How to quit your job with style.

J

johanblaze

Active member
i work at a grocery store. my title is a 'courtesy clerk'. i am basiaclly the company bitch. i bag groceries, collect shopping carts, mop shit up, and deal with peoples bullshit all day. the managers are total fucks, and the job is shitty. today i started a revolution. i got 11 out of the total 21 courtesy clerks say they would quit all at the same time on wednesday. staters brothers will be fucked. it takes at least 7 or 8 courtesy clerks to keep shit going at all times. we are going to clock in and then head to the office. i will eenter first, since i am the leader. the 10 other people with stand in a flying "v" formation behind me, 5 to a side. i am going to talk my shit and then we will leave. the clock will keep running, and in our final paychecks, we will be paid for that time we were not there. this is my plan, but do any of you have something else you think we could do? oh, i was thinking of incorporating our intercom system into this somehow, which can be heard throughout the entire store.

 
it's electronic. on the back of our name badge we just swipe a barcode across it. it automatically records your time.

 
Make sure you have shitty reasons to quit too, because if you have good reasons, than that means they will do er'y thing in their power to keep you working there.

......................
Trying is the first step towards failure
 
use the word resign and fuck you and u lick dick, it will be affective

_______________________________________

high north session 3

VIVA LA RESISTANCE

Jesus loves you, but i think you an asshat
 
good idea, just hope your friends pull through. i'd hate to imagine u tryin to pull the flying V by yourself. remember, it worked in Mighty Ducks, but that was just a movie. and they also had Emilio Estevez, i mean cmon.

[Once, I] got a bj in the back of my dads truck on a road trip while both parents were up front-Norred
 
yeah. i am figuring all the people won't go through with it. if 5 do though, the company will have to hire a shitload of people in a very short time. they will be screwed.

 
just start beatboxin on the intercom it would be so funny. then push the gum rack over on the floor, tackle somebody and burst outta there

[Once, I] got a bj in the back of my dads truck on a road trip while both parents were up front-Norred
 
Right on! dude ill get a job there and then quit with you!!! sound's kiler

Just dip your dong in paint and smack your helmet with it.
 
I'm thinkin' y'all need to walk in there with your penis' hanging out of your flies. Or if you are self conscious, walk in with boners or fake boners. Make the manager sweat a little, get them good and uncomfortable and just let them do the quitting for you.

'I like long walks on the beach...sipping champagne by the fire...gutting dear... (Tweaks_Rock_me)
 
I do actually... (whateva) Have them walk in with excessive cleavage or somethin' or maybe have them stuff something in their pants, I would freak if a bunch of chicks marched in with boners.

'I like long walks on the beach...sipping champagne by the fire...gutting dear... (Tweaks_Rock_me)
 
or we could go in naked. you have to walk through the bakery to get there, so i could just hold a huge piece of french bread in front of my penis. there are a lot of hot bitches that work there. i would love to see them naked.

 
Sounds like an awsome plan! Get the girls to go topless and hold buns in front of their nipples and you could have a bagette or somethin for your cock! man that would be hilarious, no shirt no shoes no sevice!

'I like long walks on the beach...sipping champagne by the fire...gutting dear... (Tweaks_Rock_me)
 
Haha, true dat. You are a thinker dude.

'I like long walks on the beach...sipping champagne by the fire...gutting dear... (Tweaks_Rock_me)
 
i do that anyways. i was walking in front of all the checkstand to go take back some cake mix a customer decided they didn't want, and i started farting at checkstand 5, and made it all the way through 1. it was my finest moment.

 
oh i forgot to let you guys in on the shit part of my plan-

one of my managers knows i am starting an uprising. he called me to the office and asked me if i had been trying to get people to quit.

 
well what did you say?? i woulda been like. no. why? cause i can if you want me too.

Wanted:

A tall, well built women with good

reputation, who can cook frog

legs, who appreciates a good fuc-

shia garden, classical music and tal-

king without getting too serious.

But please only read lines 1, 3, and 5
 
Just walk in and be like... "Yo G, me and my boys have had enough of yo mothafuckin shit, so we gonna peace the fuck outta here, you best go get some kneepads because yo gonna be suckin some heavy dick tonight."

Or a simple, "Peace out mothafucka," will suffice.

Hunter S Thompson RIP 1939-2005

My heroes don't appear on no stamps.

Our greatest glory consists not in never falling. But in rising every time we fall.

 
Having actually quit a job with the words "Ok, Peace", let me tell you that it's a wonderful way to go.

Bahahaha... or, you could call it the 'elitist snob' cult. Anyways, my family already owns a country club, so no thanks.

J.D. May
 
each of you toss a handful of different colored glitter on your bosses face....that stuff is a bitch to get off.

