random woman jokes

Q How many babies doesi t take to wallpaper a bath room?

A Depends how thin you slice them

Q How did Helen Keller go insane?

A She tried to read a stucco wall

Q How can you be sure Helen Keller will keep a secret?

A Break her fingers

Q How did helen keller's parents punish her?

A They glued doornobs to the walls

If Helen Keller falls in the forest and theres no one there to hear her does she still make a sound?

Q If helen keller was psychic would she have a third sense?

Q Y does helen keller only use one hand to masturbate?

A Because she needs the other one to moan
 
Whats the worst part about raping a five year old?

Getting blood on your clown suit

Wat sound does a baby make in the blender?

I don't know either, I was to busy jerking off
 
What is the difference between a womans head and a golfball.

There isnt one you hit them both with golf clubs extremely hard as they sit on a tee
 
this is retarded, ripping dead babies off of trees that they have been stapled to is not as bad a calling a black shit? Blacks are not helpless, babies are.
 
why ddid michael jackson go to walmart?

because he heard the childrens clothes were half off

why does michael jackson like mcdonalds

because, like him, they enjoy sticking their aged meat into 5 year old buns
 
wow those were so unbelievably funny

it's more like...why was teh girl hung, because she was an pmsridden whore

the first one is right

how conme men never sink in water? because they have things called athletic ability and don't suck at everydamn thing they do except cooking
 
Q. Why haven't they sent any women to the moon?

A. Because it doesn't need cleaning yet

How long does it take a woman to clean the toilet?

Who cares, as long as dinner is on the table by 6.
 
now why would you do that, Ira? Why is it that you can make fun of everyone but jewist people? You actually said you liked the dead baby jokes. Are dead babies a lesser evil than dead jews? There have been tons of black jokes and you don't see them threating to shoot anybody on the eye. There were man jokes, but you don't see me getting all girly about it just cause I am one. They're jokes for fuck's sake, get over it. Just like Arnold Schwartzenegger films, don't confuse them with real life. I have absolutely nothing against jewish people, or blacks, or mexicans.

And about the whole eye-shooting bidness, I don't think it would be very kosher, now would it?
 
wut do monica lewinski and a soda machine have in common?

they both have a sticker that say insert bill here
 
some of these may have been said. im pretty sure ive offened everyone here equally

-how are women and hurricanes alike?

-they come in wet and wild but when they leave they have your house and your car.

-why is there no mexican olympic team?

-becuase all the beaners who can run, jump and swim have already crossed the border

-what do mexican and sperm have in common

-one in a billion works

-why dont old men eat out old women?

-have you ever tried peeling apart a grilled cheese sandwich?

-what did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend

-wiped his ass

-what do you do when u see a black guy with half a head?

-stop laughing and reload

-what is the most confusing day in harlem?

-fathers day
 
Q: What's the difference between a jew and a pizza?

A: A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven!

Q: Why is a Black mans eyes always red after sex?

A: From the mace

Q: What's a pedophile's favorite part of a hockey game?

A: Before the First Period.

Q: What did Dodi Al-Fayed say to his driver the morning before the crash?

A: Do you want to go out with me and Di tonight?
 
dont know if this has been posted, i dont feel like reading them all

-how many black people does it take to clean a toilet?

-none, thats a womans job.
 
what the difference between a shopping cart and micheal jackson

a shoping cart carries grocery's

micheal jackson fucks little boys
 
did you know hellen keller had a playground in her backyard?

Neither did she

Why did hellen keller's dog kill itself?

You would too if your name was duarhe?
 
not sure if any of these have been listed...if they have sry

-whats long and black?

-the unemployment line

-whats faster than a black guy running down the street with your tv?

-his little brother with the vcr

-thers a black guy and a mexican in a car, whos driving?

-the cop

what do you call 10 000 white people running down a hill? - avalanch

what do you call 10 000 mexicans running down a hill? - mudslide

what do you call 10 000 black people running down a hill? - jail break

-what do you call 10 000 mexicans jumping out of a plane?

-air pollution
 
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