Most embarrasing thing you have ever said to you parents

this is similair to collgan's:

back in highschool, i was dating this girl from my school. We started dating when her parents were on vacation, over the next two weeks while they were away.....well I was over at her house a lot. And she had this great dog, who I love and used to wrestle. THe day her parents get back she hadnt told me, so I;m over, watching TV or something. And as I get to meet her dad, whos already wondering what the fuck this random kid is doing in his house, the dog comes up, and without thinking I say "down bassie", and down she sits, perfectly obedient. And her dad just looks at me...and he knows. he knows.

Betrayed by mans best friend.
 
man i got this shit man i was at my girlfriends basement yay her mom was out and her bro ans sis were out too so we were homealone...so just imagine we on her basement couch and all of a sudden her bro comes home and walks into the basement oh shit that shit was awkward around him for awhile lol
 
yo brian (bb1337) the other day when we were blazed in adaras basement it was really awkward when her mom and brother was chilling with us for like an hour
 
AHHHH LOUD NOISES!!

THE STORY WAS JUST THAT GOOD THE N00B HAD TO PUT IT IN ALL CAPS!!

That was a bad one too for some reason. And I don't beleive you.
 
so this was about a year ago, i was on top of my girlfriend makin out, when lo and behold my dad storms into the room and he's all like "whats going on here" and im all like "dad im busy, privacy please" so he walks out and leaves us alone. but it totally killed the mood, and she ended up going home.
 
Caps Lock: Cruise control to cool.

One time I came home from a party and it was like... I donno... 4AM? And my rentals were upstairs sleeping so I was all excited, because I wouldnt have to deal with their questions / getting busted...

So I go to my room and realize I really need to take a piss, so I go to the bathroom and but I'm too drunk to really stand up that well, so as I'm going I keep falling forward and bumping my head against the wall, which is shared with my parents' room...

My dad comes over and asks if I'm having any trouble... I say "No" but I don't wanna come out because he'd instantly realize I'm drunk... So I just kinda stay in there for awhile and he's like "Andrew, what the hell are you doing in there?" And I just tell him I'm taking a shit... finally he says "Son, are you masturbating in there?"

Well as embarrassing as it was, I'd rather him think that than know I had eleven shots of vodka and two beers... So I just kinda said "Uhm... yeah... a little."

Breakfast next day: Hell.
 
ive had a bunch of stupid shit happen to me when i was like 5 trying to pimp little girls.

one was when i was naked in a tent w/ the girl who lived across the road form me at like 6 at night when all my brothers firends were over to play manhunt and my brother just walks in to hide, looks at me, runs inside and tells my mom. then like 2 weeks ago i saw the chick again for the first time in 8 years adn shes fat / ugly.

then another time was my dads best friends would always bring her daughter over and we would go into my sisters room (no idea why) get naked, and close our eyes, touch them somewhere and kiss whereever we touched (i alwayes cheated and went to the cooch)then one day we were doing it and we heard someone coming up the stairs. i didnt have enought time to put my pants onso i just layed them over me and hid beside my sis bed, idk where the other chick hid but my dad walks in, finds her, and then found me.

tehn another time i tried comvincing my best firends sister to give me head (she was like 4, i was 6) even thoguh i had no idea what it was. then later her mom called my mom telling her what we did. and my mom talked to me about it. that sucked.

then about a year ago i walked into my room, that where the comp in my hosue was and i saw my dad watching porn. he said somethign like ohh this shit is terrible and he was on chapter 11 out of 15 ro something. then about 2 weeks later he walked in on me watching it and hes like uhh tell me when ur done and walked away.

then i took the vid and hid it under my bed anfd forgot it was there. like 2 weeks later he asked me if i know where his video was and i said no casue i ofrgot i put it there. then the next day he was taking off my mattress casue he was moving into my room and i was going into another room and the porn was there so i just slid it under my mattres, pretending to fall out of my chair and hes like ohh thats where it went u little shit. then my name was peter pervert for the next 3 weeks.

then a couple moonths before that i went into his room to get the the dvd and as i went into his drawer, i heard him get up so i jsut threw it into the drawer, not putting it back in the case and on top of everyhting. the next morining he was pissed and he said he wasnt gonna pay me my reportcard money or he wasnt gonna bring me sking that day. i decided to go skiing.

theres prob more but i forgot them all
 
and i jsut realized maybe thatts the reason why ive never had a real girlfriend yet (im in 8th grade)
 
I was about 8 when jay-z's big pimpin video came out. We were ate dinner and my little sister was bobbing her head so i started saying BIG PIMPING not knowing what it meant. My brother, dad and stepmom just stared at me. I got a talk about pimping that night. I had to sit through the rest of dinner too.
 
one time i tried to choke the housecleaner (a 30-40 year old lady from the Philipines) and she called my mom. It became very akwerd when she started telling my mom all the shit i've evry done and the whole time i was like: "how the heck did you know that".
 
