I went switch into a lift line and smoked a boarder chick …oops

Mattman

Mattman

Active member
Alright, last weekend when I was at Blackcomb and went switch going from the top of the Excalibur to the excelerator. Me thinking I was Mr. Hotshot thought I was so cool that I didn’t realize it was too late when some snowboarder came in and cut me off and I smoked her. The upside was that she was hot and was not hurt but the down side was that the line was 15+. Meaning there were like 50 people watching this. To add insult to injury my Dad yells at me “That’s one way to pick up Girls” while he was in the line up ahead. Any who, that my little story what’s yours?



So, what is your most embarrassing skiing accident that you have ever had?
 
I was trying to teach my mom to ski a couple years ago. We were all standing in the lift line and she just fell over, knocked me over and started this huge domino effect. God was that embarrassing.
 
well up at the hill my brother tells everyone, and i mean EVERYONE that i have 1 nut and a boob. then it turned into that i was originally a girl, and only got 1/2 a sex change.

also people say i turned down 3 blowjobs in 2 days... also not true.
 
your dad IS the man, that is soo funny.

as for me, there was this little ditch that you could jump out of right beside the lift, i go to hit it switch, turns out theres this big tube hidden under the snow, and i smoke it, go head over heels right by the busiest line. It was sweet.
 
I nailed a boarder going switch yesterday too, weird. I popped a 180 off this pillow and skied the rest of the run switch, and went over this little hill before the groomer. Some ASSHOLE was laying on his back in the 2 feet of fresh on the other side, I would have had no idea he was there even if I was going regular. WHO THE FUCK LAYS DOWN AT THE BOTTOM OF A RUN PEOPLE BOMB OUT OF? I clipped the side of his board and did a switch backflip onto the hardpack. When I get up the guy has a look on his face like he cant understand what the fuck just happened. HEY DUMBSHIT, YOU SAT IN A STUPID PLACE AND ALMOST GOT A SKI THROUGH YOUR HEAD. He didnt say shit, so I just asked if he was alright, and he nodded, so I skied off holding my sore ass.
 
so when i was out at steamboat last year we had this nice pow day and i was crusing down a line under the cairlift after we came out of glades. it was real flat so i was just cruising and jumping stuff on the side of the trail. about half way down i just start going pretty much straight to keep my speed up through the powder when all of a sudden this local snowboarder in a FAT LADY costume comes ripiing down and blind sides me as hes coming out of the trees. he totally T-boned me and we both fell over and slid a good 30-40 feet. so i get up and am like what the fuck! but at this point i hadnt seen that he had a fat lady suit on because i was caked with snow. so after i take my goggles off and look at him he looked so rediculous i couldnt help but laugh. his saggy boob from the costume actually got stuck in between his hat and his goggles so he couldnt see at the end of the run when he was coming out of the trees so apparently he was trying to stop and creamed me.

its a good story i guess... luckily i didnt get hurt though otherwise i would have been pissed.
 
i was ridinggetting on a chair last week at big white and there was a ski patrol guy witha sled coming soon so im ike whatever he'll get the next one, the lifty instructed me to come forward and when im almost at the place where you wait for the chair, he tells me tstop and go back. At this point im like wtf, i start going back, and then he tells me to come forward again! at this time i couldnt even avoid the chair. he tried to stop it but it didnt stop in time. it smokes me on the leg and i kinda lurch to the side. I lose my balance, start falling over slowly, grab some random to hold me up, realise it wasnt worth it and just fell over. i then got up and he told me to go back, and trhe ski patrol got on. i was pissed at this shitty lifty. all this while a line full of people onlooked.
 
Once I came ripping down from Symphony on Whistler on my Elizabeths and the lift line was near empty. I decided it would be cool to try and slide the snow sideways without edging as if it were a huge box (? yeah retarded I know ?). Anyways, much to my dismay, I ended up double ejecting and eating shit about 7 metres into the metal siding. Embarrassment was running high despite the small numbers of people who saw my blunder...
 
so i was jibbing and when i got to the landing there was a boarder standing there (typical) im going rly fast hes facing me prolly waiting 4 his frined or something my skis go in between his legs we hug roll over I END UP ON TOP OF HIM!!!! i was skiing by myself that day so i went on the singles line he did too we rode up the lift 2gethter by accident it was awkward he was like 14 haha
 
Beginning of last season I was at Mtn High and just getting the feel of the jumps they had set up, did a few runs and started hitting a few up top.

