REAL LIFE TESTIMONIALS:
"Not using poles has increased the vigor and excitement of that certain something for me, I would recommend it to anyone!"
"I heard about it from a friend, and I'm currently doing it. Its resulted in increased power and performance, if you know what I mean."
"The biggest results happened on the fourth day. It increased everything, I cant believe it!"
Women should not attempt to go no poles. Do not attempt to drop poles without sufficient skill and training. Talk to your doctor if you experience any loss of dexterity in the hands, feet or eyelids. No poles is not recommended for people with low blood pressure, a history of heart disease, psychosis, or douchebagging. Side effects can include looking like a tool, being called emo and flaming on certain ski websites. If you experience any of the above symptoms while attempting no poles, seek out long sharp implements to hold immediately. Do not use in combination with Hellbents and this years Oakley or Sessions, as this can cause issues of mistaken identity and/or becoming an absolute pro ho.