Stupid Stories

in school today i heard a joke that this kids grandpa said at the old fokes home. What does the doughboy see when he bends down?

Doughnuts.

If The women don't find you handsome... atleast they will find you handy

(Red Green)
 
i have this one story when i was 7 or 8 i was playin nijaturtles with my brother at one of the family friends house... he was the baby sitter.. and he picked me up and threw me down, which had fractured my arm... i whined for about 5 mins then shut up and watched TV... the next day at school i fell off my chair and broke the arm fully... thats kinda a stupid story.... or this summer i was playing normal nintendo and sliced open my wrist cause i fell down... noone beleves me when i tell this story

TheSaying Around Here Is:

Go Big Or Go HOME

 
when i was little one time i had a babysitter.. and a bunch of the neighborhood kids were over at my house and we were all playing tag in the back yard. i was chasing this one kid and he fell. his foot came up and knocked a couple teeth out. luckily they were baby teeth... but my mouth was all bloody and i was crying. suffice it to say, that babysitter never came back.

-katie
 
'so i was driving into school today, and i parked, and my car started ROLLING away! then after freaking out i realized it was in nuetral! whooopsie!' --some girl walking in front of me in the hall the other day--

~*Michelle

'If you tell the truth, you dont have to remember anything'

roundtop riders '05
 
there was this one time when my friend ran into our cloths line. It was dark and we were running because we through a gas bomb into a fire!!

 
the day before my first day of kindergarden, i was using a little toy chair as a walker, i fell on the tar and knocked out my front teeth, they only grew back in 3rd grade

'Ever been hit in the head with a golf ball?'

-JF Cusson, making the argument that golf is an extreme sport

 
^are you joking? because they are definitely talking about how you put lots of punctuation at the end of sentences. for example. Omg!!!!!!!!

~*Michelle

'If you tell the truth, you dont have to remember anything'

roundtop riders '05
 
we lit off fireworks in the streets at like 2:30-3:00 am and we were running ome and this guy sticks his head out of his window and says 'get the hell out of here you little shits!' we almost pissed ourselves and started running even faster back to my house and i ran into a big black harp hanging from a tree and it was the perfect height to knowck me on my back. when we got back to my house we were im my tent and there were about 4-5 cruisers going around my block with spotlights and their flashers on. we heard some cops walkie talkie who was walking through a yard. we were amazed that we didnt get caught. it was amazing

i had something funny to say but i forgot it.

Rideeast

picture gallery
 
^^ you almost shit urself cus i guy yelled at you? well my friend had 4 black men cus him out cus he was lying in the road.

Get a free ipod, its pretty easy.

click here
 
me and a couple of friends were driving through this town that is sort of sketchy. It was a bad part of town to be in. We were stopped at a stop light when we see this group of black people walking on the sidewalk. One of the black guy's earlobes were pretty messed up. They hung down a lot. So my friend just starts staring at them. He is lo0oking at this guy for like 30 seconds straight. One of the other black guys with him said something like, 'what the fuck you looking at?' My friend just sat there in the front seat and stared straight ahaed of him. He was terrified. Needless to say as soon as the light turned green we got out of there really quickly

********************************************************************

Grandmaster CT Skiers

'i am smarter than the average indivitual'-D-Loc AKA 'I'm the coolest'
 
oh shit i forot the funniest story i know. me and lineskier10 and another kid were driving around trying to pick up this guy Tom, who is also on this site. Tom lived in Bristol CT which is roughly about a half hour away from where we live in Glastonbury CT. We weren't rerally familiar with the town at all and we needed directions to tom's house so we call him up and ask how to get to his house. He tells us the directions but we can't find ther house for a couple of reasons, 1. it was dark out and tom didn't give us the best directions, and 2. We were all really baked, we smoked 2 big bowls of dank before we left. So we are pretty much aimlessly driving around wicked blazed having no idea where we are. We try to get on the highway, and completely out of no where this black guy, running in full sprint on foot, cuts us off as we are pulling into the entrance ramp. He had to stiff arm the car as he jumped over it. Needless to say we were all tweaking out. We say that in his hand was a pistol and a brown paper bag full of something. We suspect some sort of drugs. He was obviously running from someone, possibly the police. We booked it so quick out of there and ended up at Tom's house within another 154 minutes

