The best gaper quotes

this has happened to me once on the chairlift, and some little kid was like, are you making a video?

i just said yeah i guess you could call it that, i do have a video camera in my hands
 
ok this one is pretty funny and long so bare with me.

I was riding up the lift with a kid that was pretty cool. We were haveing a good convo until he said I have nise skis and proceeded to ask if he could buy them off of me. I said yea I was tihnking about it anyways. I had already been getting new skis mounted. Then he says ok so when we get off the lift I will try them on. I look at him like hes gaper. So what the hell I let him. We get off and I take my ski off to give it to him. he clips it in and says it fits good. he lifts up his knee and the ski starts to slide down the mountain and he starts running after like the fuckin gaper he is. I didn't even care I just laughed as everybody rode by his sswearing at him. When we got to the base he handed me my ski and says no thanks they are too small
 
haha. You should have given them one of your old tickets and seen what happened when they tried to get by the lifty.
 
I work in rentals on my mountain, and sometimes when its really busy you forget to ask if the person your helping is skiing or snowboarding and you get them the same type of boots the last person needed.

last year I got this Asian kid a pair of ski boots, he ask 'Dis boot I need' i say yes thats the boots you use on the mountain and go to help the next person, once it died down a little my boss sent me to a tec bench and the kid I helped had just gotten to the front of the lineup, when I walk by I hear the tec thats helping him all confused and I go up, the kid was pointing at the skis the tec brought and saying they skis? and making the motion of a snowboard, then saw a snowboard and said, I want that ski. so I took him back to boots and got in the right boots...

I think that was the funniest thing that happened in rentals, and we of course get a lot of people that don't know a thing about skiing or boarding.
 
After hitting an extremely small rail and almost falling, his friend goes
"DUDE THAT WAS FUCKIN' SICK!!"
I was on the chair laughing my head off
 
Im riding up the lift by myself , it was my first run on the day, pretty early not a lot of people around so i have my ipod in . All of a sudden i hear these kids yelling on the chair behind me. i just tought they were yelling at eachother, then one of them goes ... Hey girl infront of us ! so i turn around and then there is this long pause ..then one of tehm says...how do you get off the lift? i said ummm... stand up .
 
today on the gondola at loon, one of two old lady gapers: "they should make separate runs for snowboarders, they're so dangerous and always out of control. i've been run into by so many of them. i mean they should have trails for snowboarders and trails for skiers. maybe a few mixed ones."
 
so i live in breck right, and there is this guy on his blackberry and he stops me and asks: 'so what is the name of this town?'..... Breckenridge?? ha ha i mean you'd think that you would at least know where your going on vacation!

 
So last year my GF went on vacation with me and the first thing she said was "you look like a snowboarder" because my jacket and pants were some what baggy. I guess she expects all skiers to dress like gapers.
 
My favorite working in rentals is when you would set someone up to ski and they would go out and then come back 20 minutes later complaining about their feet and you look and they put their boots on the wrong feet....
 
not when they cut you off bud, downhill skier has just as much responsibility, they were riding on the far left when i was far right then they cut in super fast to the right. i had the right of way, before cutting hard you need to look up the goddamn hill. i'm not gonna bail out of a jump just cause a gaper cuts me off
 
this one guy had like proper old school skis and somehow made them into twin tips by bending the backs up,  the guy was just like " so you ski park much?"
 
i was sking with my fujatives and i had a pro-tec sticker on i was on the lift with 2 gapyers and one of them goes "oh hey i didnt know protec made skis" then his friend goes, yeah they do there new this year." i could not stop laughing you can tell its a sticker and its right next to the fujative logo
 
alright while on the lift im talking to my friend about camp of champs and this guy who came up with us as a single asked,

"so where are you going now?"

"whistler" i reply

"oh thats nice, when?"

"in the summer", i respond

"oh so do you put wheels on your skis to do that then" the gaper says

"uhh no, theres glaciers there" i say

"ooooh glaciers, for skiing." the gaper says

we try not to laugh and it turned out to be an akward ride up the lift.
 
skid my buddy was teaching to ski

"mr. my laces hurt"

"your what hurt?"

"My shoe laces"

he had his shoes on underneath his rental boots

i donno how nobody noticed

sooo funny
 
gaper-why do those have back tips?

me-so you can ride switch

gaper-oh that doesnt seem fun

me-it is

gaper-my number one rule is to have fun when i ski

 
Skier bashing heel in and out of binding...a while later they are still there:

"Excuse me, I think my bindings are broken. They don't work anymore - I can't get my boot to stay in".

...release lever was in upright position.

I LOLed.
 