Whe you hate your job you dont strike. you just go in everyday and do it reeaally half-assed. its the American way!
 
i think the best scenario for that is u go in to the office, but nobody else does and they dont quit

Take me to your special place

Close your eyes, show me your face.....I'm gonna piss on it

 
trevorwouldd.... hahhaha you better get kneepads. hha thast classic

Wanted:

A tall, well built women with good

reputation, who can cook frog

legs, who appreciates a good fuc-

shia garden, classical music and tal-

king without getting too serious.

But please only read lines 1, 3, and 5
 
when i worked at HOoters as a cook, on my last shift i' put "I QUIT" up on the markee outside (billboard) and walked out,

good times-

live by the N.E.R.D
 
good plan, but dont you have to give 2 weeks notice before you quit? or they can like get you in shit with whenever you apply for a job in the future or anything.....? i dunno i could be wrong but yeahhh

---Happieness is like peeing your pants... everyone can see it, but only you can feel the warmth---
 
yea ive heard that before though, so.......... good one......

----------------------------------------

~Listen son, said the man with the gun, there is room for you inside~

Doctor said son, you have Reggaemylitis
 
just point to each one of them and say "fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, YOUR COOL, fuck you, peace im out". like Scareface in Half Baked

Brian
 
go out with a bang. just reak general havok. throw pies everywhere knock over fruit stands. then youll be fired but because you did this when you were an employee they wont call the cops theyll just fire you.

07' fo life bitch

I dont know what ya heard about me,

but ya aint gettin a smirinoff for free,

you can sit yourself, on-my-knee,

but keep ya hands off me P.I.N.T.

 
I hope the other 10 or 11 emplayees follow through with it. I mean its easy to say yeah ill quit I hate this job but when it comes down to it they might not want to follow through with it or they may not be able to (people need money you know)

 
say you quit then proceed to jerk off and blow a load on the guys keyboard

'dont jizzz in a hot tub youll have sperm the size of salmon in a week.'

-Astomp17

My time is winding down.............just wait for it
 
i don't want to stay there for another two weeks, so i'm just going to walk out. it wouldn't be good to put them on another application to somewhere else, but i already got hired at the movie theater. and then when i turn 18, i have a for sure job in the ski shop at our sporting goods store. fuck the stater.

 
shave your pubes and glue them to your chest saying 'i quit'. then only wear a trenchcoat to work and open it up in front of your boss.

---------------------
Good Fun With A Hand Gun.

Sacadelic
 
haha tell us how it goes and good luck getting the others to quit with you

they probally all won't go through with it but i hope most of them do

- - - - - - - - - -

boom
 
ok just go rent Office Space for some ideas and a little extra motivation. Do everthing in your power to get fired, then when they go to fire you just quit

word

sick guy, yo guy yesterday guy, some g tried to jack me guy, cause yo i was selling him some budz, guy, and yo guy... i busted out ma nine and shit guy he was packing heat to guy, mad gun fight guy-
G-Dawg
 
WAIT I GOT IT

Pretend you are gay, and get your slef fired and then sue the bitches and say they fired you because your gay!!! -south park episode, but try it

word

sick guy, yo guy yesterday guy, some g tried to jack me guy, cause yo i was selling him some budz, guy, and yo guy... i busted out ma nine and shit guy he was packing heat to guy, mad gun fight guy-
G-Dawg
 
you idiot, all eleven of you put in your two weeks at the same time and watch them scramble and try to hire that many people and figure it out. You can no show or call in sick and just generally make them hate you but you did all the proper procedure, act like nothing is wrong.

Brand new Giro 9. MX size XL color black XL = 59-61.5cm. PM me if you want it.
 
haha this is the greatest thread. just get your posse and be like fuck you, this job blows cock and go on the intercom and be like "fuck fuck fuck fuck tittties pussy clit bitch ass fuck shit, and scream poop" . it would be pretty funny. keep us posted to what you did

The Guatemalan Persuader

Volkl SkIs
 
Dude, I feel your pain, i am an "service associate" and Hannaford Brothers....No fun, but it pays me, I think i will be quitting soon, or "moving on"

If I worked there with you, I would be right on in your plan.

Go for it man.

Stay Classy Newschoolers
 
huh you must really hate the company. but if you dont just give your 2week notice and dont bea bitch.

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

...and thats how we do it in
Bethel, Maine bitch.

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx
 
save up a gigantic fart and go up to ur boss in hsi office stand on his deska n fart right hte fuck in his pace then piss on him then light his garbage can on fire and then throw ur apron on him(if thats part of the uniform) and hten just leave

SKATEBOARDING
 
at my grocery store, the grocery department basically quit, all except 2 students, and 2 full time staff, but they didnt hire anyone they just took ppl from the front end.

Your Toughtest Competitor Lives in Your Head. Some days his name is Fear. Or Doubt. Or Gravity. Stomp his Ass

I AM CANADIAN!!!

 
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