The best gaper quotes

today me and Logey. were at our local mountain and we had one encounter with a gaper and a one with a look-a-like gaper.

Gaper in the line - I think im gonna try to 3 that jump

gapers friend - dude I dont wanna go on the jumps again they were scary

waiting to hit the jumps later, we both 3 a little shit jump,

Gaper - Oh that was cool * goes to hit jump and straight airs it *

We go to the next jump to see what he gonna do now,

gaper - * goes off the side of the jump and celebrates *

now to the gaper look alike, gaper comes up to us with camo pants, no hat, no goggles and a t shirt, last time we saw him he was doing straight airs off the jumps, he asks us if any body has done any inverts off the second jump, we do our thing off the first jump and then see him straight air it like usual, then speed checks a couple times and then just bombs to the second jump annd fucking hucks a backflip, like what the fuck ! We were in total shock haha

 
So on saturday night, the local mountain has a deal that people can ski, snowboard, or tube for 33 dollars. It brings Asians in by the bus load, like they come in busses. First off, they haev extreme amounts of food and those huge 24 packs of Ramen and they fucking have a line to the microwave. Then they all decide, hey the park is a good place to learn to ski or snowboard so they all go into the park, although the part of the mountain the park is on has way easier trails to go down. And lastly, every ski patroller sypathizes with them for no reason.

Now its story time.

One night, a group of us make a trip up. We get there, change in our cars to avoid the lodge them just hop the fence onto the mountain. After lapping the park for about 3 hrs we decide, he lets go ski for real for a bit. We decide to go down a easy trail and we just kinda chill and cruise around doing 1's annd 3's of everything. This one ski patroller catches up to us at the bottom, and starts trying to tell us to slow down and what not. We are polite and are like ya dude no problem. Go back up and decide to hop onto the steep mogul run. Cruise down that at the bottom, and near the bottom, a couple of the asains are sitting on some of the moguls, with their Raman. we tell them that they may want to move, because they are sitting on a trail. They start yelling at us and freaking out so we all ski away. Get to the bottom again and the ski patroller appears again and asks us if we told the asains to move. We are like yes, they are on a trail, eating. He start bitching at us telling us that isn't are job and blah, and that they are out of the way of everyone (they were in the middle of a not wide trail) he tries to tell us of. We just kinda stand there and then at the end of his rant, he is like "alright, i need you to follow me", one of the kids in our group asks why and where are we going? He responds with, "Skier Services, I am gonna have them revoke your season passes and you won't be getting them back." We are like, umm they aren't going to do that, and this is bullshit and whatnot. So he is like either come with me or i just take your passes now. We follow him to skier services where one of the managers of the mountain talks with each of us, and in the end, bring the ski patroller in his office and tell him off, and that he needs to protect people by not letting them sit in the trail and that he should be his job. We walk out after the manager apoligies and is like it won't happen again,.

 
saw someone getting on the lift and somehow was able to fall off and get stuck hanging upside-down by their skis on the other peoples skis
 
Me and my friend were getting on the lift today when someone asked me "What is wrong with your skis???" I look back at my tails thinking i had a messed up edge (my OLD invaders are known for that) but i see nothing. I ask him what he saw. and he was like "Your skis are glowin do you have neon under them??" i did a tipstand so he could see it, and he said he was about to ask me how the lights didn't break. fun day.
 
hahahahaa stupid patroller, he's not the brightest person obviously.

Not to be racist, but I just imagined them scarfing down those noodles with chopsticks at a rediculous pace. DAMN YOU ANINE!
 
Did you ever consider that this kid was being sarcastic? My friend does that all the time. For example, every time he sees a telemarker he begins yelling, "What are you doing! Keep your foot in your ski! Keep it in!"
 
at least one time per day when I have an DSLR out shooting video...
gaper: So you snappin some photos?me: No I'm shooting video.gaper: Oh well that looks like a picture camera to me.me: It is. One that shoots video.gaper: So do you take photos with it?me: Sometimes.
gaper: Oh. Well I take videos with my camcorder.
 
