I put on my Robe and Wizard hat

Ski_Instructor_Mike

Ski_Instructor_Mike

Active member
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bloodninja: Baby, I been havin a tough night so treat me nice aight?

BritneySpears14: Aight.

bloodninja: Slip out of those pants baby, yeah.

BritneySpears14: I slip out of my pants, just for you, bloodninja.

bloodninja: Oh yeah, aight. Aight, I put on my robe and wizard hat.

BritneySpears14: Oh, I like to play dress up.

bloodninja: Me too baby.

BritneySpears14: I kiss you softly on your chest.

bloodninja: I cast Lvl. 3 Eroticism. You turn into a real beautiful woman.

BritneySpears14: Hey...

bloodninja: I meditate to regain my mana, before casting Lvl. 8 Cock of the Infinite.

BritneySpears14: Funny I still don't see it.

bloodninja: I spend my mana reserves to cast Mighty F*ck of the Beyondness.

BritneySpears14: You are the worst cyber partner ever. This is ridiculous.

bloodninja: Don't f*ck with me bitch, I'm the mightiest sorcerer of the lands.

bloodninja: I steal yo soul and cast Lightning Lvl. 1,000,000 Your body explodes into a fine bloody mist, because you are only a Lvl. 2 Druid.

BritneySpears14: Don't ever message me again you piece of ****.

bloodninja: Robots are trying to drill my brain but my lightning shield inflicts DOA attack, leaving the robots as flaming piles of metal.

bloodninja: King Arthur congratulates me for destroying Dr. Robotnik's evil army of Robot Socialist Republics. The cold war ends. Reagan steals my accomplishments and makes like it was cause of him.

bloodninja: You still there baby? I think it's getting hard now.

bloodninja: Baby?

-------------------

bloodninja: Ok baby, we got to hurry, I don't know how long I can keep it ready for you.

j_gurli3: thats ok. ok i'm a japanese schoolgirl, what r u.

bloodninja: A Rhinocerus. Well, hung like one, thats for sure.

j_gurli3: haha, ok lets go.

j_gurli3: i put my hand through ur hair, and kiss u on the neck.

bloodninja: I stomp the ground, and snort, to alert you that you are in my breeding territory.

j_gurli3: haha, ok, u know that turns me on.

j_gurli3: i start unbuttoning ur shirt.

bloodninja: Rhinoceruses don't wear shirts.

j_gurli3: No, ur not really a Rhinocerus silly, it's just part of the game.

bloodninja: Rhinoceruses don't play games. They f*cking charge your ass.

j_gurli3: stop, cmon be serious.

bloodninja: It doesn't get any more serious than a Rhinocerus about to charge your ass.

bloodninja: I stomp my feet, the dust stirs around my tough skinned feet.

j_gurli3: thats it.

bloodninja: Nostrils flaring, I lower my head. My horn, like some phallic symbol of my potent virility, is the last thing you see as skulls collide and mine remains the victor. You are now a bloody red ragdoll suspended in the air on my mighty horn.

bloodninja: Goddam am I hard now.

--------------

BritneySpears14: Ok, are you ready?

eminemBNJA: Aight, yeah I'm ready.

BritneySpears14: I like your music Em... Tee hee.

eminemBNJA: huh huh, yeah, I make it for the ladies.

BritneySpears14: Mmm, we like it a lot. Let me show you.

BritneySpears14: I take off your pants, slowly, and massage your muscular physique.

eminemBNJA: Oh I like that Baby. I put on my robe and wizard hat.

BritneySpears14: What the f*ck, I told you not to message me again.

eminemBNJA: Oh ****

BritneySpears14: I swear if you do it one more time I'm gonna report your ISP and say you were sending me kiddie porn you f*ck up.

eminemBNJA: Oh ****

eminemBNJA: damn I gotta write down your names or something

Bloodninja: I lick your earlobe, and undo your watch.

Sarah19fca: mmmm, okay.

Bloodninja: I take yo pants off, grunting like a troll.

Sarah19fca: Yeah I like it rough.

