God of the animals, i have sinned.

n-o

Active member
so.. first off id liek to say, if you are easily distured DO NOT READ FURTHER!

today i killed a snapping turtle. to some of you this may bring a shrug, to others a gasp.

it was not as much that i killed it, it is how i killed it and how long it took.

so my grampa had a snapper in his pond, and as it was eating ducklings and frogs, he naturally wanted it dead. at any rate, i figured a few good hits with a shovel in the head would do the trick.

boy was i wrong.

for something so fucking old and slow, they are damn persistent at staying alive.

so i get it out onto the grass, it looks at me sticks its head out, ..... WHAM

i smoke it over the top of the head with the shovel.. nothing.

sticks its head up looks at me.. i change positions so im on its right side....... WHAM

smoke it in the face with the shovel. .. still not much of a reaction.

i get in front of it again and line its head up, WHAM WHAM WHAM WHAM.

in the face, neck and head... hes getting abit agitated, and starts snapping at me..

i start freaking out, cause it was bad enough that i was killing it, but i was hoping it would be quick and clean.

so i busted out the shovel again, and started givin it to this turtle like a mexican in a wifebeater. i shit fucked it man, and it was disgusting. i busted off the front of its face, to the point where blood was oozing out of its mouth /what was left of its face , and its head.

im starting to get really sketched, like about to puke style. so im like wtf, how can i finish it off quick? i try chopping its head off with the shovel blade, no dice, so i grab a big rock, like a two hand grabbing, 15 pounder. raise in the air like fucking moses with his tablets, and smash it over the bastards head.

what happens, it starts bleeding like fuck, cant see barely move...

i say fuck it and i toss it in the river, assuming its dead.

the fucker starts swimming.

by now i have shovel beat it for about 5 minutes, smahed its head in with a rock, and chucked it onti a river.. and its still fucking swimming.

im cursing to myself.

so i start hurling huge rocks at it, in hopes that one will kill it.

i throw a huge block of concrete onto its shell and that does nothing.. finally aeftr 20 minutes of trying to kill the damn thing, i walk out into the middle of the river, and step on its shell, held it under water for a good 10minutes, before it finally gave its last breath.

1 turtle , with half of its face bleeding off, and polls of blood drainign from it, took a beating for 20m minutes, and then was held under water for another 10 before it finally died.

may it rest in peace, the poor soul.

next time ill take my uncles offer up on shooting it.

 
i did something like that to a lizard when i was younger, it was alreday dying, but i think i just mae it worse, so i know how you feel
 
nolan how do you always find yourself in positions where you are fucking around with animals? dead moose, road kill, snapping turtles, barbequeing frogs? i know theres others buddy.
 
you should breed it with a porcupine so youll have an ultime devil animal, then kill it
 
if you took some adventures with us, this would seem routine. for example this week sometime nolans coming over to help me kill a raccoon family living under my deck.
 
yea me and my friend caught one fishing one time on accident...it took fucking 35 minutes to get the hook out of its mouth. it chopped through like 10+ sticks and came close to losing my finger. i dont fuck with those things any more.
 
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHJAHAAHAHHAHAHAHA

oh and nolly, when i gotta get the mink outa my shed i know your the one to call.
 
i dont like when people kill animals for reasons like that. catch the turtle, put it in a sack, then move it to a pond far away, its not going to come back, its a turtle, not a raccon or something. unless you have a quick painless way to kill the animal for sure, dont just assume you can kill it easily. some animals are tough as fuck.
 
That's fucking horrible. That thing is old and still living for a reason..... because it's badass. You know you can always just let it go somewhere else. The 20 minutes it took you to kill it could have been spent driving in a vehicle to a place where you can let it go. And if it was a river why not just send it down stream a little.
 
while we are on the subject, a while back i shot a dog with a paintball..

it was long range and my buddy hit a wall beside a dude walking his dog and it scared the fuck out of them both and it was hilarious, they had no idea what happened.

then i saw some chick with her dog and i tried the same thing except i HIT THE FUCKING DOG! they look around for like a minute and then some dude goes up to her and she looks right where we were hiding, then we bolt down the block.. through a grocery store where the girl find us and threatens me to never do that again while we were both laughing hard as hell. (we were like 12 at the time)

fin.
 
i gotta say dude, your a fuckin idiot. shooting a paintball gun at someone who isnt expecting it? retard
 
yeah dude, ive seen a snapping turtle shot in the head and it still kept moving for like another two minutes after that.

a bullet point blank to the head and i guarantee none of you would be moving at all
 
That's one of the most twisted things I have heard in a while. But not gonna hate on you any for doing it.

All I will say is it SUCKS to now have that whole ordeal in your head till the day you die.

It will NEVER go away.

Especially when your old and realize how awful a thing it was that you did. that's when it will hurt the most.

Cheers.
 
dude waht the fuck thats so fucked up. Fuck you. That thing probably was 40-50 yrs old and you decided hey, lets kill it. Fuck you dude, and the way you did it. There are animal control people to remove shit like that and place it somewhere else. What the fuck is wrong with you. A defenseless snapping turtle against a fucking cunt and his shovel. Real tough dude, I really want to fight you.. with a shovel. God your a fuck
 
^its not like a snapping turtle is on the endangered species list. Jesus its just a slimy reptile, it probably had no idea what was even going on. A turtle fucks another turtle, then leaves. Then 50 more turtles are born just to fuck more turtles. Its not the end of the world now that this kid killed a big ass turtle. A killer maniac turtle at that. How come none of you feel bad for the ducks? Its the same thing, one animal wasting another. No need to get your panties in a bunch.
 
Couldnt you just put it in a box and the next time your in your car just drop it at the side of the road or something?
 
those koopa troopers are bad ass, im surprised you could to that though i could never go through with wacking an innocent turtle on the head with a shovel that must have been tough. and that guy^^ chill the fuck out spaz
 
why would your grandpa rather have loud frogs and annoying ducks w/ their shit on his lawn instead of a quite old turtle taht he can relate to
 
Turtles, like all living things have nerves. Imagine the pain it felt. Think about you having your nose ripped off and bleeding down your face and then being continually beaten. Every animal, no matter how big or small the brain, has a fight or flight mechanism. All the poor thing wanted was to get away and it was being beaten to death. That is the definition of animal cruelty man. I really fucking hope you get hit by a train. For real.

Snapping turtles, to get to a formidable size have to live roughly 30 years. You ended the life of an awesome animal to save a couple of ducks that'll shit on your lawn anyway. I dunno man, snapping turtles are awesome creatures and you are still a fuck. So is anyone else who said, "thats so cool."
 
hahahaha i dont care dude, that was funny. but my dad has killed one by just one shovel hit on the shell, it cracked the shell and then it just died right there...
 
true dat. except for the getting hit by a train part.

the way you worded the story made me laugh so hard i dont know why
 
wtf....all that because he was eating some ducks and frogs....fuck man. thats the way of life, alot of animals dont make it through life because they get eaten by a bigger animal. Thats how the world works and how species survive through time by getting the food they need. Next time tell your grampa to let nature run its course or else move the turtle to another place.
 
i dont think you could drown a snapping turtle by holding it under water for 10 minuets hahaha

arent they endangered too?????
 
yea i dont think that was the best thing to do but im not mad about it like some other people in this thread
 
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