Stupidest thing you have said to a girl/guy

driving in my jeep (top down, doors off) these girls were driving next to me and couldn't get into the lane so I heard "AHH! Why can't I get into the damn lane!" and without realizing that doors were off and top was down, I yelled "Because you're ugly!" and they all turned and stared at me. They were so sad.
 
started talking "whale" to this fat chick

(like that fish from finding nemo does when it talks to the whales)
 
one girl asked me if i would make her at hat and when i said no, she aksed why, without thinkiing i said, because your an ugly bitch. She laughed, im glad she didnt kick me betweent he legs
 
my bad. i may have actually said: hi im mr. id like to fuck you. she actually responed quite well considering she was 19 or so and i was 15 at the time and running around in only wet boxers (i had just had a spa.) the night ended with 6 absinth shots and me puking my guts out. good times
 
aight aight dis is a good one. so i was at dis party and i wanted to get wit dis girl calld amber. so i be mackin you know playin tha game gettin her all ready and shit. so i'm just about to make tha move and move tha girl to tha next room and put my love makin to work when all of a suden her muthafuckin can jumps on tha sofa and i sneeze tha bigest sneez i ever done in tha lyfe.i sneez all over tha bitchs face and she covered in at least a galon of saliva and snot. well i guess i didnt really say nothin but my actions spoke louda than my words if you get my meanin. stupid thing to have happen but it wadnt realy my fault. stupid cat ruined tha eveinin.
 
in that case, you're story was actually really funny. I would have died if you blew snot all over a girl and I saw it. Well done sir.
 
Hahah,me too.

One time when i was at a party and really drunk. I lay down too sleep on the couch.Then this really hot chick came over to me and asked "I'm afraid of the dark,can I sleep with you?" Since I was so tired and drunk,I replied"Nah,I'll sleep alone" Then i woke up six hours later or so,and was just like:"Nooooo,what have I done!"
 
if it was real absinthe then it was 180 proof, and 6 shots of that is basically like 12-15 shots of anything else. plus it would have wormwood which could potentially screw with your head alot. but anyways.

on a date at a restaurant, staring off a bit:

her) what are you staring at?

me) that girl has a really nice ass. .. oh shit.
 
i was in this hot tub with this chick, wasted and she was a virgin and didnt wanna fuck so i said that id take any hole she gave me at that point. she hit me in the face
 
it was the first time me doing it and after 20 min i didn't came and i dont know if im the only one but that shit gotto comme out cause you feel akward so i ask can you finish your job gimme head lol
 
well, if you do ever say that and she replies..."give me the butter baby, give me the butter," you know she's a keeper
 
true that...guys dont like nice cars...girls like nice cars and guys use the cars for bait...also...guys dont like comfy shit in his house...girls like comfy shit ....if a guy could fuck a girl in a cardboard box..they wouldnt even buy a house.....

dave?
 
basically i got stared down and went to the bathroom, came back and said my bad, and it was all good.
 
if its the real shit from eastern europe, not something you buy in a grocery store here, then it is 90. otherwise its jsut like regular alchohol with green dye in it basically.
 
i was cookin dinner and my older brother had this super skinny tiny girl over, well when she asked what we were having, me being an idiot said whats it matter your just going to throw it up once we finish.

ive said many others. just cant remember them.
 
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