Anyway, most of Highs medium jumps are rollable, they have a smooth transition from the takeoff to the landing.

The next time I came to the bottom I went through the Playground. For those of you who dont know High, it is a small section of jumps and rails that they set up and change around all the time that is right at the bottom, in plane sight of three lift lines and the base.

That day they had a pretty big jump set up at the bottom of the playground, I was going to just hit it, but decided I would just roll it the first time to check it out. I realized it was a bad idea when I got to the top and saw that they had cut out like a step between the top of the takeoff and the reverse side. I wasn't going fast enough so I did a double tip plant, popped out and flew face first down the backside of the jump amid loud cheers and applause from the lifts.

To add to it, I creased one of the tips on my Silencers.
 
One time I had just gotten done doing a sw 1440, sw back, sw lincoln, rodeo 7 gap to down single barrel staircase, and I stepped out of my original k2 enemy and it shot down the hill at mammoth and exploded into a lift line, and shot lilke 15 feet in the air. it didn't hurt anyone, but my tricks hurt your mom.
 
at alyeska, there is a run in to our "Bubble Quad" (now without a bubble), was just chilln down the run in and made a dubm high decision to 180 at the bottom of the transition...this was right under the chair where it re-attaches. and i completely ate shit, just crossed my tails while going switch. kncked my hat and goggles like 20 feet. Fun Day...bit the shit outta my lip and tung.
 
A buddy and me were riding up the lift...It was one of the first runs of the morning so I was still a little groggy and not paying attention at all. I was just kinda swinging my legs back and forth when I felt one ski get stuck on something so I looked down. Turns out my ski had dug into the ramp leading up to where you have to get off the lift.

My friend had already left the lift, but I wasn't so lucky. I couldn't get my leg out from under the chair so it slowly dragged my ass off of the chair and I face planted onto the unloading ramp at the top of the lift, right in front of the attractive lifty. To make things worse, my ski had also fallen off so I had to turn around and look the people behind us in the face to grab my ski

Definitely the most embarrasing thing eve
 
The top of Excalibur is literally 30 FEET from the Excelerator lift line. What possible reason could you have for thinking it'd be cool / fun to ski switch down an almost flat slope switch for 30 feet?
 
ohh this is a good one:

so a few years ago i'm at blue mtn, riping arround. can't remember what run it was but its was really steep and icy, with a flat at the top, and it kinda droped off into the run, ive got some heat coming into the run, so i jump right before the drop just to show off infornt of my buddies who are behind me, but i can't really see whats down the hill... ....so now I can see what gonig on down the hill and there is this old dude doing the widest fucking turns on a snowboard, cutting directly from one side of the run to the other. I can't stop because its so icy and i'm maching.. he doens't know im coming in hot behind him...

I smoke him! Hard!

My skis come off somehow and we end up in a tangled mess.. a full on 69 position.. he is on his back sliding feet first and im on top of him, head in his junk with my crotch agaist his face. we ended up slidnig down this whole steeep section like this.. eventually we stop .. my friends are all on the ground laughing.. i asked him if it "was good for him" .. he wasn't happy.. hahah
 
Somewhat recently I was at Okemo, just sessioning the pipe and the little features in the pipe park. The line down at the t-bar was absurdly long, so when I rolled up and saw that the t-bar had stopped, I immediately started hiking up to where my friend was sitting on the t-bar. I had almost made it to him when I thought the t-bar was about to start back up. I gave up about three feet short, then realized the t-bar wasn't starting back up. I tried hopping up to my friend and promptly fell over right as the bar started back up, for real this time. Copious amounts of laughter from the lift-line ensued.
 
hahaha good story. At my old hill there is constantly little kids and snowboarders who have never rode before and have no idea how to turn and they go maching down into teh lift line completely out of control. When your on teh lift it is a form of amusement to see how far they make it down teh hill, and they get points for each person they take out in the line.