A little conversation with the guy working the ticket counter at Attitash/Bear Peak today.
Me- "So how are the glades today?"
Ticket Guy- "Oh you want to be careful in there. There is all sorts of sticks and rocks you don't want to ruin your skis."
Me- "Oh that's okay my ski's are used to taking a beating."
Ticket Guy- "Well be careful because they don't groom or blow snow in there.".
 
god damn another gaper, thinking he's not

ticket guy probably hasn't been up all day, even so

you're the one who asked about the glades in the first place, what did you expect him to say? He was just looking out for some in over his head tourist. "durr how's chads gap today, mr. parking lot attendant?"

 
some of those school kids are damn good... I've even had one student who was better than me from a technical standpoint. of course most of them aren't very good.
 
First i gotta' tell you who Jesper Tjäder is : Sponserd by Sweet protection, Kombi, Head and YNIQ . Swedish ski hero.

Geting on the lift with a totally rich gapper.
Gapper:"Hey I saw you do some crazy spin on the grinds" ( I did sw up's 270 off's and surface switchup..)
Me:" Ahaa.."
Gapper:"Are you good on the big jumps?"
Me:"kinda"
Gapper:"Can you backflip with spins?"
Me:"Laughs and says you mean cork? Suure."
Gapper:"Cool.. Do you know Jesper Tkäder?"
Me:"Kinda skiied with him sometimes .. "
Gapper:" He is like the best! almost like Jon olsson!!"
Me: Laughs and get of the lift to ride a rail line and leved him.."

And this!

Hillbilly gang...

Gapper1:" I'm going to do a cork..(looks cool)"
Gapper2:"Yeah me to.."
Rest of the gappers is like yeeeeaaa!
Gapper1: (to me) Looks at this fag!

And then all the hillbillys lines directly after their hillbilly friends and the like ride 10 kids att the sametime and 2 of them does a 360 ( The two who said that they where gonna do a cork)
Then in the coffeshop att the hill..
Gapper:"Wow twintippers are gay .. Beacous they are afraid to like ahead in th ejumps .. "
 
not a quote, but saw some kid wearing his crowbars under his helmet, facemask, nike 6.0 jacket, and a level 1/tall-t collab tall tee getting a lesson from an instructor on frontside atomic carving skis, learning how to hit a box. he got about 2 feet of it each time before falling off to the side.
 
a guy under the lift spun around a 360 on flat ground and the girl next to him literally thought it was the coolest thing ever.

"WHOAA HOW DID YOU DO THAT??"

"what, that spin move? like this!!!"

"WHOOOOOAAAAA"

 
literally every mother and her child finds it necessary to ride through the terrain park. bristol mountain should be called "Gaper Central, NY"
 
i honestly have no idea why kids do that, or why a mother would spend so much money on a brand new sport for her child. my first skis cost probably less than 100 dollars with bindings. given i was like 10, but you'll get more hate in the park for having all that stuff on and being absolutely terrible than just wearing your regular snow stuff.
 
theres a guy like this at my hill: T-Wall Hotdoggers, Crowbars, Saga pants and Jacket. Procedes into a dfd rail, and I was like "shit, this is gonna be good." Poser A rides over the jump and recieves a whopping 1 inch of air. I was sitting there just thinkin' "sweeet." Pretty nice guy tho...
 
it was snowing a decent amount today in the morning... when i was at work... work is in the view of the sierras from the window...

gaper comes in to use the internet cafe and says... "so are they blowing / making snow up on the mountain and it is coming down on us right now?"
 
hilarious excerpts from a butt hurt gaper

"you are one of the out west pussies who bitches about snow conditions"

"you dumb ass park rat. Go buy some clothes that are way too big. It definitely makes you look cooler."

