Funniest/Coolest thing you've ever stolen
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Bodhisattva_
Active member
13010319:daveyjones said:
Your friend is a fucking dick and lucky he didn't get caught. I fucking hate people that steal glass. He probably had no idea who blew it, or what the quality of the glass was or what it's true value was. Fuck your friend and fuck glass thieves.
Me personally, not a big thief. I just have never been okay with taking someone without giving anything in return. My friend however, not so. One of the funnier things he stole was 5 microwaves from a hotel in Wyoming when we were there for the weekend... There was an a empty hotel room down the hall full of extra stuff for rooms like microwaves, pillows, etc.. so he lockpicks the door and we used the bathroom in it as a smoking room all weekend and then when I get in the car to leave the motherfucker has 5 microwaves in his trunk thinking he could sell them at college. He failed to sell a single one and now I laugh at him for it.
Another awesome time was when he stole 4 half kegs and a full keg of some dank local brewed IPA and red beer (half kegs were IPA full was red beer, both dank and between 5-6%)
He mobbed around the back of the local beer distribution center, saw a couple pallets full o' kegs, and swooped a trunk full. We threw the fattest party I have ever hosted that night. Oddly enough, I had MY QP of dank stolen that night cuz I was too fucked up and forgot it in the garage for like 10 minutes. Fuck weed thief's too.
belden...
Active member
13040158:Thizzle. said:
dude but like you dont know who brewed that beer, what quality it was, or what its true value was. Fuck beer thieves... Shut up you fucking stoner.
Also walmart has a no chase policy so as long as you get it out the door they probably wont do anything, because theres a bigger chance of some lawsuit if someone gets hurt or something that would cost the company more than the item.
As for me a Jimmy Johns car sign, where we basically ordered it to a different dorm then ran and just ripped it off while the guy was inside. I also Always just open like chips or candy while shopping and just finish them while walking around and never pay for them.
shred-sesh
Member
So I've never stolen anything but I was with my friend when he stole a very large purple dildo. He did get caught stealing it. So it's on his record that he stole a purple dildo. That's pretty damn funny if you ask me
shred-sesh
Member
13040349:Mingg said:
Yesssss!!!!
E__
Active member
We needed a rug/carpet for our summer set-up last year and were driving around thrift stores and carpet shops looking for cheap/used/free carpets that they were throwing away or in the bins they have outside for those sort of things. After about 3 hours of stopping at various spots we came to this one carpet place and went up to the front desk to ask if they had any free and or cheap rugs they'd be willing to part with and the guy there just shrugged us off, acted like an asshole, and basically told us to fuck ourselves for being cheap.
So we started to exit the store. On the way in I saw their big mat outside of the door and figured that would work perfectly but never gave it a second thought until the asshole proved his assholeyness. So as my buddy and I started to exit I told him we should take their big mat outside. So I backed the car up just out of sight (the front desk can see out the front door, creating a tough scenario) so that we could pull the mat slowly from one side, being completely out of view and then toss it in the car and go.
I popped the trunk for him to throw it in and go but the guy's a bit of a numbskull in cases like this and fucking threw it through the passenger window. This greasy, mouldy, and wet rug smelt so bad, it was in my face I couldn't find my shifter let alone shift gears because the mat kept pushing the shifter forward (fuck standard in this instance). We booked it out of there only to get caught in the red light right next to the store. One guy who was next to us in the traffic was laughing his ass off. We drove for about 5 minutes then I went out to fix the mess and put it in the back. Summer sessions were good that year haha.
So we started to exit the store. On the way in I saw their big mat outside of the door and figured that would work perfectly but never gave it a second thought until the asshole proved his assholeyness. So as my buddy and I started to exit I told him we should take their big mat outside. So I backed the car up just out of sight (the front desk can see out the front door, creating a tough scenario) so that we could pull the mat slowly from one side, being completely out of view and then toss it in the car and go.
I popped the trunk for him to throw it in and go but the guy's a bit of a numbskull in cases like this and fucking threw it through the passenger window. This greasy, mouldy, and wet rug smelt so bad, it was in my face I couldn't find my shifter let alone shift gears because the mat kept pushing the shifter forward (fuck standard in this instance). We booked it out of there only to get caught in the red light right next to the store. One guy who was next to us in the traffic was laughing his ass off. We drove for about 5 minutes then I went out to fix the mess and put it in the back. Summer sessions were good that year haha.
