Most embarrasing thing you have ever said to you parents

not for me but for a friend of mine.

Mom: Why does luke wear his pants so low?

Friend: Because he likes to get butt fucked.

Mom: what did u just say?

i lol'd for so long when he said this
 
I told my mom my brother sags his pants because he wants to get buttfucked.... Im normally pretty good,, and it was by far the most shocking thing ive said to her, other than calling her a bitch when I was in the 3rd or 4th grade.
 
when i was a young lad, i was watching a commercial on tv with my mom and one on womens birthcontrol came on. my mom turned to me and asked me if i knew what birth control was and i was like "You mean condiments?" and she just told me that condiments are what you put on your hamburger and condoms are what you put on your penis. haha
my parents still give me shit about it
 
my friend got a tic on his dick. so he had to rub his dick in front of his parents with rubbing alcohol to try and get the tic off. Basically he was forced against his will to get it off in in front of his parents
 
When I was 4 or 5 I was at my Cottage with my entire family (aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents) and I was trying to take a leak but couldn't. So I walk out of the bathroom and say "mom, dad, I can't pee!" they asked why and I replied "My pee pee is up like a crane and I can't go." Everyone burst out laughing and I didn't know why.
 
So i was like 5 i think and it was christmas eve so my mom, dad and 2 bros and my sister were in the car all of them older then me. Anyway, I Said "dad Why does my penis get bigger?" I just remember both my bros like face palming it.
 
wasnt with my parents, but i went to vegas not too long ago and bought a shirt that said "Girls Direct to your room in 20 minutes..." followed by a phone number. i was wearing the shirt under a flannel, but it caught the wind as i walked by somebody's mom who i barely knew. she stopped me and asked to read my shirt. it was real awkward for a minute and i walked away without saying another word.
 
I'm only halfway through this thread but I feel like this is an appropriate place to tell some stories

I'll start off with one my dad will never let me down for. I'm 3 or 4 years old and I get my first boner. As my dad tells me, I proceed to run crying to my mom saying "Mommy, my peepee is broken!"

I went to a cunninlynguist concert a few months ago and my mom asked who I went to see. Trying to avoid an awkward moment I say "I'm going to the lynguists" My mom says "Oh, I thiink I've heard of them" My friend then says "But have you heard of the Cunninlynguists" I then get a couple weird stares and a couple minutes of silence from my mom
 
Me- "Mom can i have one of these Mike's Hard Lemonaide"
Mom- "No of coarse not!"
Me- "not like i havent drank before"
Mom- "WHAT?!?!?!"
Me- "AHHW SHIT!!!!"

Pretty Epic Embarassing
 
I just had an interesting/weird moment happen.

I'm just heading off for bed and I go to the bath room to take a pee. Just when I'm gettin started, my dad walks up behind me and says "Move over will, I gotta take a leak." So here we are, father and son crossing streams and pissing at the same time

Another could have been potentially awkward situtation. Not my parents but my friends. It was new years eve and me and this girl are cuddling and hooking up on the floor of my friends living room. At about six in the morning, my friends mom is up and comes in the living room. This girl is litterally on top of me. In my groggy state, I pull the blanket over or heads and wait. My friends mom had come to get the dog to go outside. Theis dog was climbing over everything, us included. I have no Idea how my friends mom didn't notice two people spooning in the middle of the floor with a dog climbing all over us
 
ive got one

-Hey ryan, do you think you could do what the're doing?

-who the cheerleaders doing the spilts in the air? no, probably not comfortably

-i meant the guy holding her up

-oh...shit

 
One time when i had just turned 6 I went to get the mail. In the mailbox I find this slimy thing that looked weird. My mom barely managed to get it away from my when I ran in to the house showing her the coolest "balloon" ever, and trying to blow it up.

Then she said: That balloon is already used
 
Once I was in PE class and I started getting a huge cramp in my leg. I asked my PE teacher if I could sit out because I had a CAMEL TOE (I meant Charlie Horse)... I explained to the teacher "I've been trying to massage the camel toe forever and it still hurts!" my teacher stood there looking confused and kinda disgusted. I'm like "yeah it's like pinching me I can't get the camel toe to go away!" He let me sit out but glanced at me really weirdly every 5 seconds and kept looking at my crotch. I realized what I said about 5 hours later when it was too late :( 7th grade.
 
not me but my english teacher (surprisingly)
One time when he was 5, him and his friends were playing roots (not knowing what its was at the time). His mom calls out "Justin, time for dinner." He then replies, "Shut up, you stupid nigger!" She then proceeded to smack him/wash his mouth out with soap. Pretty damn offensive.
 
No clue exactly what i said but a got some shot for my broken arm that blacked me out but i was still conscious and when i came to all my mom said was, " i didn't know you knew so many cuss words."
 
I never really had any embarrassing conversations with my parents other then when my mom confronted me about the kleenex that she had to scrape off of the wall because I missed the trash can when throwing it in. She knew it wasn't a booger
 
images
 
When I was at my friends birthday party in pre-school, I called his mom big fat asshole. (It just slipped out (no homo).)
 
I was blazed the fuck out. dad picked me up around 12 from a friends house. then i kept on asking him what was for dessert and talking about different desserts and how i like them.
 
thats nothing. i have a huge pile of kleenex next to my bed. sometimes they wash the sheets (i know but whatever, im in highschool) and they tell me to throw away the kleenex. when it first started happening, they would say "is your nose getting bad at night? you seem fine during the day" and it keeps happening.

i think they know what's up
 
Once, I was talking to my mom about my report on organisms, and accidently said ORGASMS, and my face turned red and she goes what?!?!! and I go, "organisms mom, don't you know what those are?" pretty awkward...
 
must've been 5 or something. i meant to ask my my mom what circumstances were, i guess i must've had trouble pronouncing complex words at that time. i was then told why some kids have turtle-necks on their peepees and i don't.
 
one time when my grandparents were over for dinner when i was like 9, my 5 year old sister locked me out of our house completely. i really wanted to get back in and she had locked every single door, so i called her a bitch through a window.
she went in and told my parents, with my grandfather right there. he basically didnt say anything to me for the rest of the night.
 
this isnt something i said but someting my mom did.
So we were in vermont over the summer with a bunch of friends and mom and her friends were WASTED! she was some how convinced that we were making her levitate and that her feel were touching the ceiling. she then begged us for 5 minutes to put her down. she was sitting in a table. my friend got it all on video it was hilarious! we never let her live it down.
 
When I was like 3 or 4, I was at the pool with my mom. Since i was so young, I changed in the ladies' room with her. I went to one of the stall's and went to the bathroom (all by my fucking self), then came out feeling like a million bucks. So an older lady comes up to me, says "wow you are a big boy going to the potty all by yourself!"

So I say, "Yep, and I have a big penis too!"

I don't know why I said it, but my mom loves tell that story.
 
This happens to my friend. So his field hockey coach(who is Jewish) drove my friend and his son(who is also Jewish). Well in the car ride to the game my friend decided to start telling some Jewish jokes(he had no clue they where Jewish). Well my friends coachs son had to tell him to stop and explain that they are Jewish.
 
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