Bloodninja: I smack you thick booty.

Sarah19fca: Oh yeah, that feels good.

Bloodninja: Smack, Smack, yeeeaahhh.

Bloodninja: I make some toast and eat it off your ass. Land O' Lakes butter all in your crack. Mmmm.

Sarah19fca: you like that?

Bloodninja: I peel some bananas.

Sarah19fca: Oh, what are you gonna do with those?

Bloodninja: get me peanuts. Peanuts from the ballpark.

Sarah19fca: Peanuts?

Bloodninja: Ken Griffey Jr. Yeaaaaahhh.

Sarah19fca: What are you talking about?

Bloodninja: I'm spent, I jump down into the alley and smoke a fatty. I throw rocks at the cats.

Sarah19fca: This is stupid.

Bloodninja: Stone Cold Steve Austin gives me some beer.

Bloodninja: Wanna Wrestle Stone Cold?

Bloodninja: Yeeaahhhh.

Sarah19fca: /ignore

Bloodninja: Its cool stone cold she was a bitch anyway.

Bloodninja: We get on harleys and ride into the sunset.

---------------

Bloodninja:Wanna cyber?

DirtyKate:OK, but don't tell anybody ;-)

DirtyKate:Who are you?

Bloodninja: I've got blond hair, blue eyes, I work out a lot

Bloodninja:And I have a part time job delivering for Papa John's in my Geo Storm.

DirtyKate:You sound sexy.. I bet you want me in the back of your car..

Bloodninja:Maybe some other time. You should call up Papa John's and make an order

DirtyKate: Haha! OK

DirtyKate:Hello! I'd like an extra-EXTRA large pizza just dripping with sauce.

Bloodninja:Well, first they would say, 'Hello, this is Papa John's, how may I help you', then they tell you the specials, and then you would make your order. So that's an X-Large. What toppings do you want?

DirtyKate:I want everything, baby!

Bloodninja:Is this a delivery?

DirtyKate:Umm...Yes

DirtyKate:So you're bringing the pizza to my house now? Cause I'm home alone... and I think I'll take a shower...

Bloodninja:Good. It will take about fifteen minutes to cook, and then I'll drive to your house.

**pause**

DirtyKate:I'm almost finished with my shower... Hurry up!

Bloodninja:You can't hurry good pizza.

Bloodninja:I'm on my way now though

**pause**

DirtyKate:So you're at my front door now.

Bloodninja:How did you know?

Bloodninja:I knock but you can't hear me cause you're in the shower. So I let myself in, and walk inside. I put the pizza down on your coffee table.

Bloodninja:Are you ready to get nasty, baby? I'm as hot as a pizza oven

DirtyKate:Oooohh yeah. I step out of the shower and I'm all wet and cold. Warm me up baby

Bloodninja:So you're still in the bathroom?

DirtyKate:Yeah, I'm wrapping a towel around myself.

Bloodninja:I can no longer resist the pizza. I open the box and unzip my pants with my other hand. As I penetrate the gooey cheese, I moan in ecstacy. The mushrooms and Italian sausage are rough, but the sauce is deliciously soothing. I blow my load in seconds. As you leave the bathroom, I exit through the front door....

DirtyKate:What the f**k?

DirtyKate:You perverted piece of s**t

DirtyKate:F**k

------------------

Bloodninja: Wanna cyber?

MommyMelissa: Sure, you into vegetables?

Bloodninja: What like gardening an ****?

MommyMelissa: Yeah, something like that.

Bloodninja: Nuthin turns me on more, check this out

Bloodninja: You bend over to harvest your radishes.

(pause)

MommyMelissa: is that it?

Bloodninja: You water your tomato patch.

Bloodninja: Are you ready for my fresh produce?

MommyMelissa: I was thinking of like, sexual acts INVOLVING vegetables... Can you make it a little more sexy for me?

(pause)

Bloodninja: I touch you on your lettuce, you massage my spinach... Sexily.

Bloodninja: I ride your buttocks, like they were amber waves of grains.

