The best gaper quotes

I was sitting in class with this dude who had no clue skiing even excisted..:

me: So, have you ever tried skiing?

him: Like what?

me: on snow. Like downhill, or cross country maybe?

him: Not really...

me: Oh, ok. I like freeskiing, going off jumps and stuff. Have you seen that before?

him: no, i don't think so..?

me: Well, we use twintips, skis that go up in both ends.

him: Oh, yeah! I like to snow shoe too!
 
my neighbour comes over to me

n: what are you up to

me: just building a lil jump so i can ski and hit the rail in my side yard.

n: oooo so you snowboard?

me: nawww i freestyle ski

n: o like flippys!

me: sureee

lol not that great but i thought it was funny at the time.

 
me to my friend(about trip to colroado): these baggage rates for airlines suck. I have to bring a huge ski bag with two pairs of skis.

friend: why do you have to bring two? that sounds stupid.

me: well, powder skis and park skis...

friend: haha, theres not gonna be any powder there.

actually i guess its not so gaper considering its colorado, but he really had no idea what he was talking about.
 
went to get my pipe cleaners mounted.. told the tech i wanted them 1 cm back from center and he said "sorry we cant mount them like that, the bindings might pull out of the binding plate..." grabbed my skis and walked out.
 
gaper: i like watching the kids with those little ski ski boards... and the long ski boards.

me: you mean twin tips?

gaper: no the long ski boards with a tip on front and on back

walk away
 
'what's the purpose of the obstacles all over that run'
'the boxes and rails?'
'yeah, what are they for?'
'you can slide on them'
'with your skis?'
'snowboards too'
'*puzzled look*... hmmm.....why would you want to do that....'
'why would you want to ski in your jeans..'
'because i like to'
'well i like to slide on obstacles..'
*silence the rest of the ride*
 
so a 50 some gaper on foot-long snowblades comes on the lift w/ me today... no big deal until he starts talking in a country western accent. like he pronounces words liyek thiyes (hyuk hyuk). not being offensive to any "country-speaking" nsers, i just cant stand it... so anyway, he starts talking to his gaper friends about stances

"you know, all the new launchin' jumpin' skiers are skiing w/ their feet together, like ankle to ankle.... and this style just started like 5 years ago!.....and all the racers and bump riders go shoulder wide!.........." one of teh most annoying rides ever........

But what i really think is cool is that today i heard of the 70+ ski club (people 70 yrs old and up!) . And these guys rip it! They also seems to appreciate the parks and pipes. heres what one guy said, "...they give the more exuberant [yes, he said exuberant] skiers smething to do!......I wish I could do that, go out and ski jump".....: ) i think thats really cool. I want to still be skiing when Im 70...
 
hahaha fancy is a good word. like nifty.

and this one time i was just buttering in the lift line and this gaper asks me if my skis were bent like that naturally...

also

i'm sitting on the chairlift riding up the mountain with headphones in, and there's a jump down below, and this gaper taps my shoulder and says

"wouldn't it be cool to be able to just go jump off that and do like a 180 twist? i think that would be the coolest thing ever!"

needless to say, i shunned him
 
haha i told one of my friends that moguls are metal domes that they put out under the snow before the season starts... he believed me
 
my freind who is not actually a bad skiier just not good at park asks me and some freinds who our favorite skiers are.

kid- whos your favorite skier??

us- i dunno thers lots of em that i like

kid- oh thats cool... i like jon olsson

but he said it like "john" ya know? i laughed soo hard
 
My gaper friend and i were watching turbo and he sees tom wallisch do his zero spin on the massive windells jump and says,
"Oh, i can do that. He didn't do anything. I could easily do that"
Me: Rigggght
 
"do you have an urban outfitters or is that just a Chicago thing" -BKleinsorry i had too this was just posted on another thread and i nearly died
 
Bunch of people are standing at the top of a run in to a small natural table. I ask if anybody is going (of course they aren't) so I ski passed and do a backflip (I know they aren't that cool. I like them. fuck off)

some kid: holy shit dude! You must be sponsored and shit!

Me: haha

cute girl boarder with me: No he's just a big show off!

made me laugh...
 
I hate gapers. My mountain is covered with people from NYC and when one of them says there famous line " are those trick skis" i get into the habbit of saying "Don't talk to me ever"

I know it is taking too far but i just am racist to the gaper's
 
tonight in the jib park a group of 3 kids showed up ( two walking and one walking with a snow skate) and they come in and they start taking turns like riding down the side of the park and then after about ten minutes, this one kid like accidentaly makes his way over to a rail and like kicks the board out from under hist feet right at the rail. All his little friends were like "WHHHAAATTTTT TTHHEEE FRIGGG" and he just stuck his arms straight out and walked it off like a thug
 
Gaper: points to my skis and says: Are those super hero skis?Me: What?Gaper: your skis look like they have superheros on themMe: Oh. No they are mexican wrestlersGaper: Oh. (silence the rest of the lift)
 
My great uncle is like 72, he lives near some smallish resort in Colorado. He's retired, he just gets a senior season pass every year (super cheap) and shreds all the time...so sick!
 
Me: Will and Maxi have made a sweet quarter pipe at their house. I'm going over there now.

Uncle:: Oh I though WIll and Max were skiers?

Me: They are, why?

Uncle: I thought only snowboarders hit those quarter pipe thingys. You mean like that thing next the chair there?

Me: No that's a half pipe you know shaped like half a pipe...

Uncle: Oh. Is that why you have those twinny tippy skiis yeah?

Me: You're not related to me are you?
 
My community group hosts ski trips and we are going to hunter this saturday, me and my brothers are like the only legit skiers. here's a paper they mailed us, made me lol.

2mdqbnt.jpg

 
1. surprisingly funny for a school ski trip paper
2. impressed they are aware of the term "gaper"
3. in full agreeance of #5 on the do list, as well as # 8 on the dont list
 
one of my dads tennis buddies: so where yall ski ?Me: perfect north and then we go east to seven springs.him: oh is that the black diamond hill, cause i think my brother skied that hill.
i tried so hard not to laugh in front of him
 


"youre a really beautiful skier to watch"

"well son, we leave out skis outside of the gondola, in the basket things" (i bring my octos in because they dont fit in the baskets.)

[later that ride]

"yeah, they are starting to make skis real fat these days. instead of skis having 100mm underfoot like everyones used to, its now like 150"
 
there was a kid in one of my high school classes last year, that insisted on telling me that "my ski blades are much faster than regular skis, and they are alot better when doing rails, spins and backflips, because your doublecurl( I think he meant twip tip) skis are so heavy

me: oh can you do back flips, rails, or any spins

gaper: no

me: have you ever tried

gaper: no i just like going fast

me: where do you go skiing?

gaper: I mainly go in my backyard, but I went to a mountain last year
 
I was just on a ski trip in steamboat and I heard this kid say that moguls were formed from the way the snow falls.

I dont even see any logic whatsoever in that statement.
 
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