********************************************************************

Grandmaster CT Skiers

'i am smarter than the average indivitual'-D-Loc AKA 'I'm the coolest'
 
*saw *15

********************************************************************

Grandmaster CT Skiers

'i am smarter than the average indivitual'-D-Loc AKA 'I'm the coolest'
 
i used to pee on the stairs when i was little

--------------------------------

drinking is always the answer. dog dies? have a drink. got a F on your math final? have a drink. hooked up with you moms aunt? have a drink.-cj

 
We were hucking rocks at a wasp nest at night and I was filming it in nightvision but then I turned the light on and the wasps came for the camera!! I got stung a couple times so I droped the camera and ran....came back in a minute to get it.

 
when i was 7 i jumped out of a running car. and had nothing but i cried a lot

*******************

PUNK'S NOT DEAD!

RAILS SUCK!

POWDER SKIING RULES!

DEATH TO SNOWBOARD-ERS!!

VOTE BUSH!!
 
One day we were driving around and were throwing snowballs out the car at people......this one guy we through it at got mad and started to kick the snow........why would he do that I dont know?

SMOKE WEED EVERY DAY

420
 
^AWESOME FUCKING STORY

'Idle hands spend time at the genitals, and you know how much God hates that' - Ol' Drippy
 
because black people are crazy and they all smoke crack and carry guns, like the black guy i almost hit

--------------------

HIGH NORTH SESSION 4

The Hot Sauce Champion of the World
 
ya it would be a stupid story if if it was just some random dude, the fact that hes black makes it so much sketchier

********************************************************************

Grandmaster CT Skiers

'i am smarter than the average indivitual'-D-Loc AKA 'I'm the coolest'
 
When I was little, I made my babysitter piss himself. I made Him break a light. I once made him say the F-word too. And one time, I dropped a rock on his foot and he cried.

do the chickens have large talons?
 
One time, I came downstairs to get myself a glass of water. I looked in the Kitchen and I saw Hosehead, and he was making, get this, he was making a coffee sandwich. I mean he had to slices of bread all buttered up, and he had a pot of coffee. Then he poured the coffee all over the sandwhich. He took one bite out of it, AND HE PUKED!!! I LAUGHED SO HARD I ALMOST DIED!

***************

Chiggah Represent
 
It was the day before my birthday and i got a box in the mail so i was all excitied. It was about a half foot wide at the top. And i was holding the farthest corner away from me, on the left side with my left hand, and cutting it open on the right side with a jacknife. The jacknife was dull and somehow it managed to go through all that and cut a 2 inch cut across the top of my thumb and split the tendon in half. I had to run downstairs with my bleeding hand and have my dad rush me to the ER. The worst were the 7 pain killer shots, the 19 stiches weren't too bad. I didn't get blood on the carpet though!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Your not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on

Cleavage(n.): Something that can be looked down on and approved of at the same time.
 
Hmm a present from my aunt...some clothes i think. Not quite worth it really...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Your not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on

Cleavage(n.): Something that can be looked down on and approved of at the same time.
 
When I was 5, I had the genious Idea that when I was skiing, if I peed my pants, it would warm me up. It froze my dong to my leg.

V-TOWN Bitches!
 
i was a party in the woods and this girl came and got drunk, my friend tried to hook up with her, then they left, i was really baked so i went to sleep before all of them, so that girl calls the cops saying she was raped, the cops come while im asleep the cops pick up three of my friends and take them downtown while im sleeping in a baked daze, wake up at 6 and walk 2 miles to my house

 
when i was little i never liked eating my chewable vitamin... so i would always eat them last after breakfast, and run up to my room and spit them in the trashcan. well my mom went to empty the trashcan and she found all these vitamins in my trashcan... i got in trouble.

~*Michelle

'If you tell the truth, you dont have to remember anything'

roundtop riders '05
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top