MommyMelissa: Grain doesn't really turn me on... I was thinking more along the lines of carrots and zucchinis.

Bloodninja: my zucchinis carresses your carrots.

Bloodninja: Damn baby your right, this s**t is HOT.

MommyMelissa: ...

Bloodninja: My turnips listen for the soft cry of your love. My insides turn to celery as I unleash my warm and sticky cauliflower of love.

MommyMelissa: What the f**k is this madlibs? I'm outta here.

Bloodninja: Yah, well I already unleashed my cauliflower, all over your olives, and up in your eyes. Now you can't see. Bitch.

MommyMelissa: whatever.

-Mike

I just wanna see siamese twins box eachother.
 
BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA FUCKIN AWESOME!!!!!!!

----------------------------------

'thats when you smack them upside the head and say 'yo bitch,i know this aint tennis but im a use my backhand!'' - Lateralis

Member of the 'lets help Sam loose some weight so he can possibly get a girl' Club.

Bonnnnnnnnnnnnnggggg
 
HAHAHAHAHAHA HOLY SHIT.. THAT WAS THE FUNNIEST THING EVER

-------------------

Sam 'Beefy Tits'-'Pie Tits'-'Cake Tits'-'Cake-Pie Cookie Tits' Caylor

°°°Viva La Donate°°°

°°°Viva La Resistance°°°

°°°Viva La Gagina°°°

SFHNC 0/1700

Subject of the 'lets help Sam loose some weight so he can possibly get a girl' Club

EMTAE FO LIFE!
 
HOLY FUCKING SHIT THAT IS SO FUCKING FUNNY AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

FOUNDER OF CORKED MAGAZINE

'is that harvey dude like our group leader?' -lagwagon

Member of the 'lets help Sam loose some weight so he can possibly get a girl' Club.

-j
 
hahahahahahahaha oh man i cant believe that i laughed for a good 45 min.

___________________

Personaly I believe my short term memory has been affected but that is the main side effect and I also think maybe my short term memory has been affected.

Pimpin since Pimpin be Pimpin been Pimpin

 
thats so funnnyyy haha

---------------------------

THE POWER IS YOURS

Our world is in peril. Gaia, the Spirit of the Earth, can no longer stand the terrible destruction plagueing our planet. She sends five magic rings to five special young people: Kwame, from Africa, with the power of Earth. From North America, Wheeler, with the power of Fire. From Eastern Europe, Linka, with the power of Wind. From Asia, Gi, with the power of Water. And from South America, Ma-Ti, with the power of Heart. When the five powers combine, they summon Earth's greatest champion, Captain Planet!

 
u do no all those girls had there hands down there pants when u talked to them.. welll at the biggining they did anyway

---------------------------

THE POWER IS YOURS

Our world is in peril. Gaia, the Spirit of the Earth, can no longer stand the terrible destruction plagueing our planet. She sends five magic rings to five special young people: Kwame, from Africa, with the power of Earth. From North America, Wheeler, with the power of Fire. From Eastern Europe, Linka, with the power of Wind. From Asia, Gi, with the power of Water. And from South America, Ma-Ti, with the power of Heart. When the five powers combine, they summon Earth's greatest champion, Captain Planet!

 
holy shit that is the funniest thing ever. are those real s/ns?

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

'I am so smart, I am so smart. S-M-R-T, wait no, S-M-A-R-T!' - homer simpson

member of the 'lets help Sam loose some weight so he can possibly get a girl' Club.
 
omg that is easily the funniest thing i've ever heard in my life, where'd you get that??

'Hey I first smoked when i was 10 and look at me now! Wait...I am trying to make an intelligent point...ahh nevermind fuck it let's go bowling'

-ThisAngelicRage
 
hahahahahahahahahahhahaah holy shit im crying that was the funnniest thing evrer! haahhahah wizard hat and robe lol

don't be hatin!

 
Simply hilarious, the Rhinoceruses one was my favorite.