"we certainly are better skiers out here because we can ski any conditions. Any schmuck can ski out west. Now go turn up the awful mainstream rap that I know you listen to, and get back to thinking you are cool in the park. Stupid park rats don't know shit about real skiing."

"Try real skiing sometime"

"I am 13 and have never heard of Tanner Hall, thats why I ride Armada and his Il Moro boots."

"we have plenty of double blacks, that are actually harder than double blacks out there"

 
you're right I trolled him pretty hard, he's still going, here's the PM string...so far

Date Sent: Feb 14 2011 17:49:54 - (read)

NE_Skier13 --> Static

It's pretty common knowledge that glades aren't groomed or have snow blown in them. At least in New England, you wouldn't know because you are one of the out west pussies who bitches about snow conditions. In over my head? Come ski the New England trees and see how in over your head you would be. You wouldn't last a day out here, your ice is what we call loose granular. Grow some balls, I bet you don't even ski the trees in Colorado, that's why your too stupid to realize you could NEVER fit a god damn groomer in a glade run. Deeeeeeeeeeeeeeer.

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Date Sent: Feb 14 2011 22:28:54 - (read)

Static --> NE_Skier13

haha you mad,

gaper

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Date Sent: Feb 14 2011 22:43:09 - (read)

NE_Skier13 --> Static

I see you have taken your daily dose of retard today you dumb ass park rat. Go buy some clothes that are way too big. It definitely makes you look cooler.

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Date Sent: Feb 14 2011 22:50:11 - (read)

Static --> NE_Skier13

haha, you couldn't be more wroMAD

next time your school organizes a ski trip ask the bus driver to do a beacon check

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Date Sent: Feb 14 2011 23:22:31 - (read)

NE_Skier13 --> Static

Just because you are retarded and didn't know groomers don't fit in glades doesn't mean I am mad. I actually find you funny. The cockeyed ticket-counter moron has more intelligence than you.

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Date Sent: Feb 14 2011 23:25:26 - (read)

Static --> NE_Skier13

you mean the guy at the ticket office? where you bought your day pass? that you clipped to your jacket's zipper? haha, have fun skiing the glades a couple times a year in MASS!

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Date Sent: Feb 14 2011 23:29:24 - (read)

NE_Skier13 --> Static

Google is a powerful thing, Attitash is in New Hampshire not Mass. You really are retarded and have no idea what you are talking about do you? We may not get as much snow, but we certainly are better skiers out here because we can ski any conditions. Any schmuck can ski out west. Now go turn up the awful mainstream rap that I know you listen to, and get back to thinking you are cool in the park. Stupid park rats don't know shit about real skiing.

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Date Sent: Feb 14 2011 23:36:06 - (read)

Static --> NE_Skier13

attitsh? I don't even know what that is. and your constant "park rat" attacks are hilarious. I'm sure the park is the best part about the trash dump you buy day tickets at.

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Date Sent: Feb 14 2011 23:47:19 - (read)

NE_Skier13 --> Static

Of course you would think so, because you are a silly park rat. What's wrong with a day pass anyway? I'm not a park rat that just goes to one mountain over and over and over and over and over again every season just to ski the whole day in the park. When you are a real skier it is more enjoyable to go to a different mountain every time. Try real skiing sometime until then fuck off.

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Date Sent: Feb 14 2011 23:54:28 - (read)

Static --> NE_Skier13

REAL SKIING ON REAL MOUNTAINS WITH REAL ROCKS! Thank you, Tanner(Even though I doubt you know who Tanner Hall is, being 13 and into big mountain EC skiing. haha, I bet you've never even skied a double black.

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Date Sent: Feb 15 2011 00:00:31 - (read)

NE_Skier13 --> Static

Hahahahaha ya I am 13 and have never heard of Tanner Hall, thats why I ride Armada and his Il Moro boots. You have now taken sped to a whole other level. Big mountain no, but many places with just as much vertical feet as your "perfect" resorts have. Check some trail maps we have plenty of double blacks, that are actually harder than double blacks out there because our snow isn't nearly as good. As I said before though, thats what makes us better skiers, we can handle all snow conditions. Also, a double black doesn't make you a good skier. Even you can probably snowplow your way down a nice powdery double black. I would love to see you shit your pants on our double blacks that are covered in sheets of ice.

