The best gaper quotes

I'm sure most of you ride with snowboarders, so you might appreciate this.

One time I was getting on the lift with a friend, it was a quad, so the lifty threw two more on with us. Up come these two snowboarders, with their back foot strapped in, pushing with their front foot. We load onto the lift and I said, "Do you guys realize you were getting on the lift...kinda backwards?" And they showed confusion, so I asked what their lead foot was. Both pointed to the unstrapped foot. So I said "Well you know, you should just strap in with that foot, and push with the other. Would make things a lot easier for you. Look at me." They told us they had never been to a mountain that big before (mind you I'm from a small hill in NY), they didn't know how to do it.

A couple of hours later, loading the lift, we see the same two boys, getting on the lift the right way. It was a proud moment.
 
"do you guys go in the snowboard pipe!?"

"mom i did a rail today on my snowboard. It's so much harder than on skiing because skiiers have two things"

 
gaper: do you ski or snowboard

me: ski

gaper: fag...

me: i can prbly ski better than you can snowboard...

gaper: yeah right im so good at pipe

me: ok whats your best trick

gaper: a 920 Mctwist

me: ohhhhhh, ok, yeah your alot better than me...

(walk away)
 
i swear on my life this is true

Ski Patrol/Instructor behind me in lift line: "Dude, those are some dope skis. who makes em?"

Me: "uh, Line."

Guy: "oh, man never heard of them. must be some underground company."

Me: silence...turn around.
 
right after i do a handrag/sitting down 3 off a jump

"hey, i think that might be easier if you stood up and didnt touch the lip when you go off"

and the classic "can you backflip?"

 
these are almost word for word

me standing at the top of the park

boarder gaper "hit that grind"

going up the lift with people

gaper"are those dakine skis"

me "no they are rossis"

scilence for a bit

gaper 2 " are those trick skis"

me " ya they are twin tips

them "do you ski backwards"

my good friend who dosnt ski while me and another friend are hittin the backyard setup

"are you gonna slide down the pipe" reffering to the rail
 
racer dad to his son in the lift line...

"see that guy has twin tips, because he can't decide whether he likes to go forward or backwards."
 
gaper #1: look at those skis they those twin skis type of thing!

me:yea twin tips (showed em my tails)

gaper#2: how do they work?

gaper#1:you can like ski down the mtn all the way backwards!!

me: (ignore) turn up my music haha

 
my brother has line invaders with the pink bottom, and when you lift them up a bit the pink reflects in the snow. So we are at the bottom of the lift and some guy in spandex comes over to him and says

"Is there electricity in your skis?"

"what?"

"Yeah to make the bottoms glow."
 
"its cool to have park skis, even if your not skiing the park" -some gaper with new chronics

"do you like rollers??? theres some pretty sweet ones on yellow"
 
oh and me and another friend were talkin about tanner hall, and my gaper friend was like "whos tanner hall?"
 
guy on lift: wow, why are your skis so huge(talking about my mojo 90s, not that fat).

me: oh, so that i dont sink down in powder and stuff

guy: why would you want to ski in the powder

at my mtn theres a pretty big problem with dumb kids standing on the knuckes on the jumps(like honestly some kid got his helmet tapped a couple weeks ago). so i hit the smaller of the 2 jumps that are right beside each other so i can get closer to some kid while im in the air, and then i stop after it and he comes down and says "hey, its really dangerous for you to hit the jumps when everyone is standing right by the landing."
 
the best is riding switch down the easy "slow zone" trails and staring gapers down as you pass, and then they realize your going backwards and they go "woah that guys going backwards!" omg!
 
haha try buttering like crazy.i have elizabeths and i love to butter more than anything. so im just spinning away and doing little 3s on the ground and shit and i always get the "no motherfucking way" look from the lift haha.
 
Ok this one is funny i was in the line for a chair that was halfway up the mountain witch u had to get a lift ticket to get on the lift duhh right.

gaper: Hey where do u buy those lift tickets?

me: in the lodge

gaper: oh really

gaper: (looks back at his friend gay lover or whater ever and wispers something in his ear)

gaper: do u think you could give us one of yours?

(i had several lift tickets from pervious days

me: no you guys are suppoose buy them to ride the lift

Gaper: but this is our first time here

me: it doesn't matter but i dont care

gaper 2#: Whatever can we please have one of yours?!?!

me: yah.....(then i get on the chair and leaave them)

ahahah this may sound gay here but it was soo funny

JEA

 
on the lift lats week a buddy and i were talking about a guy who did a frontflip off like a 50-60 footer and a gaper next to us asked if he did a forwards flip or a backwards flip. with a southern accent as well
 
So im at Hunter, New York. Im about to drop to a jump and...