IM out like a blind kid in laser tag--- --- I'm out like a midget in a high jump competition
 
that is the funniest shit EVER....I want to see some more....hahahahahhahahahahhahah

'Some day's your the dog and other days you're the hydrant asshole'

-my uncle Gary telling me his philosophy on life while drunk in a bar

Five-9 Productions

'You can't go steezy in tha treezy'

-Brian Class on Skiing in the Glades

When there is no grass on the field, play in the mud

-Pep Fujas

-MR
 
im gonna have to try that

FOUNDER OF CORKED MAGAZINE

'is harvey our group leader or something?' - lagwagon

bloodninja: I stomp the ground, and snort, to alert you that you are in my breeding territory.

bloodninja: I meditate to regain my mana, before casting Lvl. 8 Cock of the Infinite

-j
 
hahaha that is excellent

kbus1224: i see how it is, ski movie more important than me?

npublicenemy900: no not the whole movie just Iannick B.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

Proud to be the American captian of the Canadian Drinking Team
 
oh my god. that is the funniest thing i have ever read. wait, no. the constapation thread was barely funnier. thanks for the laugh man. hahahahaha

 
that was the funniest shit I've read in a long time!! It hurts!!

----------------------

'Dude, check out this nasty gouge.'

'Your mom has a nasty gouge.'

My Gay Photosite

 
haha Well done sir, very well done. I'm quite impressed. Not really, you've lived up to your reputation.

What?

Those little things are funny little things.

Brody

i wont drop out of high school for skiing, mom

 
what was that site that you could chat and a thing would chat back to you, but it was a cpu? link?

_______________________________________________________

Oh yes, yes, i love crack, im absolutely cookoo for crack! -Stewie

Member of the 'lets help Sam loose some weight so he can possibly get a girl' Club.
 
hahahaha, between that and the constipation thread...never laughed so much on NS!

-------------------

freestyler525 -> this a damn ski forum not the fucking 'gramatical spelling forum'

CalgaryJibber -> two M;s in grammatical

freestyler525 ->i had to admit that was pretty funny
 
that is pretty good, not the funniest thing though, the constipation thing was way better

'You only live once. If you live it right, once is enough' -Micah Black
 
haha, that's fucking gold

-----------

Unity through nationalism isn't unity- it's nazi.

Unity through shared pain and human struggle-that's unity.

 
holy shit man, that was kick ass. I like when you where a mage, basicly cuse it pissed her off so much.

'My arm hurts, I think I had a Stroke'

-Some girl in my school

'At least my boy friend didnt finger my ass hole with strawberry shampoo'

- Words siad durring a Bitch fight

'Bagger my ass, its probley just Mill House'

- Homer Simpson

Sluty girl: 'Im so bad that i run with gangs'

Cartman: 'Yea well, I run with Ten Gangs..'

-South park episode
 
^ no shit sherlock...but he never said it was his...he found it and is letting us know about it.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! that is the funniest shit ever

'save the trees, wipe your ass with an owl!'

'how many snowboarders does it take to screw in a lightbulb?.......10, 1 to do it, 9 to say that they can do that.'
 
bloodninja: I meditate to regain my mana, before casting Lvl. 8 Cock of the Infinite.

BritneySpears14: Funny I still don't see it.

that sent me over the top!

-------------------

freestyler525 -> this a damn ski forum not the fucking 'gramatical spelling forum'

CalgaryJibber -> two M;s in grammatical

freestyler525 ->i had to admit that was pretty funny
 
That was amazing. How'd you come up with something like that. I liked the one part where one of the chicks said, ok, but dont tell anyone. Wow.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

'You know the world has gone crazy when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black, the Swiss hold the America's cup, France is accusing the U.S. of arrogance, and Germany doesn't want to go to war.'

 
I guess I should say it again, though nobody will read this

* note I DIDN'T do this but you may see some twisted comedy come out of me sometime soon

-Mike

I just wanna see siamese twins box eachother.
 
Hahahahaha! Classic! Find more. I'm going to read that albinoblacksheep one now. Hahaha, people are so crazy

~*~§~*~§~*~§~*~§~*~

Sex is like math:

You plus me

Minus the clothes

Divide the legs

And hope we don't multiply

Cheers to skier chicks!

