Joke contest! whoevr can tell me the funniest Joke in a month gets a free prize

how do black women keep crime off the streets?

Abortion

How do you get black people off the streets?

Put a KFC on the sidewalk.

 
did you hear about the black guy on i95?

yeah he stuck his head out the window and his lips beat him to death

dun dun ch
 
Alright guys, stop it with the black jokes. Ive got a black guy in my family. and hes still hanging there!
 
It's black guy in my family tree you retard...

God if your going to be a racist bigot at least show some class.

for example....

How do you fit 1,000 JEWS into a volkswagon...?

Make them Mexican.

 
How many Sal Maskelas does it take to screw in a light bulb?

2: 1 to screw it in and the other to yell "Oh, look at the style and the amplitude. That style is amazing. The amplitude. The style!"
 
Whats small, hairy, unpredictable, and makes you want to cry and scream in terror at the same time.

a tiny penis.
 
Two muffins are sitting in an oven. One turns to the other and says, "Jeeze it's really starting to get hot in here hey?" The other says, "HOLY SHIT A TALKING MUFFIN!"

here's a long one....

Superman is flying around one day and is feeling kinda horny, so he stops by batman's house and sees him standing outside. He asks, "Hey batman buddy, i've been feeling a little lonely this past few days....do you know anyone who's really good in the bed??" Batman replies, "yeah well actually i've heard wonderwoman is really amazing actually, go see her." Superman says, "Well, i dunno, we've been really good friends and it'd be kinda weird, thanks though." And superman flies off again. Next, superman stops by spiderman's appartment. "Hey spidey buddy," he asks, "do you know anyone who's, you know, good in the bed? I'm feeling kinda restless and horny..." Spiderman says, "OH yeah dude, you gotta go check out wonderwoman, she's the best fuck i've had in my life! Unbelieveable!!!" Superman replies back, "Yeah that's what batman said. Buuuuuuttt, i dunno, she's a good friend, it'd be weird. Thanks though." and he flies off again. As he's flying around town, he sees wonderwoman lying stark naked on top of a building. Hmmmmm, maybe if i go in super fast with my super powers, she won't even know who or what happened..... So superman flys in and fucks wonderwoman with super speed and flies off again. "WOW that was the BEST sex i've EVER had!!!" Exclaims superman. Back on the roof, wonder woman says, "Whoa! What the fuck was that!!!???" Invisible man says, "Holy fuck i dunno, by jesus does my ass hurt."
 
a teacher is in a kindergarten class and is asking the kids wat animal is on the card she holds up. she holds up a picture of a fish. and billy says its a fish. She holds up a picture of a dog and sally says dog. then she holds a up a picture of a deer and no one knows, she said its sumthing your dad calls your momNick yells A DIRTY FUCKIN CUNT
 
Whats the best thing about raping a 4 year old girl?

Hearing her pelvis break.

Whats the worst thing about raping a 4 year old girl?

Getting her blood all over your clown suit.
 
if i win can you paypal me 91 cents USD? or 1.10 CDN. thats how much I'm short and dont want to wait 8 business days till more clears... or anyone?? please!!!! i'll pay ya back in 8 business days and give you 10/10!! lol im desperate.
 
Q: Why did the women cross the road

A: Why the hell was she out of the kitchen.

My girlfriend always calls me a pedophile I respond by saying "that's a pretty big word for a eight year old"
 
three men, Juan, Fidel, and Domingo, decide to see who can reach the ground the fastest when they jump off a cliff, who benefits?

Society
 
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No one thinks they'll run into Chuck Norris at their neighborhood Starbucks. Meth will change that.
 
Maybe a repost, I didn't read entire thread.

Why did Hellen Keller's dog run away?

Well how would you like it if your name was Aawreaweaea!
 
three guys get stranded in a small town. they go to a farmhouse and ask to stay the night. the farmer says yes but also says that he only has one extra bed so all 3 guys have to sleep together. so they all go to sleep.

The next morning the one of the guys on the outside of the bed is like....

"i had a dream that i was getting the best handjob of my life!"

the guy on the other outside says...

"i had that same dream!"

the guy in the middle says...

"really? i had a dream that i was skiing!"
 
a guy gets in a car accident. he ends up burning his legs very badly. when he is in the hospital the sheets touching his legs hurts very badly. the nurses didn't know what to do. it was a cold night so the guy needed the sheets to stay warm. then the doctor had an idea. he prescribed the guy with a prescription of Viagra.
 
three old ladies are sitting on a park bench when suddenly a man in a trench coat flashes them. two of the ladies have a stroke..... and one cant reach.
 
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