My story is the other day I was, once again skiing at my new hill (Marble, Newf.) and I went down a run I was unfamiliar with, that had a nice looking 10 or so foot drop at the bottom. so I go moderate speed off this little drop and realize there's a ditch at teh bottom. so I case the edge of teh ditch, double eject perfectly and do a faceplant into about 4 inches of powder. Not many people were around though.
 
a chick broke her neck during the second quarter of the oxford hills vs. brunswick girls BB game last night.
 
there were all kinds of pros and demo tents set up at my mountain. I met one of the Roxy skiers (hot girl) on the lift. I saw her later on the slopes tried to ski fast by her and I ended up rail sliding the back of someone else's skis. Did two front flips (on the ground) and had a huge yard sale. My other friend was trying to auction off my things while I was trying to figure out what just happen...lol. She was just like, "see ya" HHAAHAHA Man, that sucked, it was on October and I still cant bend my thumb all the way.
 
Sooo one day i was ripping up my local mountain with some of my lady friends and i thought i'd be a rebal and duck under the ropes separating the lift lines. And me not having very good limbo skills smoked my face on the rope and landed flat on my back, after that my nose was completely and i was spewing blood everwhere as i was riding up the lift while feeling like a uber n00b
 
i was going to drop into the pipe and turned my skis sideways to speed check a little and WHAM ate shit. there was just some little snow pile that i caught my ski and it just whipped me into the ground. shit hurt too.
 
hmmmmm one day back in like grade 11 or so, we had a pro d day or whatever, and it was just our school. anyways, like 20-30 kids were up at one of or the local mountains, so we all met up and had a race from the peak down to the bottom of the chair. well me and my buddy were the only 2 skiers and we winning about halfway down, by a long shot. anyways we go around this corner and we both just sideswiped each other and hit some random skier, everyones shit just went everywhere, and while about 20 other friends flew by. not that great but so fun
 
In the past two seasons I have fallen off the lift as I am loading. Not paying attention I guess, but I have never fallen off the lift before. One time I was slacking getting on the gondola and got my head stuck in the door as it was closing, luckily I had a helmet on. So I slip my head out of the helmet and it goes for a ride to the top as I follow it and my skis in the next bucket with the people that watched it all go down...awkward, I put in my head phones and sat quietly.
 
yeah so one day i spaced out and tried to load 5 people onto a quad..... and my "great" friends just let me ski into the loading area and there were already 4 people in there....

but we got a good laugh out of it.
 
I was playing around on an intermediate groomer last year, popping stupid little tricks off every bump on the run, and there was one spot where you could get a whopping fifteen feet of air. I went for the sw 3, but as I looked over my shoulder to start the rotation, my hood blew over my face. I ended up doing a wildly flailing, completely blind zero spin, bombing into the run while trying to uncover my face, and plowed into some middle aged lady. She was like, "um, maybe you should learn to ski forward before you try skiing backward." I didn't think it would be particularly clever to say, "yeah, sorry, I hardly ever run into people on blue runs," so I just sheepishly agreed and skied off looking like an idiot.
 
Last weekend I was riding under the Bear chair at Fernie. Right before the lift line I went to butter 180 to hit a cattrack switch just before the lift line. Caught my edge while on my tips and packed my face straight into the snow. That hurt enough, the hollering from the chairlift didn't help one bit.
 
Oh course oxford hills won. I have no idea how emmy's doing though. It was 43-42 with 3 left in the fourth and the brunswick coach got a technical. hilarous shit. final scoce was 51 to forty something.
 
I've fallen in the same river on three seperate occassions on Blackcomb. Luckily no one was around to see it but it sure made my feet cold!
 
That's terrible! I hope she's not paralyzed. Did it look broked, like was her head at some odd angle? That'd be so gross but cool to see (in a very sad way).
 
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