Funniest/Coolest thing you've ever stolen

TotallyTrevor

TotallyTrevor

Active member
personally i havent really stolen anything more then the occasional candy bar or whatever, but my friend steals sometimes and he stole the funniest thing last week
so my mom gave away these short ski poles i was using so i didnt have poles last weekend, this kid told me to take some from the rental shop. i walked by the poles and went into the bathroom cause this guy was like guarding them. right when i walked into the bathroom my friend walked up and started browsing through the poles. when i came out my friend was out side and he kind of motioned towards his pants, as he limped away like a G. then he pulled the poles out of his pants hahahaha it was hilarious.

long story short. my friend crotched me a pair of poles, any funny/cool stories???????
 
stealing highly valued personal belongings from individual people is not good with me.

stealing from establishments such as Chevron, Target and Wal-Mart is just good clean petty theft. : )

stole an orange hunting face mask from wal mart.
 
a pack of condoms, one of which ended up breaking and henceforth costing 20 bucks for a morning after pill.

but then she got birth control :D

ohh and a bear sculpture about 2 feet tall carved out of wood, hes fat and sitting and holding a sign that says "welcome"
 
that seems fucked up somehow lol

i've already stolen 5 beer glasses from bars around town since i've been in university.
 
ive stolen 3 pairs of poles from my mountains rental shop haha, i gave a pair to my dad for his b day
 
Not a personal story but on st patties last year me and two buddies were in whistler and they both stole glasses and one of them just threw it behind himself as we were walking back to our condo and the other one got stopped by some cop and made him throw it away, he was way bummed but i thought it was hilarious.
 
o wait halloween I stole some dudes captain morgan foam pirate hat. Best part was that I was in a banana suit so the hat just topped it right off
 
dumb shit from walmart like a hunting knife, and silly string, and various other shit like an airhorn and also headlight for my friends car. those things are like 60$ a set and we didnt have 60$ haha.
 
When my friend was a bar tender you could say I stole lots of the free beer from the bar that he gave me.

Other than that just the occasional software and music piracy... oh and one time this annoying drunk girl was at a bar in a little mining town by my ski area (Neihart, Montana) and she was telling us how shitty our state was and how we lived like rednecks and stuff like that (My 2 friends and I had been cutting firewood all day so we all had work clothes and boots on and were dirty) So when that bitch turned around we grabbed freshly filled pitcher and chugged it. We thanked her for the beer and went back to the cabin for the night.
 
got a bunch of knives from crappy tire, two shitty cameras....umm fireworks, rockstar from some corner store, ummm, usb cards, cds,....

this one time i was at crappy tire and wanted a chin up bar so i slid it in my shorts and tried my best to make it look like i had a large chubby. i just walked right out the garden center door and winked at the cashier haha it actually worked too. i couldnt believe she didnt notice haha
 
haha that reminds me of a couple years ago i was trick or treating and we took a skeleton that was in peices on the ground. the next door neighbour had the same set up so we got our candy and my friend picked up a hand from his skeleton and put it in her bag. the guy saw us in the window so he yelled at us and told me to give back the hand that i stole. i didnt have a hand in my bag so i took out a foot instead and gave it to him. he then got super angry and confused so we ran away

 
my freind this summer got drunk and on his way home stole about a 8 foot pair tree from a garden center. him and some buddies just picked it up and dragged it home. thing must have cost 500 bucks.
 
I don't know what but my entire house likes to take things when we get drunk.

here is a small list of things we have aquired as of late

- to many bar glasses and pitches to count

- a Redbull Bar mat (the little thing that holds liquid below the dispensers

- a bottle of Jäger (bars around OSU never watch there Jäger machines or there full bottles for some reason, we've taken a few glasses full and also a few bottle in the last few months)

- porch table

- other random bar items like openers

- many a shot glass

the next possible item on my list if I don't honestly acquire one soon is a Redbull mirror from a bar here on campus.

looks like this and is sick

redbullframelessmirror.jpg


also, because we had a Red Bull sponsered event this weekend for the OSU vs Michigan game we have two of there burn barrels in our back yard right now that I'm not 100% sure if they are gonna pick up or not. (i'm praying it's a no)
 
helping steal an EB Games' entire stock of Wii Mario Galaxy's (which were then sold for $60 each and the take was split between 5 of us).
 
me and my roommate stole a rug from the campus police station at night, and I carried it on my moped across campus back to our dorm. it really tied the room together!
 
full price at the time was $70 so they were getting $10 off. telling you how many we sold would be a major claim that i don't feel like posting.
 
It was an Pittsburgh Xplosion game a few years back. Took it from box seats. It might have been the lamest sporting event ever, we were the only white kids there
 
my cousins and his buddies managed to steal a beer truck, parked in it the woods and spent all night loading up their cars with cases of beer and bringing them to their house. i went down to see them one weekend and all walls in the basement from the floor to the ceilling were cases of beer! one of the craziest things ive ever seen!
 
I stole my crowbars from Joe's. I would never steal from a shop, but I figured a giant corporation could handle the loss.
 
i know some kid who stole a slushie machine for a 7-11

i think its fuckin hilarious he was just running down the street carrying a slushie machine
 
i stole a sign from my school when i was in 8th grade that said "We value and take care of school property"
i thought it was pretty funny, but i was like 13...
 
Never stolen anything from people or shops but the number of road cones and signs we have moved around/taken is too many to count.
 
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