How to Fuck up someones night.....and your own.

skipimp_

Active member
This guy was pissed:

Well friends......it's definetely wild Times At

Kisielius High.

For starters, I have officially dropped out of

katimavik. I am no longer a part of that wonderful

organization. I have chosen to take off with John and

aric and live in Calgary. The craziest day of my life

began like this:

It was a bright and sunny mornig in Strathmore, AB,

and I awoke to sounds of puking and realized it was

me. I had a crazy hangover, the night before, a blur.

I remember Aric ad John smoking a bone In the private

room in the club, snuck in ad shit. Lots of 1.99 beers

and hundreds of 9 cent wings. Aric the vegetarian?

coulda fooled me. so I wake up to bickering as usual

in the Katimavik house, people stepping over and on me

and john, (Aric and john snnuck into the house late

night to catch some z's) and decided that this place

is not where I want to be anymore. We venture to the

City of Strathmore where I work(ed), and went to

examine the stripped out, but functional, 1964 school

bus. here it is. My dream. To be a ski bum in a bus.

Wow, it is within my grasp. We talk to the mechanic

and he says the city won't sell it. It's been sitting

for 5 years, but they wont sell it. Fuckers! But wait!

He has an 88 honda civic hatchback for sale. Ok, not

quite a bus, but I guess it'll do. We get a ride to

calgary to go to the bank to get the cash, and a guy

in a truck pulls up, and says hes got 2 3000$ tower

speakers for sale. 400$ each. I take a look, he's got

a good story, he works at an audio story, so John

gambles and picks em up for 8 bills. go back to

strathmore, We dish out 5 bills, buy the sucker, go

over to the insurance company, get me a policy, pay

1800 for 6 months, get the car registered, buy the

plate, put it on the car. It's 12:00. Wow. Here we

are. We can go all over the rockies and ski anywhere

we want. Sweet. Pack up our shit, go to calgary to see

our new place. we pull up to a modern day castle. Walk

down stairs and are blown away, full living

accomodations, kitchen, bathroom, washer/dryer, 'wave,

sweet place. 250 a month. Shit. can this get any

better? it's 5:00. We decide we need a roof rack for

our skis. We find this guy who has one for cheap, go

to his place in calgary.......wierdest house ever.

Theres wierd hand scrawled egyptian symbols on the

door. We go in..it's an entire apartment building like

a 100 years old. A dog suddenly runs up the stairs

past us. Wierd. We get to the top, and this place has

fucking everything...EVERYTHING! so he walks in, and

he's called the wizard, and he is one wierd ass mofo.

We get the rack and decide to get a tv and an amp

later off of him. We get in the car and cruise the

coolest street in the world, 17th ave in calgary. We

get to the downtown core, and stop at a red light. It

turns green, We move, on top of the world, we got a

ski rack, a place, a ride.......bet it was just too

easy. I blink, the light is red. Brake. It's snowing.

Slide right through a red light and t-bone a 2002

honda civic. It's 6:00. windows smashed. car's

totalled. We're fucked....F-U-C-K-E-D. Cops come, tow

the car, take our keys, ad we are standing there with

nothing but our new roof rack in our hands. It's 6:10.

the intersection is clean. A cop comes over, gives me

a 200$ ticket and a charge that could take 4 points

and kick my rates up 57%. Thanks. We take the train

home. My ass is sore from the royal reaming it just

recieved. everyone's alive. great. Get a call, the

pussy in the other car says he got hurt. Load of SHIT!

he was ready to beat the shit out of me, no way was he

hurt. Anyways.

had a car

didn't go very far

haha world, very funny

go ahead

take all our fucking money

6 hours later

I make the top 10

enemies of the co-operataors

gimme a pen

I have to sign

for this 200$

fine.

thanks you.

So Im on my own, and life never slows down, specially

for yours truly.

If anyone wants to come visit, we got a place, the

rockies are right here, and I would love to take you

to see them. Phone me if you want (403) 273-9763.

thats all for now.

I gotta go get my car outtla the lot.

maybe go smoke some pot.

lates

Shawn 'The Civic Killer' Kisielius

A proud memeber of the NS.com Cousin Exchange Program

SUck My AnTeAtEr

The more you want something, the less likely it will happen.

stealin and dealin screamin semen like a demon

My going rate is 25$

 
The stories keep getting better.

If you are holding up a bank and your pants fall down, it's okay to laugh. And let the hostages laugh to. Because come on, thats funny.
 
That story was really really good. It perfectly shows how funny life can be sometimes.

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

-Dan

Far Too Gangsta' says:

fug off

crAig says:

no you fug off

Far Too Gangsta' says:

sareuiouslly fug OFF!
 
that sucks man, maybe when i get a car i can drive up there and see ur place, ive never been to calgary, keep on pimpin though

--------------------

Creator of the NS Cousin Exchange Program

'Hey look, it's a Zamboni.' My not so intelligent friend after he saw the Loon Gondola

Stealth Ninja of the Silent Army

Viva la Resistance!

 
oh well, just gotta roll with the punches

Viva la Resistance!

Storm Trooper of the Silent Army

Hold my girlfriend while I kiss your skis!
 
Hahahaha, brilliant again, i'm going to start collecting these and release a book. Well written.... hahaha

'suspense around every corner' Calgary Herald

'what a page-turner' Strathmore Citizen

Commander of the Silent Army

Viva La Resistance!

I got so battered last night that I had to send my clients around the corner so I could run behind a tree to be sick. Unfortunately I fell into a snow hole under a pine tree and the impact of falling into an eight foot deep trench made me vomit on myself-love Bawbsy....
 
so if im reading correct that all took place in 1 day, and no one, no single person on this earth could have done all that but u, u kick ass, sucks about the car tho

-----------------

Alex

Guerilla Trooper of the Silent Army

::Viva la Resistance!::

 
i would have beat the shit out of him if he wasnt hurt and i had to pay for his 'expenses', then hed actually have to spend the money on what its for

_________________

conversation with a canadian chick:

me: your money is fucking worthless

her: you got something against canadians?

me:no, just their money

her: well, what if i marry a rich american guy?

me: well you will be rich, but since you are canadian the money will become worthless whenever it touches your hands

her:wait a minute...good point

If you think Chewbacca is hairy, wait till you see my wookie
 
Dude, I think that speaker thing is a scam, actually its a classic, you best check those out.

'I would be embarrassed to constantly complain about my life considering all the freedom and opportunities we have today. People that can't find anything they enjoy in life simply aren't giving it a real try.' ~Nick 311
 
i live in calgary

--->Instead of grabbin everything like a frigging gorrila, we will be borrowing our style from turtles and yanking our shirts over our heads off every jump
 
....the bus....*sniff*....yeah.

All in one day.

Im in Nelson now, gotta get back to my cave though, it's where we're sleeping tonight before we go skiing.....I got enough material for a story....check back often

later boyz

Shawn

A proud memeber of the NS.com Cousin Exchange Program

SUck My AnTeAtEr

The more you want something, the less likely it will happen.

stealin and dealin screamin semen like a demon

My going rate is 25$

 
Back
Top