Most embarrasing thing you have ever said to you parents

Paul-o-Rama

Paul-o-Rama

Active member
ok, i'll start. it was channukah time once again and as usual, my grandma, her mother-in-law, sent my mom some slinky sleeping wear. My mom turns to me and goes "hmm, i wonder why she always sends me slinky sleepwear." without even thinking, i say "maybe she wants some more grandchildren, OH FUCK, I didn't mean it" By that point my mom was laughing histerically. She never let me forget it.
 
Last year i was in a hurry to go out, and i asked my mom if she's seen my condoms by accident. I was so embarrassed. She wasn't happy either. I have no idea what i was thinking.
 
Something like

"NO mom, I swear I don't ever drink!"

And passing out a second later, right in front of her... Will never happen again though.
 
Nothin embarasses me with my parents , but my girlfriends mom byu's me condoms and shit.. very embarassing but its cool at the same time.
 
i told a joke that ended with the term " a blowjob" when i was about 10, infront of my parents, my aunt, and my aunts co-worker. i understood the joke, but after that i just prettended like i just heard it from a freind and didnt know what it ment
 
my mom asked why i was itching my head once and i told her it was probably from all those times i was having head sex by rubbing my head all over the place
 
I was imatating the part in Tommy boy at the dinner table where he says "want me to jerk you off" and me having no idea what jerk off was.
 
In second grade I told my mom that I had learned a new word at school that day. She goes "what was that?" And I was like you spell it F-U-C-K and she flipped a bitch. I never told her the kid that told me though, it was some redneck kid in my class.
 
haha. i have done that. just dropped the odd F bomb or S bomb at the dinner table...then be like. erm...hi im tim
 
a couple a years ago i had to get knocked out to get teeth pulled and when i woke up i was all out of it...i dont remember exactly what i said but i believe it was something like "oo man imagine what could happen if we got some chicks" on this or something along those lines
 
it was dinner and my parents asked me how my day went and i was blazed out of my mind and i say "day good" and they were like ugh what nd i reply "ive had to much to smoke" to make a short story long i was grounded for a month
 
maybe when i reinacted the part of austin powers "so what is it baby, spits or swallows?" yeah i had no idea
 
Well this isn't me, but my friend was over. And we were practicing for French right, just for the hell of it, we were stupid 9th graders then. But anyways, we were talking in French and my dad heard us say stuff. And he's like, how do u say good in French, my friend John's like, "bon." alright, so my dad's like, "how do u say gooder in French?" John's not htinking right away says, "Boner" oh man, so funny. I was on the ground laughing as well as my dad before John realized what he said.
 
haha thats great i had to read it twice to figure it out but damn i woulda never thought of that
 
^That wins right there. Im laughing me ass of just thinking of that. I have a friends whose dad I can imagine doing that perfectly.
 
hahaha, ya, my dad's a dentist and he always has these mad funny stories of what people say when they come out of anasteazia
 
Mom comes into room. Bong is sitting on TV. Big bag of weed on my bed. Three or four bottles of hard liquor strewn about the floor. "Do you have any discretion at all?" "Huh? Oh, that stuff. Um...well. I'm 18, I'll do what I want..." "Hmm. So you have all that weed and don't share? I thought you were my son.." "Do you want a nug?" "If you insist"

Then she just walked out with a fatty nug.
 
One time my mom walked into my room and i was flipping through the channels and i went to some "save africa" show. My mom says "what is this?" I reply "My favourite show" sarcastically. Just as I say that a few nude african women come onto the screen. My mom thought I was watching some african porno show.
 
ya either my mom walking in on me watching porn or stuff like that, or when i was like 8 some kid explained what anal sex was, i went home and asked if my mom has ever had it
 
Oh yeah, 3rd grade, my neighbor asked if I knew what a boner was. I of course didn't, and I was like tell me and he was like no its sooooo gross (he was the same age). I was like ok ill ask my mom and he was like NOOOO don't do that, don't ask her. I will talk with riley (another friend in the know) and we will see if we can tell you. Well against his advice, I asked my mom. She just gave me a blank look and denied all knowledge of knowing what a boner was.
 
i once was showing my mum how smart i am and i said "you know, if you look directly at an eclipse you can burn your rectum" wow, i hate dinner parties where that story is told now.
 
when i was growing up, there was a kid in the hood named dylan. now i was quite the youngen at the time not having any knowledge whatsoever of sexual toys. well my brother always called this kid dildo. so i started saying it. well one day my brother's like "goin to hang out with dylan" to my mom, and then i'm like "dildo dildo dildo dildo dildo dildo" and my mom just stared at me, coldly. and i was like "mommy? what's a dildo?" haha she pretended she didn't know and told me not to say that anymore
 
When i was about 8 my little sister who was 5 asked what opposite meant..

so i started listing off examples of opposites to her like day and night, hot and cold, etc and then i said virgins and non-virgins..

i can still picture the expression on my Mom's face when she heard that out of my mouth..
 
haha. Kinda the same for me, but not with my parents. In grade 6, history/geography class, we were studying egyptian culture, and 2 kids made me believe that it was some kind of egyptian artifact and made me ask the teacher what a dildo was. So in the middle of the class I went up to the teacher and asked what a dildo was. She just said come see me after class, and I saw those 2 kids laughing hysterically, and understood.
 
I called my dad a dick when I was 8, not realizing what it meant. That was the first time I tried to cover up something. "I meant Dick Tracy"
 
my mom caught me jackin in front of the computer like 5 years ago, I THINK it was 8thg grade and she was just like WTF and I said "So you just gunna sit and what or what GOD MOM?"
 
Well I was passed out wasted on our chair, and my parents came home and were like "what are you doing whats wrong with you" and I just told em "im fuckin wasted" not really thinkin because there were 2 other friends here playin games
 
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