then again all the hott girls in my school are madd ditsy and annoying and the cool girls are usually ugly. y cant there just be a happy medium
 
ok when i was like 5 or 6 years old right. i was taking a shit. and my mom was in the other room. while i was taking a shit i noticed my testicles had little hairs on them. so i freaked out and called my mom in and was like mom why do i have hair on my balls. it wasnt embarrasing at the time but now...
 
i was reading a post about when he had to tell his parents he was gay. well in school yesterday some girl wrote a heart on my hand and wrote somethin inside it. so i got home nad was on the comp and my dad came in my room and saw the heart. so he was like wats that. and i thought he was joking around but my dads a dickhole so i was like yea my friend joe wrote it im gay. kidding around. and my dad gets mad so im likee wat dad u dont support me. so he walks away and comes back 5 min later. and started screaming at me and after im like dad are u serious im not a fag. i cant believe ur serious. (i was thinking jesus christ a jackoff to girl porno everyday)
 
back in the day, a friend of mine thought guys were supposed to have 3 balls so he got all scared and asked his mom. funny shit. he gets so pissed if i mention it
 
i forgot to tell u about my dad like two weeks ago found a vibrator in my desk. the vibrator is actually this hot ass girls who left it at my hosue by accident
 
dude, no offence, but your dad is such a biggot, i mean like he should have supported your fake comming out instead of getting pissed
 
so when i was 8-9 about i slept walked and talked not as much anymore but 8-9 years old i was at a sleepover and we went to sleep i slept walked into my friends parents room go to her corner wip out my penis and was about to pee his mom saw me and led me to the bathroom where i peed im still asleep and she leads me back to bed where i sleep the rest of the night. i was the last one to wake up and my friends mom told him what happened so i had to hear about it all breakfeast cus i didnt know it happened untill my friend told me.
 
well this wasn't embaressing for me but this girl in my school got really drunk at a party, so drunk she shit herself in front of everyone...

Her name is britney but now us guys call her shitney and party pooper

and the weird thing is she is really hot...or was...
 
Soooo... (this is long)

I was home from college (freshman year) and I was packing a bunch of sweaters/jackets warm clothes and unloading a bunch of summer closes in my room at my parents house.

Low and behold, my trusty vibrator is in the bottom drawer with all my sweaters - my ex boyfriend from HS had bought it for me and was like, here, use it when we're not together while you're in college, he did this in front of his 'rents and they thought it was hysterical (damn hippies) and so in spite of him I LEFT it at home.

Anyway, I'm holding it and my mom calls me and I'm thinking, oh shit! set it on the bed, throw a sweater over it, wander out of my room to see what she wants.

I go out with friends from HS that day, hanging out, come back home about 7 or 8pm. My dad is a little upset with me as I'm walking in the door, asking if I left my bathroom door open because our puppy got a shampoo bottle and he could have gotten sick and I'm like, uhh, I'm sorry dad, and then HE PROCEEDS TO TELL ME OUR PUPPY ALSO FOUND MY VIBRATOR and RETRIEVED it for my dad.

Now it's hilarous but at the time, we're talking beet-red mortified and I totally wound up explaining the whole story.
 
this is the only time ive been kinda embarresed, i was back from school over winter break and my 3 yr old brother had gotten up in the middle of the night and was crying cause he had a nightmare and i was trying to sleep causei had to work/ski the niext day, my parents werent really doing anything cause you cant give in to a 3 yr old cause it teaches tham that they can get what they want,so i get up outta bed and walk acroos the hall to where my parents are in front of his door, and im like "shut the fuckin kid the fuck up!" and walk back to bed and fallasleep. the next morn at breakfast my dad was like christopher, you remember what you said last night and i did and he jsut laughed, it was awkward cause thats the first time i had said fuck to/reaklly close to my p's.
 
Well...my mother had a friend...this woman was 35...I had to say my mom that her friend wanted to pay me 4 having sex with her...I wonn't tell u how my mom reacted!!! but it was really bad!!!
 
i was like in sixth grade and my sister said i sucked so i told her she swallowed right i front of my parents. i played dumb and got out of it
 
one night i came home toasted and was throwing up, my mom came to the bath room door and asked me if id been drinking, I said no, then see asked my why Iwas sick, I said I got the flu from eating tacos at lunch.
 
not embarrasing for me, but when we were kids one of my friends said "hey guys, my mom just gave me a massage, and my dick got hard."

he hates it when we bring it up, which is often.
 
there was this bigass party rite, and this chick was hammered prety bad that her dad had to come pick her up, he arrived at the party and carried her to his car and everyone at the party was watchin and his dad threw her over his shoulder and her ass was near his face, she shit herself so bad when her dad picked her up it went like through her pants and on her dads face, she was so embaraced she had to transfer schools
 
one school day morning i slept a little too late and my mom runs into my room, yells at me to get up and i say no. she then rippes my covers off , the problem was that it was really hot that night so i was sleeping naked, also i had serious morning wood. when she saw me naked with a boner she yelled "holy shit" and ran out of the room. we have both never talked about it since.
 
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