The best gaper quotes

Our school had a recent ski trip to an indoor ski center.

The place had a small park (5 rails) over at one side.

me and my friends decided to head over to the park.

after one lap of the park we were told if we continued messing around we'd not be allowed to ski anymore.

also we were at a park night at a indoor ski center

we had a gopro and were filming.

the lift operator caught us and threatened to confiscate our camera and wipe the SD card.

Also kids at my school who can just about snowplough continually say "man, you got so much air" whenever they roll the lips of a jump.

 
fat loser kid gaper i hate at my school: oh this is my third time skiing i think im ready for the rainbow box rail at afton.

he went to the hospital falling on his head on the first flat box rail he rides on funny as fuck.
 
gaper-" I saw you in that skate park section of the mountain"

me-"oh yeah"?

gaper-"ya I used to do that stuff in my backyard but now I like racing better... Well just racing my friends (fellow gapers) down the hill"
 
ridding up the lift mom gaper: why do u put disgusting stickers on ur hemet?

me: which one are u talking about?

Her: the one with the bloody man.(a k2 sticker)

me:idk

Her: * she starts peeling of the stickers*

Me:* swipe her hand away and get off the lift*

and of course the original " can u backflip?"
 
i would never go to play it again sports "again" they sometimes have good stuff but 90% of the people there are fucking idiots who have no idea what theyre talking about.
 
A friend of mine was talking about starting on the newschool skiing school at his city.

So I asked him if he had bought twin-tip skis, he said: "I'm just going to bend the tails of my skis:"After a while he said that he had bought twin-tips, he joined me to Trysil (a mountain in Norway), with his brand new snowblades..
 
it isnt a quote, but yesterday i saw a kid in a tall oakley pants and coat that was about ten, but he also had a vintage 70s helmet. then he tried to slide a box straight but didnt pop enough so he caught his on the box a fell on his face all the way down the box. it was pretty funny...
 
Lol so my friend who isnt a very good skier at all is looking at new skiis this year and he asked me which ski's i thought were better

"should i get the M S P fourut skis or the CRJ skis?"he meant to say 4frnt

He was also asking about weather he should buy a new brand or not

"ive been thinking about getting a new vollyers hoodie..."

-voleurz



 
gaper sits down on the landing

me: "please clear the landing sir, my friend is about to hit this jump"gaper "i can't ski"
 
at my home mountain blue hills:some old lady in the lift line : ''Your goggles are supposed to be on top of your helmet!"

or

ski patrol telling me not to hit anything in the park switch

or

gapers telling me and my friends we cant go fast with "long shirts"
 
I mean they are kind of right. Baggy clothes provide for more wind resistance so you definitely wont be able to go as fast as if you were wearing a speed suit.
 
I was once asked by a gaper "whats the point of two tips? does it make you faster?"

Also when riding my pow skis one day I was asked "hey are you on water skis?"
 
alright i have two. I swear to god these are true.

#1. background: I'm a ski instructor at a tiny little local hill. We have a new ski school manager this year and he was asking the group of "junior trainers" (we teach the new instructors) about what they thought afterbang was because he had apparently just learned what it meant.

One of the snowboarders: "Ooh! I know... Isn't afterbang when your skiing in too much powder and you fall and all of your equipment explodes and flys everywhere?"

#2. Background: I have a coworker (different job) who is a chronic liar. He basically claims to have held every job imaginable, played every sport imaginable, etc. He talks down to EVERYBODY. a few days ago he saw me watching a ski video.

Him: "You ski?"

Me: "Ya, I'm a ski instructor"

Him: "Your an idiot... Snowboarding is cooler and way more fun"

****get in 45 minute argument with him about how skiing is equally fun if not more, and don't get anywhere whatsoever******

Him: "Alright... the only cool thing I have ever seen on skis was a spider helicopter, do you even know what that is"

Me: "Well, a helicopter is an ambiguous term that can mean really anything... and I'm pretty sure a 'spider' isn't a real trick either"

Him: "You're wrong. Helicopter is absolutely a term. It's the skiing term for spin, whenever you spin you are doing a helicopter. A spider is when you:"

***he spends several minutes demonstrating and trying to explain a grab where you basically do a super spread eagle (like a split) and grab the tips of both skis***

Me: (mentally facepalming)"Ya, that would be pretty cool."
 
I was talking to my girlfriend on the phone telling her about my latest purchase of new skis. Then she asks if I have "short skis" and goes "you know the ones people do tricks on!", I have to say i did have quite a good chuckle to myself.
 
I got this one a few times last year: So, my park skis are Fatypus G-Butters and they say "FAT-YPUS" in big letters on the nose, on the lift people will look down and see this and ask me "Aren't those fat skis hard to ride on these groomers?" It's pretty funny because if they actually looked at the skis, and not just the name on them, they would realize that they are no wider than theirs.
 
this one time i was on the chairlift with some gaper and we saw a guy do a dub 10 and the gaper was like "omg what was that?!" so i turned up my music and fucking killed him.
 
hahaha kinda like that:

My girlfriend skis.... ive never skied with her however since we havent been datin into a ski season yet.... anyways be and one of my park buddies were talking about skiing and stoking for the start of the season and we started talking about tricks... i dont remember exactly what trick we were talking about but my girlfriend goes "whats that?" and me always being an asshole says "wow gaper" and she goes "whats a gaper?"

obviously not as funny as some of the stuff on here.... but at the time it was hilarious
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top