While riding my friends new moment comi's (136 at the waist)

Gayper- Are those for mainly tricks?
Me-roflcoptered at him
 
ultimate gaper quote

:"i see that you have those new trick skis"

"yes"

:"ive always wondered, how much extra did you have to pay for them to glue the extra tips on?"

...
 
once there were so many people in the chairlifts that they went super low and the guy next to me thought it was because it had snowed so much when it actually had snowed like 2 centimeters
 
We have 2 mountains in town, harper where these stories took place is the small one, family hill with gapers all over the deck.....

im skiing in the park with my music on.....

old gaper: hey you, do you know where so and so is....?

i cant hear him....

older gaper: YOU, with the skis with 2 tips!!!

me: take out headphones

older gaper: damn kids with your music

me: can i go now or do you want to harrass me some more

gaper jr. (son): where is so and so

me: no idea

older gaper: why not

me: what kind of question is that, i just dont know!

older gaper: damn kids

he skis away and proceeds to fall trying to roll over the lip of the jump..

haha
 
in red river new mexico gaper capital of the world, skiing there bc taos is too windy

im riding the lift with a gaper

gaper: hey where you from?

me: vt

gaper: cool ive been there once

me: same

gaper: not much snow mostly ice good thing they have those things here that run over the ice to chop it up to make it kinda like snow....do they have those in vt?

me: a groomer?....yea im pretty sure all places have those

latter same gaper

gaper: so are you a double black skier?

me: i guess...ive been known to ski double blacks

gaper: cool imma blue square skier

me: i dont really rate my self that way

gaper: i know what you mean i dont like to either
 
so yesterday was demo day at my hill...

"so i decided to try some salomon simon dupri's. i kinda liked them but im not so sure about the double tips."
 
best gaper moment (well, worst, but gaperiest)

shit season, no snow on the home trails so you either downloaded or walked down

walking down the last bit of the trail, no snow anywhere, nothing but rocks & dirt on the ground. 2 15 yearold girls double-poling through the dirt.

me: O_o "hey you shouldnt do that"

retards: do what?

me: you should take your skis off and walk like everyone else

retards: why?

me: ...um, because rocks wreck your skis

retards: how?

me: ....um... they scratch them

retards: so? theyre rentals

oh how i wanted to kill those bitches

 
aight so my friend has poles that are too small for him hes like 6 ft tall na d his poles are like 2 ft tall and have no baskets

ski patrol- (skis next to him) says "hey thoes poles are coll

my friend- "i think they are"

ski patrol- but there really aren't cool"

my friend- " i dont care"

ski patrol- but you could stab yourself if you fall the wrong way

my friend- ...

ski patrol- they really arent cool" he rides away too go bother some other park skiers about 20 ft in front of us
 
I do a 360 tru mute, the gaper sais when he comes down to praise me..... wow nice 360 cross air! i left as fast as i could!
 
not a gaper story but: I was in line with a friend who also skis and i did a 90 and smashed down on his bindings popped him out while simultaneously pushing him over. He fell down and just started laughing. I had fallen over and when I got up I noticed 5 ski patrolers just staring at me . I shrunk down until i got to the lift.

 
^^^ on the topic of ski patrol, i was skiing through like a trail merge section pretty flat and just straight lined it to the bottom, apparently i passed some patrollers on the way down and he chased me all the way through the merge section and down this runout trail of which i had pretty much gone straight down. im in line about to get on the lift he pulls me over and starts chewing me out for going to fast, proceeds to try and take my pass away while telling me that "turnings a good thing and i should learn how to do it". im standing there stone cold give him a thanks for the info and walk onto the chair lift
 
random skier "the only thing good about snowboards is you can do tricks... unlike skis"

other random gaper "how are babies made?"

father of random gaper "son, thats a good question right der"
 
i hate when the kids at my school, who absolutely suck, talk about park with me. they call every box a rail and a roller a jump. it pisses me off more than anything. Also i hate when they call runs hills.
 
oh, goood one. boarder at my school telling me he doesn't need a helmet because he never falls. yeah okay dude, I've been skiing for 14 years and I have a helmet because I fall everyday.. you're just a pussy.
 
fuck off i dont where a helmet because i started ridng back before this country started becoming wusses. any way helmits are fine i just choose not to wear one. but i def make my kid wear one.
 
this weekend i am at the hill and there is this kid on a sonowboard with the most fucked up stance he has like 0 degrees on his back foot (strait across) and like negitive 12 on his front ( turned in). i cant help myself, io go up to the kid and say " yo i think your stnace got fucked up, u need to borrow a tool. " he replies " no i am just naturally pigion toed so i set my stance up like this. " i could nt even responedd i just turned around walked away laughing.
 
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