ObiWanKablowme
Member
walked out of a tbell with a neon pink "caution wet floor" sign
Iliveinutah
Active member
a lama head, i saw some asshole wearing a whole lama suit so i snatched that shit and took off. can't tell you how many times i busted a nut in that thing. i gave it back and his still wears it. i win.
Bodhisattva_
Active member
13040277:belden... said:
You can shut the fuck up because it's a completely different scenario. I know people that collect glass that don't even smoke anymore. It's about the art. It's like if someone stole a fucking Picasso and said oh ya I stole some cool painting and hung it up in my house... Art has intrinsic value to people not to mention a set market value for a high end american made piece that you wouldn't know unless you have been in the glass market recently. And I'm guessing the dude who had a qp knows his glass and the kid who's friend stole it couldn't tell the difference between a $50 chinese bubbler and a Blueberry fade to clear wig wag bubbler that is worth more than his fucking life. Especially in the hands of someone who knows and appreciates it for what it is. So you shut the fuck up you judgmental thief piece of shit. I hope you steal someone's glass and they break your fucking teeth open with your shitty chinese bong that you probably have and think it rips the same as someone's high end glass. Fucking scrub.
As a matter of fact, fuck thieves in general. Yeah I benefited from my friend stealing kegs, but that was from a corporation who in the long run is not going to take a huge hit from missing a couple kegs. Stealing from individual people is straight fucked up and I can't believe there is even a thread about the "funniest thing you have stolen"
shred-sesh
Member
Wait i lied. I did steal something. bones swiss bearings, i wasn't about to pay $60 for them.
I stole (borrowed without asking) a paddleboat once. Cruised around a lake the whole night.
A couple days ago this guy i sort of knows actually stole a police boat. The thing was missing for about two days before they found it. The thing didn't even have a tracker on it, which is really weird because this wasn't just a regular boat with police written on it, it was custom made. The guy didn't get caught either, he just left the thing on a small dock somewhere. The police said they were just happy to find it!
A couple days ago this guy i sort of knows actually stole a police boat. The thing was missing for about two days before they found it. The thing didn't even have a tracker on it, which is really weird because this wasn't just a regular boat with police written on it, it was custom made. The guy didn't get caught either, he just left the thing on a small dock somewhere. The police said they were just happy to find it!
balzach
Member
I don't know if this is stealing or not but in december I went by the local skate/snowboard shop to buy some goggles and skullcandy cassettes. Goggles were on sale for $45 and the headphones where like $35. The women somehow fucked up the order and charged me $27 for all of it. I was pretty stoked walking out and I still have the receipt to this day
cameron_taylor
Member
3 boxes full of packets of Durex and 4 boxes of packets of gum from Tesco.
DasGoatenshafter
Member
My best heist was taking flags off of a big sign in a subdivision. Still have one hanging in my room. I also took 3 tablecloths from a bar because my apartment didn't have any, the odd glass from a bar, someones hard hat converted into a funnel... then all the candy and drinks from my youth.
shred-sesh
Member
13041965:Mingg said:
I'll help you steal it
Tinga
Active member
back in high school we had a buddy who had this pretty nice garage out building on his lot in the city. It made for awesome away from the parents slumber parties in the summer. one night we were hanging out and our buddy had to run to the grocery store with his parents and when he got back he called one of us and told us to come find him. he was standing in the middle of the intersection next to his house starring at a building across the street from his house. we're all like dude you should probably get out of the street and then we finally all see what he is so fixated on. the church across the street has this large vinyl banner hanging in the door way. it's bright pink and in bold white lettering it says PORN SUNDAY. so it's like seven pm at this point. we waited until about 2am and we ran over there and yanked our prize down. once down we were all like... well shit now what are we going to do with it. one of my friends hung it up in his room and his parents didnt seem to care for some reason. probably one of the only things ive ever really stolen.
CheddarJack
Active member
13040840:Thizzle. said:
First off, let me say that I respect your respect to the glass blowing industry a lot. It is an art and does take a lot of time, patience, and skill to create really nice glass.