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Date Sent: Feb 15 2011 00:07:36 - (read)

Static --> NE_Skier13

haha I love how you group yourself in with everyone else, just because you're from the same side of the country as simon dumont doesn't mean his skills are geographically linked to yours. O wait, never mind he's another park skier, people you hate. One question though, why ski on Armadas? or in Tanner's boots? I'm sure there is some AT gear thats more your style. Have you heard of the TGR forums? they are more geared towards real skiers like yourself.

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Date Sent: Feb 15 2011 00:19:10 - (read)

NE_Skier13 --> Static

I don't give a fuck what side of the country Simon Dumont is from. I ride Armada because simply put they are the best skis around even for New England ice, and I ride Tanner's boots because they are not just for park, they are for every type of aggressive skiing. Take a look at the Armada crew, sure they ride park, but they also tear it up just as much in the woods and the big mountain lines. Diversity man, it is the spice of life. I am on this forum because just like you I have the right to voice my opinion and share whatever I feel like sharing. Also, because from what I have read most of NS isn't like you, and they also have tips for all types of skiing. All I did was share an experience of mine that I and the people with me at the time found quite funny. If you didn't thats fine, but the reason I sent you a message is because I respect what the thread is for, quotes and experiences from/with dumb people. Not to lash back and forth with some cunt who thinks he knows everything.

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Date Sent: Feb 15 2011 00:24:01 - (read)

Static --> NE_Skier13

haha, you are the know it all! this whole time, you've been the know it all gaper! that's the best part. now to respect the gaper thread

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Date Sent: Feb 15 2011 00:25:42 - (read)

NE_Skier13 --> Static

I wouldn't be on this forum if I knew it all. If anyone is a gaper its you, bringing up double blacks like your a bad ass. hahahahahaha keep being a sped

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Date Sent: Feb 15 2011 00:29:19 - (read)

NE_Skier13 --> Static

"I bet you've never even skied a double black." - Static

The more I read that the harder I laugh, thanks for the sig! hahahahahaha

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Date Sent: Feb 15 2011 00:40:42 - (read)

NE_Skier13 --> Static

bahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha Wow, you are way more of a sped than I thought you actually took me serious when i said ya im 13. hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

Stay in school kid, you definitely need it. hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahahahaha

Thanks for the laugh, I forgot stupid people could actually be amusing.

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>

 
A kid in lift line was looking at my skis when he asked me,
Him: "are those newschoolers skis?
Me: What?
Him: They have NS on them
Me. ........sure

 
what's "noob" about that? good skiers come from everywhere.

and Noss was probably asking that because the One Life's have a graphic that fits together as a right and left pattern. It's not THAT bad of a question.
 
I'm just giving Nebula shit cuz I know him.

And there it is a pretty dumb question, it doesn't matter what ski goes on what foot, I have one lifes and I just put them down, the graphics only line up on the base so no one can even tell.
 
looks to me like the graphic fits together....

surface-one-life-skis-2011.jpg
 
so my friend has a pair of rossignol fks bindings
http://www.google.com/images?client...l=en&source=imghp&biw=800&bih=410&q=rossignol+bindings&gbv=2&aq=0&aqi=g2&aql=&oq=rossignol+bi

^ link for the kdis who dont know..

gaper: hey what are those pokey things?

friend: my bindings..

gaper: how do you get those off?

friend: i have an electronic car remote that when i hit the unlock button they shoot off my feet

gaper: really!?

friend: yea of course

gaper: sick! (gets on the lift)
 
so can someone please catch me up waat in the poop is a gaper. is it one of those crazy hooligans with way to big of jackets and pants with those double tipped skis?
 
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