Funniest/Coolest thing you've ever stolen

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I stole the Malaysia Airlines flight 370 plane I have it in my garage I'm gonna wait a couple years to take it out for a spin so the government will forget and not notice. Does anyone have some human trafficking experience the passengers are currently in my basement taking up a lot of space
 
40 yard line marker from my school's football field, and a lighter from Mad River Glen because I had no money for it. Oh and a traffic cone from a nursing home when I was really drunk
 
Me and my friends sort of get into this habit when we drive around late at night. We take traffic cones and then instead of keeping them we put them on peoples front door steps who we know.

We even took one of those largeish ones that has a blinking orange light and put it on our other friends door step. Well i guess we put every cone we took on his door step and it went from small ones and got bigger and bigger until we got to the blinking orange light one.
 
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I stole minor stuff when I was a little kid, but have some class people. You are harming someone personally by stealing anything.
 
13040341:shred-sesh said:
So I've never stolen anything but I was with my friend when he stole a very large purple dildo. He did get caught stealing it. So it's on his record that he stole a purple dildo. That's pretty damn funny if you ask me
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This guy I know one time just walked in to a sex store started looking around grabed a vibrater then ran
 
13040341:shred-sesh said:
So I've never stolen anything but I was with my friend when he stole a very large purple dildo. He did get caught stealing it. So it's on his record that he stole a purple dildo. That's pretty damn funny if you ask me
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This guy I know one time just walked in to a sex store started looking around grabed a vibrater then ran
 
This kid that skis at same hill as i do stole some jskis out of some ugly dudes back yard and then he snapped then the next day. Think he said the guys name was Steve or something dumb like that.
 
I stole a disco ball once on the way home from the bars. No clue where it came from or how I got it home. Just woke up with it
 
Stole a salt shaker and made a long line of salt all over the store and another time we stole like 50 to 80 gnomes and put them in the middle of an intersection. Idk why we chose an intersection but seeing it in therror morning was quite silly
 
I was a freshman in high school and some girls spotted me as I was cruising around solo at the mall. I was not a big fan of these chicks, but I don't like being rude and figured it wouldn't hurt to chill with them for a bit. After a while they dragged me into the back of this store to look at some bras and shit. Out of nowhere they start stuffing thongs into my pockets and theirs, whispering to me "we will lay them all out later and see who gets what". At this point I scoot right the fuck out of that store. We end up walking to a bench and spreading them all out. They invite me to come over as they are talking about sending pics to their bfs of their new underwear. Didn't feel like getting wrapped up in that so I peaced shortly after with a pocketful of sunshine and thongs.
 
when i was 12 me and a friend would steal packs of condoms from the gas station, fill them up rite out side at the water spout and chuck em at cars. Always had a good laugh with that
 
I like to get stuff and put it in my friends houses. I call it reverse burglary. It's mad funny when their like I came home and there was this inflatable shark and an old tube tv in my living room LOL.
 
some guy walked into me pretty hard last night at the club and tried to play it off as my fault because he was with a girl and pretty distracted. His hat fell off, I bent over and put it on my buddies head and walked away lol
 
Some guy "Odoyle" was running for something in maine fall 2010. I took the sign out of the yard and was running up to cars/blocking traffic and screaming odoyle rules at them.

I never found out if he won, but I'm sure I helped the cause.
 
13642071:supermagician__ said:
some guy walked into me pretty hard last night at the club and tried to play it off as my fault because he was with a girl and pretty distracted. His hat fell off, I bent over and put it on my buddies head and walked away lol
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hell ya bro nothin like stealin another bro's flat brim at da club
 
One time we were stealing packages off of peoples porches, and we see a huuuge long package (like, 6' long, 10" wide/deep) along with a smaller package that was about a cubic foot. That's gotta be some good shit right? Friend hops out, jacks the shit, I drive off. We get to the QFC nearby and open the packages. Huge long package was just some uuuuugly ass blinds. I mean ugly. Like, who the fuck bought these. Smaller package was fucking Christmas themed paper plates, one of those plastic cups with integrated straws, and a small box of assorted buttons. I want my money back.
 
