How do I masturbate with one hand

_69

_69

Active member
I have a ton of pins and screws in my arm rn so I'm out for season. I also cannot move or lift anything with the fingers on that arm. I'm not about to use a laptop because fuck that. How do I pass the time with one hand?
 
topic:AnGaper said:
I have a ton of pins and screws in my arm rn so I'm out for season. I also cannot move or lift anything with the fingers on that arm. I'm not about to use a laptop because fuck that. How do I pass the time with one hand?
Click to expand...
hand job
 
698bd27fd31dd49aeed9aa709636c966.jpg
 
first thing first is you have to make sure you've got enough plastic forks. Don't ask why, they'll come in real handy later.
 
when i broke my wrist i cut a dick-sized hole in a cereal box, filled it with chicken breasts then just microwaved it for 10-15 seconds whenever i was looking for a good time... needless to say, it started to smell bad and i got salmonella in addition to bird flu
 
You kind of have to use a laptop, use incognito mode if you want.

Or, wack it off in the shower if you can cover up your other arm.
 
13638217:Panta.Pow said:
first thing first is you have to make sure you've got enough plastic forks. Don't ask why, they'll come in real handy later.
Click to expand...

13638235:Dennis_Reynolds said:
ask a family member to do it for you
Click to expand...

13638257:MCRENtalgang said:
when i broke my wrist i cut a dick-sized hole in a cereal box, filled it with chicken breasts then just microwaved it for 10-15 seconds whenever i was looking for a good time... needless to say, it started to smell bad and i got salmonella in addition to bird flu
Click to expand...

13638284:safarisam said:
use a banana peel
Click to expand...

NS's cream of the crop.
 
Drill a hole in your wall and stick a fleshlight in the hole. Boom! hands free.

When you're not using it hang a picture over the hole.
 
13638257:MCRENtalgang said:
when i broke my wrist i cut a dick-sized hole in a cereal box, filled it with chicken breasts then just microwaved it for 10-15 seconds whenever i was looking for a good time... needless to say, it started to smell bad and i got salmonella in addition to bird flu
Click to expand...

Do this but use a condom so you don't get salmonella and bird flu.
 
13638394:Lé.Skiing said:
Drill a hole in your wall and stick a fleshlight in the hole. Boom! hands free.

When you're not using it hang a picture over the hole.
Click to expand...

Drill a hole in the wall. Stick your dick in it. See what happens.
 
I don't understand the problem here. What's wrong with your other hand?

Oh, your dick's too large for just one hand? I guess that sucks... I mean it'll never "fit" if ya nah'm sayin.

Guess you'll have to get reduction surgery, Mr. Stinson.
 
So i gave you about 12 hours, have you gotten those plastic forks yet?

if you have, we're gonna have to move on to the harder part. You have a grandma right?
 
13638755:Panta.Pow said:
So i gave you about 12 hours, have you gotten those plastic forks yet?

if you have, we're gonna have to move on to the harder part. You have a grandma right?
Click to expand...

I like the follow up, thats dedication right there +k
 
Now i know what you're thinking, meema may not be to kin on the whole idea of helping me masturbate. But guess what, grandmas always want the best for their nephews. So now that you've got her and the plastic forks, all we need now is a good ol 6 pack of Heineken (or Budweiser), a small plastic kid's pool, as much Jello as you can get you hands on and some tape. The tape is vital and will come in real handy when it's all done.
 
13639404:Turd.Ferguson said:
one to hold the phone and one for the weiner, cmon ming you're better than that
Click to expand...

ohhhh that's why he said he didn't want to use a laptop.

OP buy/make a stand for your phone. Then you don't need two hands!!
 
1. What kind of fucking idiot uses his phone for porn?

2. What kind of fucking moron needs two hands to jack off?

You're lucky a broken hand is all you got because based on your stupidity, I'm shocked you've been able to survive this long.
 
13639485:skierman said:
1. What kind of fucking idiot uses his phone for porn?

2. What kind of fucking moron needs two hands to jack off?
Click to expand...

1. It's efficient.

2. I'm sure you wouldn't understand. I refer to it as a 'long schlong problem.'
 
13639580:AnGaper said:
1. It's efficient.

2. I'm sure you wouldn't understand. I refer to it as a 'long schlong problem.'
Click to expand...

1. Its idiotic

2. That's only a problem the girl/Gus faces when jacking you off. If its your own dick, you're literally retarded if you don't know how to pleasure yourself with one hand.
 
topic:AnGaper said:
I have a ton of pins and screws in my arm rn so I'm out for season. I also cannot move or lift anything with the fingers on that arm. I'm not about to use a laptop because fuck that. How do I pass the time with one hand?
Click to expand...

/bigdickclaim

13638627:Mingg said:
Do you normally not use one hand...?
Click to expand...

he is retarded and can't just put it next to him. he has a little willy and wants it to sound like he is big
 
13639609:skierman said:
1. Its idiotic

2. That's only a problem the girl/Gus faces when jacking you off. If its your own dick, you're literally retarded if you don't know how to pleasure yourself with one hand.
Click to expand...

13639628:Deepskier said:
/bigdickclaim

he is retarded and can't just put it next to him. he has a little willy and wants it to sound like he is big
Click to expand...

why are you both really interested In my dick
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top