appreciatory at him, cuz i knew i cant beat that one..
 
ok ill agree with you to a point. most of these are harmless and fun, and most people involved (im talking about the gapers of course) would more than likely have no way of knowing you are making fun of them. but i have seen a few that are a bit unwarranted, like an NSer making fun of an honest question asked by a young park newb
 
you probably get made fun of for your gaper gap. and the last sentence doesn't even make sense.

today at copper i heard some woman talking to her kid about the "greaseboxes" in the park.
 
A few from Winterplace, WV

First, a few things:

The southeast US has a very high percentage of gapers. Winterplace in WV is "The church group" resort and has the easiest terrain, and is all about beginners. I was there (fo free) over MLK weekend, the busiest, most crowded, and most gaperific weekend of the season, where they had some 500 church groups. When you see the liftline, half have their pants tucked into their boots. A quarter have those terrible 'crazy hats'(you know the colorful ones with dreads and stuff that are in the movie, jonny tsunami).

I get on the lift. first thing these people wearing Charlotte Hornets starter jackets say:

"So what church group are you here with?"

A guy is asking me about my 'double ended skis' (line invaders), looks down and says, "Wow. I didn't know SPY made skis. I have a friend that owns most of the company and he never said anything about that."

Me-"That's a sticker."

Guy-"Oh"

Not so much a quote,

Me and my friends are hiking the park at night(the mountain is flat as shit, and theres shit house lift lines). My friend put his jacket on the slow sign at the top of the park. While were are sessioning a flat down box, we see this gaper snowboarder wearing camo (fat too) take the jacket off the sign and try to ride down with it. We all saw and started yelling at him. He put the jacket back and tried to use some BS and say he was returning it to lost and found since it had been there for 3 hours. He eventually confessed that he was trying to steal it and he said, "Well I wouldnt have tried to steal it if I knew you guys were right there watching it." No shit, great west virginia education for you there.

In the park, there aren't any jumps, just 2 boxes and a rail. All the gapers are jumping off the side of the jumps to the rails. I overheard a gaper say, "Why do they put all these metal grind bars behind the jumps?"

Overheard in the lodge:

"Make sure you bundle up kids. Theres a frostbite warning today." Low:25*F High 34*F

Later, overheard in the liftline, "You fellas know how much them snowmakers cost? I bet you could pick a couple up at the home depot for about a hundred bucks."
 
hah everytime i get on al ift with mine people are always like "those are some really cool skis"and its definitly a robot
 
(after doing a blind 270 out of a single barrel"

gaper:dude ur amazing i didn't see anyone do that all night long"

2 seconds later my friend 2ed on and blind 2 out...
 
yeah i know what you mean, especially cuz im a ski instructor so ive seen it all. But its fun to laugh every once and a while knowing that we were at one time that guy.
 
my favorite is when they fall and dont realize they have to pop the heel piece up before they can click back in. Its the best when they are on the same trail for 15 minutes before someone says something
 
i was skiing today and i get asked by some gaper lady if im a racer, im sitting on the chair lift with my TJ suit and my twintips on my feet, and ask if shes serious, she responds by telling me that i look like one.
 
bunch of gapers with their friends when ever they go for a box, they just scream " make sure your skis are really close together when u get on!!!"
 
my friend spun a little three of a ledge and a ski patroller yelled at him and said we couldnt jump or spin of ledges, then guess he followed us and my friend was riding switch and the guy was like what did i tell you i said no spinning he clipped his pass and i laughed
 
haha i remember that kid who then continued to call everyone who said that it might be him and not the skis fags
 
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