The best gaper quotes

this one dumb chick I was talking to said this.

girl"Yea i love skiing"

me"so do you freeski or what?"

girl"I can do red's and one time I was doing a jump and I got air"

me *facepalm
 
Gaper up in govy on hood. Me and a few homies went down to the dairy queen. And we still had all or gear on. He comes up to us and goes "yo did you guys go up today?" "no man Just came for the DQ"
 
on the way up the lift one day me and a friend of mine were about 1/4 up the hill and i spotted a girl crying in fear as she was pizzaing down the hill, and me and my friend started to laugh a little and were like shes done for the day. a few runs later we are going up the same lift and we see the same girld doing the same thing, maybe not a gaper but a total idiot.
 
>2 years ago at provincials for moguls, on the chair lift with some buddys of mine. >a woman asked how we do all those "crazy spins and flips"

>we say "oh, you gotta get certified and have lots of training"

> all she said was "CERTIFIED CRAAAZY!" we all had a good laugh after
 
Once there was a gillbilly (gaper and hillbilly mix) decided to chill out on the landing of a medium sized jump . As im skiing up to him to swear his ass up he asks me " where is the gawndoola?"

my reply was "im not sure what that is"

as im thinking of what the hell a "gawndoola" is i notice his goggles are a pair of science classroom saftey goggles and the strap is a worn out shoelace. i then realize that by "gawndoola" he means The Gondola. so instead of telling him where that is i just afterbanged away....Take that bitch....

 
Black man with about 4 or 5 teeth, blood shot durp eyes and a long board from the early 80:

You should do skier cross! You get mad air. More than park. And the best part is the speed. Imma SPEED DEMON try to race me white boy!
 
"nice shaped skis"

"why do u have such old boots" (i ahve FT classics, so i gues he could see this)

me- ya iv bean getting into competing

gaper- nice what do u do?

me-i do freestyle like jumps and rails, like in the x games

gaper- Ohh mogels! i get ya!

me................................(dont talk to him for the rest of the chair lift ride)
 
*trying to convince my friend to hit a butter box for the first ever time*

Me: "Cmon, its not hard at all..."

Friend: "Well, i dont know, is it buttery today?"

Me: "What the...?"
 
i bet that made you feel cool.

half the posts in hear just arent gaper quotes at all and are just people making up stories of them dissing gapers to sound cool
 
This ten year old was on the lift next to my friend and i.....

He saya.....awwww bro i just ate it hard

My friend....how

Him. ...i was doin a 180

Me....where

Points to flat spot in the terrain park

Friend....that mustve been a prettu hard turn

Gets off the lift and falls pver

Us....ski away
 
"I don't know if those boots will match your outfit, remember they are prime colors."

Something like that, I had to sit there and watch, I felt so bad for the bootfitter and I wanted to laugh so loud. This mother and daughter kept saying the most ridiculous stuff. This was after she said she was an advanced skier.
 
Got separated from my friends and jumped on with two 16 yr olds both on A-bangers and some random 10 yr old on ski boards. The ski board kid looks at my skis and says something like "wow your skis are real big huh?" (sfbs) I was just like "yeah but I'm a bigger guy" tryin to be nice. The two A-banger kids in jackets to their ankles start giving the kid crap about his ski boards. One of them said "ski boards tried to bite off of twin tips and failed." I looked down at the kids ski boards and they were old hand-me-down line mike nick pros. I looked back at the A-banger kids and jus shook my head and face palmed myself. All they could say the rest of the lift ride was "what?" what's funny? His ski boards?" Felt so bad for the ski board kid. Right before we got off the lift I said "I used to have those same ski boards." loud enough so the A-banger kids could hear. Ugh.
 
Not really a gaper quote, but a decent story. I was standing at the top of the inrun for a jump, when this gaper barrels across the hill, then promptly decided to carve, while doing the wedge, down the inrun towards the jump. So we're all yelling at her, telling her to gtfo. As she rolls over the lip of the jump, a skier drops, and launches a cork 7 over her head. She screams and never bothered us again afterwards
 
These kids were being annoying and kept touching my skis and my friends snowboards and they were talking really loud and just being stupid. So i turn around and im like can you stop touching my skis and shut up?Then that triggered them to do it even more so i told them to shut up again and i said, nice spandex kid.

Anyways, i make it onto the chairlift and he yells "i shall prove to him that i'm in the top 5!"

Once we're at the top he just straight lines the hill until he catches an edge and wiped like 50 feet just rolling. it was funny
 
My sister's tweets:



Ohhh I can't wait to go skiing and tear shit up!!!! #Lifeofashredhead

LMAO at all the locals who think they're good at skiing and boarding but have never been past seven springs!! #Lifeofashredhead

I want a bunch of snow so I can ski 6 out of 7 days of the week. #Lifeofashredhead

Going to pick up my brothers powder skis! I wanna go out west with him so bad. #Lifeofashredhead

First of all, kids at springs fucking kill, and she broke her leg on the bunny hill, was scared to go ski beside the half pipe, wrecks every time she attempts anything harder than a circle, and my powder skis aren't even done being mounted yet so I'm sure she had fun "picking them up". And she would die if she came out west.

But my favorite one was from my dad:

Dad: Your new issue of Freeskier came. It looks really cool. There is a guy doing a slide on a hand rail on the cover.

Me: That's cool, did it happen to say who it was?

Dad: I think it was Shaun White.

 
On Monday I was in driving in drivers ed and my instructor and i ended up getting on the topic on skiing. He ended up telling me his skis are bent up in the back so he can do half helicopters. Instantly thought of this thread.
 
im wearing a level 1 tee, waitin in the lift line, some guido snowboarder with womens goggles and a full white puma suit points to me and says to his friends

'check out this kid, his sweater says evil one!'

it was hilarious at the time
 
At my local indoor hall at the top of the fun park (a box, three rails and a jump, best thing I have near me.)(Shapers are good tho.)

Gaper: "Hey dude why are you using kid's poles, Only newbies use short poles."

*Note he had some ridiculously long poles only really meant for someone with the stature of Chewbaca.*

I mind my own business and casually jib the only box, land switch and stop.

What I then saw unfold before my eyes was truly amazing.

He jumped on the box straight on, and his ridiculously long pole catches in the snow beside the box this drives it against his chest launching him over himself in some crazy flip in which he releases both skis and bends both poles whilst thumbing down.

I just said: "Thats why." whilst stopping one of his skis from racing down the hill.

 
*sitting on the lift*gaper mom: are you the guy in the park?me: yeah thats megaper mom to her daughter: *insert girls name here*!!! this is the guy that did the double 360!!me: ...
 
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