Take Down Kony! JK lets masturbate instead..

jason pulls out pictures and sits down next to his two year old son. He places the pictures side to side on the table

Son: Who is this?

Jason: That's daddy in his underwear with a rager, hitting a Buick with a baseball bat... okay?

Son: No response, sad face

Jason: I couldn't explain to Gavin the details of what daddy really does. Because the truth is, Daddy likes to masturbate in the public, vandalize cars, do drugs and make vanity videos about Kony.
 
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Actually feel pretty bad for this guy. Like I'm sure he's means to do well but clearly has some mental issues or maybe was just under a lot of pressure.

Let he who has not masturbated in public cast the first stone.
 
I'm sure once all the facts come out they'll be a perfectly reasonable explanation of why he was masturbating in public.
 
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