13642221:Borty said:
Some guy "Odoyle" was running for something in maine fall 2010. I took the sign out of the yard and was running up to cars/blocking traffic and screaming odoyle rules at them.

I never found out if he won, but I'm sure I helped the cause.
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Awesome movie. Well done
 
13642224:Peter. said:
hell ya bro nothin like stealin another bro's flat brim at da club
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ayy not even in possession of it, it was a gift. a nice obey 5 panel for a friend!

that and if he wasn't a dick about the scenario I would have either picked it up for him, or just walked away.
 
13642313:Bamjam said:
One time we were stealing packages off of peoples porches, and we see a huuuge long package (like, 6' long, 10" wide/deep) along with a smaller package that was about a cubic foot. That's gotta be some good shit right? Friend hops out, jacks the shit, I drive off. We get to the QFC nearby and open the packages. Huge long package was just some uuuuugly ass blinds. I mean ugly. Like, who the fuck bought these. Smaller package was fucking Christmas themed paper plates, one of those plastic cups with integrated straws, and a small box of assorted buttons. I want my money back.
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so that is where my ugly blinds and party plates went....

you still got em?
 
13642313:Bamjam said:
One time we were stealing packages off of peoples porches, and we see a huuuge long package (like, 6' long, 10" wide/deep) along with a smaller package that was about a cubic foot. That's gotta be some good shit right? Friend hops out, jacks the shit, I drive off. We get to the QFC nearby and open the packages. Huge long package was just some uuuuugly ass blinds. I mean ugly. Like, who the fuck bought these. Smaller package was fucking Christmas themed paper plates, one of those plastic cups with integrated straws, and a small box of assorted buttons. I want my money back.
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you are the worst kind of people.
 
During homecoming this year we were throwing a pretty big tailgate and my buddy and i were walking back from the parade, and i guess all club cars have the same key. so we were walking back, nabbed this blue and orange boise state golf cart and parked it in the backyard of where the tailgate was.
 
I took a "Slow Skiing" sign a couple days ago on my mountains last day. Pulled that moo out of the snow, and booked it down the trail, pass ski patrol, and all the way to my car. It now hangs proudly in my college Apt.
 
I've stolen a pair of attack 13 bindings in September during a preseason tent sale, and a pair of spy goggles. I feel pretty bad, but it was from a douche store that has no idea about park shut and feeds off the local rich idiots who ski at Vail once a year
 
13660190:Corgy said:
I've stolen a pair of attack 13 bindings in September during a preseason tent sale, and a pair of spy goggles. I feel pretty bad, but it was from a douche store that has no idea about park shut and feeds off the local rich idiots who ski at Vail once a year
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You are an asshole.
 
13040414:ObiWanKablowme said:
walked out of a tbell with a neon pink "caution wet floor" sign
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my buddy stole the giant "open late" taco bell window sticker with tacos on it. He ripped that bitch right off and walked out.
 
Is it stealing if I paid for it... Even if what I paid was less than 1% of the listed price? Back when self checkouts were still a new thing, I managed to get a wicked discount on a DeWault Power Tool Combo Kit by first going to the plumbing section at the hardware store and finding a connector that had a sticker price tag. Peal off and stick on combo box, go to self checkout, scan tools and hear a alert... realize there is a security tag which require associate to remove said tag, begin to shit pants... associate simply removes tag and places tools in bagging section, once she's gone stuff my 2 dollars in to pay and gtfo of there. Few months later they installed cameras at the checkout and those weight sensors, guess I wasn't the only one with the genius idea.
 
I walked out of a bowling alley with a pair of bowling shoes and I'm not that upset about it????? they look fly as hell tbh
 
quality bump...

however, i did steal my friends kitten like a week after he got it. he was getting with a girl in his room so my instinct was to knock on his front door to see if his mom would let me in. she did. i walked right into his room as this girl is literally undressing him, took the kitten, and walked back outside to my car. he didnt really give a shit about the kitten and was more concerned about getting his nut so i kinda just drove the kitten around town for a while. twas lit
 
A gas station windshield squeegee? Unintentionally stole it - I defiantly didn't buy one, but I now have one... I'm guessing while getting gas I set it down in the the trunk as I was getting towels to check the oil level.
 
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