Gaper: Dude, sick Armada helmet.

Me: This is a Salomon Patorl Ace?

Gaper: Oh,were did you get it?

Me: Oh dude i got mine at Wal-Mart real cheap for like 10 bucks

Gaper:Sick Duder!

Whats a duder?

WTF I HATE GAPERS.
 
old gaper: r those skis made by line (cuz i find most old people think all twins r made by line)

me: no k2

old gaper: theres a chicken ur skis. (pointing to front of my right ski, 07 fujatives)

me: dont think thats a chicken, its a guy

old gaper: spends the rest of the lift ride scraping all the snow off my ski with his pole marvelling at the "pictures"
 
everytime I show a ski video to my non-skier friends they ALWAYS ask if boxes/rails 'like ruin your skis'?

Also, I've heard a girl who worked at the ski shop I worked at say that Armada was made by Burton. I almost exploded.

Then there is the usual

Gaper: mini skiing is so much better than regular skiing because like you can't catch your tips, and you can go so much faster.

Me: (thinking in my head that this girl is way too stupid for her own good and im not even going to continue this conversation).
 
50 degrees out, sunny, no new snow in past 5 days

"any fresh powder up there?"
"nope"
"so i guess they didnt blow any last night then?"
"Yeah they usually blow one run with at least waist deep but last night was their night off"
 
At a comp at the local. My friend and I were warming up and we were boosting 7's on this hip and throwing down the biggest stuff in the park. Some gaper snowboarder comes up to me and is like "Wow! You guys are really good, but why are you in the park?" We were like "Uhh, we are park skiers, this is where we ski, plus we are warming up for the comp too" He's like "WOAH, you guys are awesome skiers AND YOU SNOWBOARD". We are like "Uhh, no, bugger off" and we ski away.
 
I saw a guy with his snowblades off hiking down the hill at Breck. He came up to me and said "Hi I think the dins are broken on these and I need to find the best way to the bottom" I just replied "Uh, down?"

My buddy works at this ski shop and this ass-hole fratastic looking kid walks in and goes "Hey i need some boots, I only ski black diamonds so I need some boots for black diamond runs..."
 
my friends told me that the coolest thing i could do was sit on my tails while i skiied, and i told them it was not hard at all bu they didnt believe me
 
I hate that shit soooo much. According to anyone that doesn't know freeride, a backflip is the world best and only trick. If you can't do a backflip then you must suck nuts in their eyes.
 
cmon man shes a girl, if a girl can go down a blue I am impressed (no offense to the ladies of ns)
 
on a pow day riding my invaders (my only skis) some gaper on the chair says to me "man those things must float well in the powder"
 
Gaper : How do you guys see when your going all backwards?

And a funny story, may be not a gapher quote but when it happened it was hilarious. My friend was snowboarding and I was skiing and the was this big puddle at the bottom of the run because it was late in the season on a hot day and there are all these Chinese tourists standing looking at this puddle and my friend flies through the puddle on his board and all the water flies up and soaks the chinese people. I started laughing and they all looked at me and shouted something Chinese to me, which only made my laughing worse (not to be rasicst or anything).
 
ha ha ha

one gaper said im going to get major air off that major jumper" the kid goes off the side of the jump getting an inch of air

also some dude asked me "how do i ride on a chair lift"
 
"dude you ski?'

"yeah"

"are you good"

"kinda"

"can you do tricks"

"yeah"

then i always get 1 of 2 questions

"do you use those really short skis?"

"can you do a backflip"
 
Yeah same with me and I am not that good either. I usually get the question about the backflip a lot. Usually i just do the old "i can do a double back flip" and then stand up on a chair with my back facing them. I then pretned like i'm going to do one but then i moon them and flick them off with both of my fingers.
 
I hate when I'm talking about skiing and they're like:

Them: do you do blacks or DOUBLE BLACKS!?!?!?!?!

Me: uhhhh.. honestly I don't go by the trails rating, I just ski what I want. it's not like wooow a double black!

Them: so do you do them?!?

Me: yes... uhhh, I gotta go now.

 
bahaha if you really did tell him this you're my hero i wish i had the guts to just fucking say it!! although some gapers are sooo stupid its funny.
 
that jump is big (15ft jump at most) - gaper on snowboard

i guess- me

it looks pretty steep-gaper

sorta- me

want to see me hit it-gaper

if you can make it to the top- my friend

want to see me kill myself- gaper

sure- me

he does the falling leaf part way down, then bombs it while speed wobbling to the jump, then goes off it, leans back, overshoots it, and lands on his neck. the ski patrol had to close the jump and take him down on a tobaggon.

 
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