Im from the future.

rustulosis - infection of the foreskin due to heavy friction on rusty mechanical surface

annual chiffins - the GM plant material quota you are required to grow on your government alotment

wetstream currents - relating to the excess seawater of Antarctic origin that was pumped into solar orbit
 
My continued presence and active historical interference in this thread makes all subsequent results unique and future thread posts cannot be determined until current interference ceases.

Unfortunately, people were still posting and I was occasionally responding to this thread at the point that I left the future.
 
Baseball is included with football and all other sport statistics in bill:

H.R. 458437 [229th]: "Data Refresh: Human neuron conservation and memory format"

Such records were destroyed in all computers, organic and conventional, in an attempt to save the species from an escalating tide of epic bullshit to keep track of.
 
Yes, originally in an effort to curb high levels of seismic activity.

Now there is a pipe that runs from one side to the other. A string runs the length of it, and metal cans are connected to both ends.

If you are in St. Louis you can hold the can to your ear and listen to angry Chinese ranting for an average of 22 hours per day.
 
is photography still a lost art?

do dinosaurs come back to rule the world like how i dream?

is global warming real?

does pam mary jim?

does the us fall apart? if so whats that bad about it? because if it aint too bad i call dibs on living in montana.
 
Infinity to one.

Advanced AI computers contain autonomous computer subsets that work in concert to perform their function at visible level.

Due to the nature of fractal geometry, the number is unknown, but for our purposes it is infinate.
 
Holographic photography is the dominant medium.

Dinosaurs are alive but in highly guarded zoo-like containment, however, there have been a fe incidents.

yes

At multiple points in history has someone named Pam married someone named Jim.

The US economy collapses, and a North American Union rises in it's wake. Nothing too bad about it except that we are all paid wages similar to that in Mexico at in your time. Not quite that low, but close.
 
I'm going to listen to "Party all the Time" for about 9 seconds. I hear they had some sick parties back in 1999.

I will be back in a little bit.
 
I was gonna come in here and tell you how pissed i am at all your gay threads but wow im really impressed this time. What job will i have?
 
Im back, but I'm shitty drunk on some saki. I arrived at December 31, 1999 Japan after approximately 8.1 agonizing seconds of "Party Time". Started out pretty mellow with alotta people stressin bout some kinda Y2k disease, but I told everyone it'd be alright cause I was from the future and 1945 looks like it was alot worse. Things quickly got out of hand from there. A little asian hottie started rubbin up on me. She passed me a note, then started grabbin at my nuts. She had unusually strong hands, and I just wasn't feelin her for some reason. Here's the note she gave me on the cocktail napkin:

私はあなたに愛を作りたいと思う。私は私の陰茎を示す。それから私達はろばと懸命に性交する。

After witnessing what I could only describe as midget sex, I left the club in a hurry. I knew I had to get out of there, and I didn't want to hang around for 8.1 years to get back to your time. It took me another 20 minutes before I found a karaoke bar with some japanese homies thug enough to sing some party time in reverse for me, since my walkman doesn't seem to have that capacity.

Anyways, I'll get back to work. Forgive me, I keep having to go back in time to repair the drunken slurs I am typing.
 
Yes, the family is reunited once more for a group sex orgy, and Charlize Theron recieves an honorary Woody from the AVN for the hottest mainstream sex scene since Basic Instinct.

Fundamentalist Christians and Muslims unite to round up and execute the entire cast for their deeds, before turning on eachother.
 
No one will ever lick your balls, and you will be mostly unemployed throughout your life. However, it appears that you eventually have a giraffe tongue grafted into your mouth, and develop the ability to lick your own balls. gross
 
The fat people were forced to poop in the government crop alotments while they were still around, so yes, they were an indirect food source you could say. Fat people at the point I left were not very common though, as mentioned earlier.
 
Yes, but it is not some kind of virtual reality like portrayed in your movies.

It is an unnatural and unharmonious existance with nature that people take upon themselves without any thought to the contrary. It has been like this for so long that most people cannot imagine the alternative, and they do not even realize what they have lost.

There are rebels, but their persecution and attempted assimilation into society is an ongoing struggle waged by the establishment.
 
Transportation is largely the same in application, though pedestrian vehicles run entirely on solar power. Advanced solar cells capture energy from across the entire electromagnetic spectrum, instead of merely visible light. Of course military applications are far more advanced, and still classified, I will likely discuss them later in more detail. Some people still utilize old American internal combustion engines and pay $25 per mile to fuel them. They like how the rumblies make them feel in their nether regions.You have hover boards in your time, however the design has since been improved upon.

Pebecorn is the staple crop of our time. A comination of corn, beans, and peanuts, it is genetically modified to contain all essential micro/macronutrients including all essential amino acids. It also induces a paingasm upon overindulgance, so waste/obesity is rare. However, there is an underground sect/religion that claims that without daily paingasms, one is doomed to an 'eternal hell'. It is said that their ancestors once shopped at Walmart and watched vehicles make left turns for hours at a time. Most do not participate in the rituals themselves, yet openly harrass those around them for their 'abominations'.
 
Ah yes. Weed is still illegal, but the weed itself is not so important anymore.

The THC synthesis reaction has been perfected to the degree that it is now sold as a delicious whipped spread in a "I can't believe it's not chronic!" container. I enjoy it on bagels. It is imported from the South Americas, and sold at a rediculous mark up because of the risks involved in smuggling. Most everyone uses it from time to time, but the powers that be keep it illegal, and it keeps everyone looking over their shoulders for government surveilance.
 
The iSpork.

Spoon, fork, phone, DDRM music player, email, PDA, govt homing beacon, laser cutter, sunglasses, bikini top, jock strap, lawn chair, compact VW scooter, sex toy, gay sex toy, vacuum cleaner, leaf blower, personal stenographer, and hammer all in one convenient package.

Of course there are several competing products on the market that can do this and more for about 75% of the cost.
 
In the future....

ALL SPORTS STATISTICS AND RECORDS ARE WIPED FROM ALL DATABASES AFTER THE SEASON IS OVER!

If you are caught hording sports stats, they torture you extinsively, then when you are right about to die, they take you back in time and do it all over again! Government time travel technology is highly advanced and very predictable. They keep a tight leash on it so that these practices can theoretically continue forever.

Rogue travelers clog the pathways and hinder that process. Though there are other benefits to time travel, it feels good to help stick it to the man. Every so often a device like mine slips through the cracks, but usually the loophole is closed after some time. A new black market device pops up about a week afterwards.
 
He comes back every few years, but someone always ends up kicking his ass, or throwing him in jail, or crucifying him or something.

 
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