The best gaper quotes

I was planning on a quick bite on the ... french fries is a foil bag in my pocket and ketchup in a foam cup

lifty- no drinks allowed on the lift dude

me- yeah there is and its not a drink its ket-

lifty- -throw it away

me- no and its not even a drink its ketch-

dumass stops the lift

lifty- throw it away or you dont ride MY lift

me - listen here asshole this isnt ur lift and im getting on it with my fries and ketchup

lifty- get out of line and eat and when ur done u can get on

me- fuck you turn the lift back on

dumass grts his walky talky out and says -get out of line or I call ski patrol

me- dude im a fucking instructor I have more seniority than you and definitly more hygene skills

lifty-well then I call the manager

me the person who is on a first name bases with the manager- haha haha you go ahead and do that and then you can kiss ur bum ass job good bye and go back on welfare

lifty- whats ur name

me - ***** fucking ******

lifty - I have ***** ****** and he is being insubordinate

me- easy with the big words

lifty- step out of line and wait for ***** (manager)

me- Ill wait here

the line backs up pretty far then a ski patroller comes and asks the problem (he happens to be my co-workers dad)

ski patrol- whats the problem

lifty- (rambles on and blows it out of proportion)

ski patrol- ***** is that what happened

me - no (I tell him what actually went down)

ski patrol- haha haha haha haha haha haha .... ****** (manager) said it wasnt worth his time to deal with but you have to tell him this. dude (lifty) enjoy ur last day of work ... look at this line its a mile long over a rule that doesnt even exist haha haha haha

lifty - but they throw their garbage off the lift

I got on skied down told the manager he thought it was funny but was pissed at the lifty then me and a bunch of friends got lunch trays and lunch then got on his lift he had already got chewed out on the walky talky (another lifty told me about it later) wouldnt make eye contact with me. He got fired. moral dont fuck with me

 
i was at mc sports looking for a racquetball racquet (one of the funnest things you can do at college when there is no snow) and i saw the new dumonts and was checkin them out and asked if they had a 176 and the guy preceded to tell me how i could easily ski the 161 instead and i wouldnt feel a difference.. so i left
 
some girl in my german literature class told me that there is no way possible i could ski backwards like in jibberish (i was playin in class). hahh i laughed at her
 
gaper- dude i ski too and i just bought myself some new skis

me- thats sick. what kind?

gaper- i dunno but theyre parabolic
 
gaper- so wat's the point of those double tips (pointing to my skis).

me- so u can ride backwards and land switch.

gaper- that is so dumb, u probably can't even go fast on them.

me- smirking, i said i'll race u then. u get an 8 sec. head start.

gaper- i'll kick ur butt.

me- yea we'll see.

so we get off the lift and i give him like an 8 second head start. he's about a 1/4 of the way down the hill.

me- bomb the hill backwards, wait for him to get to the bottom.

me- not possible to go fast backwards huh?

gaper- i could of easily beat u, i just wasn't trying. trust me i'm a racer.

laughed my ass off as i skied away.
 
i taught my girlfriend how to ski like 3 years ago and shes going down diamonds now, frustrating at first but she rips now
 
Im asian so sometimes i like to talk in an asian accent, being a "gaper" myself,

me(to a gaper downloading): why you go down da rift?!?

her: i just dont like the conditions up here, im not used to skiing in deep snow.

(fresh courderoy had been laid overnight, hadnt snowed in a week and a half)
 
it always sucks when your at school and you says omthing about about park or snow or jumps or stuff of that nature and of coarse someones always like

Gaper:like o so you snowboard right

me:no i ski

Gaper:ooooo

Gaper:thats lame snowboarders do jumps and stuff

Me:well skiers can too

Gaper:o yeah well can you do a backflip

Me:Seriously now?????!!!!!

