Looking for a job?

[SFB]

look no further, i am looking for a personal slave to do my bidding. this includes: buying me food, breaking in dildos for me,making sure i dont eat too much glue, etc. let me know why you deserve this job, so post your resume, accomplishments, or your nudes. also you will be paid in trident layers.

 

[ebenezer]

become a coke mule.

 

[.FRY.]

I am 12 years old and my mom lets me sit in the front seat sometimes. my favorite skier is sean white. I also have a shit ton of nerf sharp shooters so don't mess with me. wanna know a secret? I know over 5 swear words, but don't tell my mom.

things I am good at:

pooping

eating

banging hp123's mom

cod

getting bitches

am I hired?

 

[frickindarn]

I am 12 years old and my mom lets me sit in the front seat sometimes. my favorite skier is sean white. I also have a shit ton of nerf sharp shooters so don't mess with me. wanna know a secret? I know over 5 swear words, but don't tell my mom.

things I am good at:

peeing

Throwing up

banging hp123's mom

Skate 3

getting bitches to cry

am I hired?

 

[.Rybak.]

Can I share my aidz with you? Pls

 

[SFB]

I am 12 years old and my mom lets me sit in the front seat sometimes. my favorite skier is sean white. I also have a shit ton of nerf sharp shooters so don't mess with me. wanna know a secret? I know over 5 swear words, but don't tell my mom.

things I am good at:

peeing

Throwing up

banging hp123's mom

Skate 3

getting bitches to cry

am I hired?

you are definitely a strong candidate

 

[.FRY.]

you are definitely a strong candidate

was my resume not good enough?

 

[SFB]

was my resume not good enough?

correct

 

[Brule.]

was my resume not good enough?

he should hire hp123 so that his mom will be all alone

 

[.FRY.]

he should hire hp123 so that his mom will be all alone

HP123 already has a job. he wipes my ass.

 

[ebenezer]

bro do u even wu tang is 4 tha children? do u?

 

[acualywasdolan]

^ he probly doesnt even

 

[.FRY.]

^ he probly doesnt even

"acualy" he does

 

[ebenezer]

get a job as a hooker

 

[270on420out]

Heyyyyy. Im Alex. I would rlly like this job. I was grapejuice3000's personal servant for 2 years. I own an arsenal of dragon dildos ranging from 3-17 inches. I also assist spagget in making places 2 sp00ky 4 u.

 

[frickindarn]

you are definitely a strong candidate

Cool boss. Looks like me and fry are your guys. No hetero.

 

[acualywasdolan]

Im black, you have to hire me or its discrimination and ill sue you, just like it happens every fucking day in america

 

[.MASSHOLE.]

My name, is yoski, i have experience in politics, skiing, journalism and pyro tenicits, i play the drums, the paino and the saxaphone, i speak english, spanish and liberian english fluently. i am courrently a freshman at harvard colege

All you should have put is you love cock. You would have won.

 

[nford]

My name is Ethiopia and I specialize in religion. I love praying in my free time, and wearing my Turban. One time, my family wanted to become atheist. I killed them for that. Incase you didn't know, religion is more important than ones life.

I feel I will need to kill anyone who does not specialize in my religion. If you do not convert, I will rape you. Then I will kill you.

 

[.undetected]

Threads like this remind me of why I hate SFB.

 

[op14]

Threads like this remind me of why I hate SFB.

The mans offering anyone on ns their dream job and you're bashing him.

Thank you Andrew for the offer, but I am already Hippy's personal dildo tester.

 

[SFB]

Threads like this remind me of why I hate SFB.

you're not getting the job shitlord.

 

[.undetected]

you're not getting the job shitlord.

Darn

 

[SquattingDog]

I would sen nudes but I lost my genitalia in an accident. I now resemble a Ken doll. Can I still get the job?

 

[frickindarn]

Who got the job?

 

[Scaredwhiteboy]

Dear sir,

Please consider me for your slave position. Below is a copy of my resume for you to peruse at your leisure

Thanks,

ScaredWhitey

Resume​

Name: Timid White Child

Birth Date: 07/25/2000

Height: 5’ 9”

Weight: 145 lbs

Hobbies: Skiing, Call of Duty

Bench Press Max: 135 lbs

K/D: 3.2

Skills: mowing the lawn, drawing penises

Software: Google Chrome, Microsoft Paint

Contact: Scaredwhiteboy@newschoolers.com

 

[.frenchy]

^ that's a shitty K/D. Not even enough to qualify for the job man

#NotEvenFaZe

 

[Jeebus.]

OP is an Über nurd and he urinates in his bed often.

 

[GayWolf420]

your and idiot, OP

 

[gRAPEFRUIT]

courrently

Congruently

 

[iSmokeweed]

i hit a hole in one in discgolf the other day.

and i went 2 days with out jerking off

 

[Espen519]

Hope you know Spanish becuase I'm "muy pan dulce"

Good at opening jars of jelly

Can hold breath for 5 seconds

Run a 50 minute mile

Deaf

Blind

Mute

Actually am a sloth

 

[CaptainObvious.]

i am courrently a freshman at harvard colege

Wanna know how I know you're lying?

 

[frickindarn]

Wanna know how I know you're lying?

Because it's summer break.

 

[SFB]

your and idiot, OP

you got yourself a job mister. congratulations

 

[milk_man]

Looks like I'm too late to get the job, right?

 

[Brule.]

you got yourself a job mister. congratulations

I guess HP123 wasn't good enough for the job.

 

[frickindarn]

So I inv didn't get the job? Or....

 

[Sno.]

I'm confused...are you getting another one, or am I fired?

 

[.Rybak.]

I'm confused...are you getting another one, or am I fired?

He realized that he couldnt compete with casey so youre fired.

 

[.FRY.]

ok boss sounds good. I'll be there tomorrow morning bright and early.

 

[frickindarn]

Just fire everyone and how fry and I.

 

[ModMommy]

I don't have cooties. Hire me.

 

[.FRY.]

Just fire everyone and how fry and I.

best idea i've heard today

 

[frickindarn]

I don't have cooties. Hire me.

Pink name. She's a liar. Everyone with a vagina has cooties. And adamant liar syndrome.

 

[Peter.]

>looking for a job

>a job

>job

>implying that working for you is a 'Job'

it would be an honor

 

[frickindarn]

>looking for a job

>a job

>job

>implying that working for you is a 'Job'

it would be an honor

Sorry man. Dibs.

 

[Bateman]

Everyone above me is just like a stick. But together, you form a mighty

who the fuck would work for SFB

 

[SquattingDog]

Everyone above me is just like a stick. But together, you form a mighty

who the fuck would work for SFB

I'd work for a pile of sticks as payment.

 

[SFB]

>looking for a job

>a job

>job

>implying that working for you is a 'Job'

it would be an honor

u can be my wife

 

[Byron_tha_gr8]

Things about me that make me employable

-no gag reflex

-top level tastes

-record fedora levels

-next level new era poll creating talent

-I'm black and Obama made it illegal not to hire me

-my peen is a respectable 4.77 inches long

-I hate mayonnaise

-hp123 and I just got done boning in his moms clothes.

-he has mommy issues, think arrested development.

-I collect my semen and feed it to the poor so they can know the taste of heaven.

-do the same with my poo

-I don't enjoy sunlight

-I'm gay so ur even more racist

-even if you hire me your still racist cus ur white and straight.

-I'm the mildly disputed greatest member on ns of all time.

-one of my balls is bigger than the other

-each of my dreads contains high levels of nug, you can puff puff pass each of them like a rolled up dabber.

If you don't pick me I'll rape ur little white bumhole.