We may be few and far between, but we're definitely out there!
 
im getting horney guys... (my shirt comes off)

---------------------------

THE POWER IS YOURS

Our world is in peril. Gaia, the Spirit of the Earth, can no longer stand the terrible destruction plagueing our planet. She sends five magic rings to five special young people: Kwame, from Africa, with the power of Earth. From North America, Wheeler, with the power of Fire. From Eastern Europe, Linka, with the power of Wind. From Asia, Gi, with the power of Water. And from South America, Ma-Ti, with the power of Heart. When the five powers combine, they summon Earth's greatest champion, Captain Planet!

 
I just read it all again, and laughed, AGAIN.

that's the funniest shit. I don't normally laugh at things online...but...DAMN.

I need more Mike!

Brody

i wont drop out of high school for skiing, mom

 
i read it about 10 times, and its still halarious. page?

'I am so smart, I am so smart. S-M-R-T, wait no, S-M-A-R-T!' - homer simpson
 
oh man, that was sooooooooooo hilarious. That was funny when britney said she was going to call your ISP and say you sent her kiddie porn. hahahahhahahahhaa

-Jason

Member of the lets help Sam loose some weight so he can possibly get a girl Club.

--Creator of the NS Matching Game--
 
yeah I found an extended version by the same guy it seems.

Partner6: So you're really a 18 yr old girl right?

J-Dogg: Yeah, J for Julie.

Partner6: So whats with the 'Dogg'

J-Dogg: Uh, It's cause I'm into the latina gangs and shit. You know, rollin with tha homies and shit.

Partner6: Oh, uh ok thats cool. So you ever seen a gun?

J-Dogg: Yeah like I got 6 guns.

Partner6: Thats cool, so you wanna see my gun?

J-Dogg: hehe, of course baby.

Partner6: I pull off my pants and show you my 'gun'.

J-Dogg: Ohh, it's so big.

Partner6: Yeah, what you want to do?

J-Dogg: Umm, i guess stroke it or something.

Partner6: It likes that.

J-Dogg: aight.

Partner6: Keep talking to me baby...

J-Dogg: I kiss you on the mouth, hard, but then gently.

Partner6: Mmmm, daddy like.

J-Dogg: I unzip my pants...

Partner6: Yes, show me what you got.

J-Dogg: I pull out my schlong, and rub it on your breasts...

Partner6: WTF?!

J-Dogg: Oh shit, I meant, your schlong! your schlong!

Partner6: I've had it with you queers trying to cyber me, I only fuck women...

J-Dogg: Shit just don't shoot me man, I wasn't serious about the guns I have, I'm unarmed!

Partner6: You dipshit.

J-Dogg: I whimper to myself...

J-Dogg: please don't shoot me Mr.

----------

Jdogg:Hey

QT-Pie:Hey

Jdogg:whats goin on

QT-Pie:Nothing. Who are you?

Jdogg:Jdogg. Wanna cyber?

QT-Pie:what does that mean?

Jdogg:what are you wearing?

QT-Pie:T-shirt. Jeans.

Jdogg:Garter belt?

QT-Pie:Ummm...no.

Jdogg:Are we gonna cyber or not?

QT-Pie: uh, okay.

Jdogg:Sweet, I start by rubbing your a** all around. You love this.

Jdogg: You're wet already. I can smell your p***y stink from here.

QT-Pie: WHAT?!

Jdogg: I execute standing position 12 from the Kama Sutra. Passion fills the room. Your head is close to the ceiling fan.

Jdogg:You leave everything to jdogg.

Jdogg:I am completely inside of you. You are my d**k puppet. I put on a little play.

QT-Pie:This is weird. I should go.

Jdogg: I drop you on the ground, and lay a stripe down your back.

QT-Pie: A stripe?

Jdogg: I need a sandwich.

QT-Pie: You're a freak.

Jdogg: I was great. You loved it.

-Mike

I just wanna see siamese twins box eachother.
 
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