Gaper: see you cant

Me:well yeha i can but its not that cool

Gaper:yeah it is snowboarders do it

Me: fine your right doing sideways backflips are way coolerrr

apperently snow boarders are (how do those wippersnappers say) wicked sickly duderman

 
I look forward to the day when I meet a girl who can ski.

I keep hearing they're out there, but every girl I've met or taken skiing is just aggravating to ski with. :(
 
i have gotten

Gaper:Do you snowboard?

Me:uh *look down at skis*...no

Gaper:The why do you dress like one?

Me: i can dress how ever you want.

Gaper:but you ski like one too:

me, being thankful for an 800 foot lift ride, push off the landing and ski towards the park as fast as I can.

 
im just chillin and crusin toward the park...

gaper: (flags me down) hey can you help me with my ski?

me: whats wrong?

gaper: my boot wont fit in my binding anymore. it was workin earlier and i fell and now i think they're broken.

(the ski was facing backwards and he was tryin to put his boot in forwards.)

me: (reach down, pick up ski and pretnd to "fix" the binding and put the ski back down facin forward)

me: here ya go chief, try that.

gaper (clicks in) thanks mister,

me: sure (ski off laughing)
 
at least you were nice. i had to do that with someone once cuz they didnt know to pop the heelpiece back down
 
+ karma 4 bein nice... some people don't realize that tourists sre what keep the resorts running; the season pass holders pay one smaller price, and tourists pay every day they ski.... but yes, they do get annoying sometimes
 
I just had a conversation with a gaper at school today.

gaper- so, you ski?

me- yea, do you

gaper-yea i love skiing

me-what skis do you have?

gaper- I dont know

me- um, okay

gaper-do you use poles?

me-yes

gaper-poles are for squares.

I laughed for a full minute.

 
i work in a rentals at my hill and we get alot of people like this, sometimes its hard to be nice.
 
i was cliff jumping with a friend over the summer and he pulls a gainer and these people from NYC yell out OH MY GOD HE JUST DID A DOUBLE BACKFLIP! so we get up on top and they asked if we ever got hurt doing " thoses flippy things", and we then told them that we get paid to do this and we are jsut having fun messin around.(claim). then we convinced a big fat guy to dive off the top of the cliff and he got fucked up.
 
sorry to get in the middle of this, but if you want to argue, can you just create a thread to vent please? this is one of my favorite threads, and i dont want to see it die because of a silly argument. i know girls who can ski, i know girls who cant ski. can we please just leave it at that???
 
i wasn't trying tostart anything, its one of my fave threads to.

but i wasn't going to just let that shit fly, i gotta back up my fellow lady shredders..
 
yeah i get what your doing, and i respect that. i just feel like this is beginning to take over an otherwise epic thread
btw, i dont have any gaper stories. i just love hearing them
 
if you had let it fly, then it would have ended up slapping him right in the mouth as soon as he saw a girl who is better than he is...which will probably be soon
 
so i got on the chair with this one guy and he turns to me and goes "guess what i just learned?" i responded in a fake excited way "what" then best line ever... "a back flip that means im pro i bet you would like to spend a night with me now...heres my number" he proceeds to hand me a napkin with his number already on it like he was completely prepared for that moment. it was awesome
 
Ill probably just get hated on for saying this but some ( a small percentage ) of the people in this thread need to take a second and think about what those gapers are TRYING to say. They are out of their element, and we are in ours, so don't be assholes about small shit. Sometimes you can just tell that going off the side of even the smallest jump in the park makes their day .

that said,

one time there was a lot of snow under these power lines on the side of the hill, and we found this jump that some one had built way back. anyways there were three gapers hanging out above the jump talkin each other into hitting it. we came down and talked for awhile, then my friend goes down and does a backy and lands perfect, then rides away. one of the gapers is just like yeah thats what im gonna do too and he just goes for it. gets way to much speed, under rotates, and straight up swan dives into the snow about 30 feet past the landing. some of the funniest, most surreal shit i've ever seen. he was fine too.
 
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