The best gaper quotes

RICK_ROSS

RICK_ROSS

Active member
somebody on the chairlift yesterday asked me what they did with the moguls at the end of the year?
i also gotten "what altitude do the dear turn to elk?"
 
gaper in my spanish class last year said

"skiers cant do tricks"

me: yes they can

him: "oh well its mostly for snowboarders"

then he proceeded to talk about how he could ski on grass
 
super gaper at PC asked if I ride the bowl at the bottom....and i was like all the bowls are at the top...and he was like "u know, the trough bowl, like the trough thingy? I was like the halfpipe? then he called it a trough again to describe a skier he saw in it He was a total hillbilly too.
 
Right after I did a flatspin 5.... I heard someone scream in the chair: "Omg this guy did a frontflip!!!!".... oooook...

Also the traditionnal :

:Are you good at skiing?

Me: not bad...

:Do you do jumps?

Me: Yes

:Can you do backflips?
 
haha yeah my friend did a "double backflip" which i actually thought was a corked 7, i'm glad there was a 10 year old racer there to correct me
 
there was this girl from another local-ish mountain who was skiing at our hill one day. she was pretty good it seemed like (for a girl. get over it, dont bitch at me), skiing switch, hitting some jumps, etc.. the mountain she is from is known for their really good park. so she just happens to be a single, while my group of three goes through the line, and we get paired up. on the ride, she starts talking.

her: "your guys' park is really small."

us: "well i guess. its cool though"

her: "yeah, i dont get it"

us:"what the fuck, whats not to get?"

her: "i just dont get that its small"

us: "uhhh...."

her: "the mountain i ski at just put in a kicker thats 93 feet!"

us: "is it public?"

her: "yeah." (no fucking way would this mountain have a 93 footer for random people to kill themselves on). "yeah, the actual take off thing is like 17 feet, and then the table is like 80 feet"

us: "...."

we stopped talking to her, because she was breaking our brains.

but of course, she keeps talking...

"do you guys do backflips and stuff?"

"uh, i guess."

"because i never really see anyone here do backflips. at my mountain, most people do like double backflip 900's."

she said that people do double backflip 900's.

we all laughed at her, and did not say another word to her for the rest of the ride up.

 
I was skiing down a wimpy beginner hill going to the park and I was skiing switch.

Patrol - "YOU!! FACE THE FORWARDS WAY!"

Me - "What?"

Patrol - "You'll catch the back of your skis in the ground and hurt yourself"

Me - "NO i won't, I have twin tips, see?"

Patrol - "ohh, well, its dangerous don't do it."

 
gaper: so what you doing here in sunvally

me: oh im in the halfpipe comp tomorrow

gaper: wait, you snowboard too!?!?

gaper: oh crap he's going back wards! thats insane!!!! How do they do that!

me (yelling at a gaper on the knowl): hey get out of the way

gaper: i know what im doing! cant you see what im doing!

Proceeds to fall over on the landing and slides to the bottom.
 
can you do those pipe things

Halfpipes

no

quaterpipes

no

what do you mean

points to a rail

This ones not that funny: are those next years PE's?

No They are this years.

No they are not, mine are this years.

He points to his skis that were k2 mogul skis
 
one lady was CONVINCED that they made snow on one side of the hill and moved it to the complete other side of the hill where the park is, yes this happend but not early in the season, and not ALL the way ACROSS the hill, and not from on area of snowmaking to another ara of snow making, pretty funny
Trails07-S.jpg


from trail 1 to 7n
 
"hey lets go do that new obstacle course" (refering to the terrain park)

"Where are the brakes on these things???" (while flying down the hill at 196 mph)
 
W

T

F

?

BAHAHAHAHAHA!

Oh, and the owner of my ski hill is a fucking gaper; went up on the lift with him once but I can't remember what he said...
 
2 days ago, 56 degrees, shitty snow.

guy on lift- i like those powder skis of yours, is the powder on the backside?

me (with my 1080 foils) - they are not powder skis, and no.

guy- what are they? those are the fattest skis i've ever seen!

 
My friend went to play it again sports to see how much he could get for his skis and the guy asked if he "bent the tails up himself"
 
Gaper: where do they put the snow during the summer.

Me: they load it into dump trucks and put it in a huge freezer

Gaper: really? that must take awhile
 
gaper: are those tricky skis?

me: yes

gaper: so you can like do tricks and stuff?

me:...yes

gaper: so you can like do grinds and helicopter spins??

me:...........sure

gaper: so are you like spansorized and are in like the xgames with shaun white???

me:....no

gaper:....can you do a backflip??

me: no! you fucking gaper, why the fuck do you and all other peopl like you with your fuckin skiblades come in a park and proceed to create a cluster fuck of bitches and destroy all of our lips and jumps by going 3 miles over it and just going down it and cutting people off and make complete assholes of yourself. god fuckin dammit! alot of people can do backflips and do "helicopters" and grind, you along with the rest of your gaper parasite need to just d=stay out of the park and make everyone happy. fuck!

gaper: ( some high school rich kid) proceeds to get teary eyed

 
(on a powder day)

"i've been having the hardest time skiing all day, I can't seem to dig my edges into the powder!"
 
gaper: i like your skis

me: thanks

gaper: is it hard to go backwards?

me: you get used to it

gaper: so are you guys allowed in the snowboard terrain park?

me: uh...yeah

gaper: when did they open it to skiers?

me: skiers could always go in it

gaper: (proceeded to tell a ten minute story about skis during the 1950's, i wont tell it here due to extreme boringness)
 
gaper: oh, so those twin tippers are so if your screw up and land backwards you wont catch your tails.......right????

me: seriously? (continued to stare.......)
 
gaper: do you know how to do up skiboots?

Me: ya

gaper: do you think you could do mine?

Me: ya, i probably could...

then i walked away
 
while doing a tip stand on the bottom of a run

ski pat-"my friend broke his skis doing that once"

me- "they are supposed to do that"

ski pat-"no my friend broke his doing that"

me-"ok"

get down from tip stand and as soon as he skis away i do it again

and i was told one times to ski down a run switch by a bunch of gapers who called my skis "twin tippers" lol
 
lol when i bought my first pair of twin tips the store clerk showed me the T-Halls and said "these are the t-hall model, you know who he is right?" and i had no fucking idea

theres my story of being a gaper oh how far ive come
 
so I was up with a good friend (but a gaper none the less) and he was talking how the park and halfpipe were for snowboarders blah blah blah. you know, the whole skiers doing tricks WHAT!?! thing. I explained the history of freeskiing then hit the park.

I've got plenty more I'll post later.
 
on tom wallisch's footy from the entire season of 06 07

"This guy really has a knack for landing backwards"
 
One gaper to another: I did a backflip followed by a frontflip

Gaper: do a backflip!

Me: *pushed a backflip in moguls*

Gaper: *shut up and skied away*

 
i don't get too much of that shit but what i find funny is all the kids in my school think i'm like good as fuck at skiing and should be in the x-games or something. i'm just like no really i'm not that good compared to a lot of people then i get dude you can do like 540's and 720's you are definitely good as shit. i just say yeah...okay man you got me there, i am a pro.
 
ok lol i dont feel SOO stupid now lol but maybe next time i tip stand they will break and i will post in here

"fuck" lol
 
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