That being said, did you really just compare drug paraphernalia to a Picasso??? I honestly laughed my ass off when I read that. Unless said weed pipe was in a fucking museum that comparison is a pile of horse shit. Let me make a better comparison for you: stealing a $400 bubbler is like stealing one of my neighbor's many watercolor paintings that he sold to a local gift shop. Better? Better. It's an impressive painting but it's by some random dude, just like whoever blew that glass, and has a made a whole lot more. Depending on the circumstances, he may have already made all the money from it too. You think these guys really care about the glass they make from the stoner documentaries on Netflix about glass blowing but that's mostly all just for publicity to make stoner kids spend their money on insanely overpriced glassware. It's their job and they do it to make money, not because their work holds so much "intrinsic value."
Back to your post: and then you really went downhill. It's okay to steal from large companies? What are you, a fucking communist?
Honestly, if you're going to hold so much interest in such an unrespected field of work, be prepared to be judged and hated on. And don't get so worked up about it. People come off as very unintelligent when they rant about drugs, whether you know your shit or not.
daannnnieel
Active member
13040158:Thizzle. said:
If you would have left it at this that would have been cool. Anyone who steals bongs should get fucking kneecapped.
Mind you, a few friends and I crashed a campout for the grade 11's and I ended up walking away from the fire with 9m glass, no idea who's it was and yeah. Asked around, no one else knew either, so I took it.
My buddy and I were talking to a guy in a shop at my hill. Buddy is looking at some goggles. Buddy takes goggles out of box. Goggles are now in pants. he drops the box on the floor ( I have no fucking idea why ) and we peace. Phr33 g0ggl3s
HamFaceGirl
Active member
13041036:Gaff said:
LOL 2 funny 4 me
rememberscott
Active member
13042188:KayngBayng said:
I'd steal your bong for fun and then break it ontop of your kneecap. you bitch. weed is bad
artfullydodged
Active member
This dude I used to ski with would frequently go to the cafeteria and dumb entire baskets of muffins/candy/whatever into his Oakley one-piece then walk out. I think he averaged like 10-12 muffins a trip. We ate like kings.
artfullydodged
Active member
Dump*
SkierPT
Active member
Had been looking for a big PVC pipe for a long time for skiing, like a green big one...you all know what I'm talking about. Anyways we found a beauty downtown in my town. All we had was a mini van and we really couldn't tell how long it was. We went at 2am and pulled the van behind the building it was at. Had to move some shit that was on top of it and oh shit, it's 20-25 feet long. All we have is a mini van. It's also white pvc and about an inch think. Took 3 people to lift it up. We tried putting it in the trunk and not closing the trunk but it was wayyyy too long. Ended up putting it through the passenger window and back through the van sticking out the trunk. So here we are with this huge ass pipe sticking way out of the passenger window at an angle and it also hanging out the back. Had to have a kid sit on it going up a hill so it wouldn't fall out. Damn thing weighs 100 lbs id say. Still shred that pipe to this day. So much worth
Bodhisattva_
Active member
13042117:CheddarJack said:
Picasso was a little overboard but I was just making the comparison that spending $400 on a bubbler by a well known and respected glass artist (ya people that don't smoke or collect glass wouldn't know, doesn't mean he isn't well respected in his trade) and having it stolen by someone who doesn't know the first thing about it is just bullshit. And yeah the guys pumping out production pieces are making money, and the guys doing heady pieces are making huge profits off of individual pieces, but most of them blew glass long before it became a huge industry. YOU think you know the industry because you saw Degenerate Art, that is not a super good portrayal of where glass is today. I have bought pieces and seshed and communicated with many glass artists, and an overwhelming majority of them blow glass because it is an interesting art form, and most of them are artists in other mediums as well. Not to mention the huge portion of glassblowing that is non-functional in pendants and marbles. There are people with $50,000 collections of glass, all by a certain artist or some just a certain technique, because they are interested in the art and the time and effort and technique put in behind it. Not to mention the thousands of people with diverse collections of pieces that they simply found appealing, that maybe they paid a certain amount because they feel that it is worth that much to them.
Also, it is still not okay to steal from a large company, but it is a lot less personal and harmful in my opinion. There was no individual experiencing a loss as there is in a personal item being taken. The company will not even notice 3 kegs missing, more probably fall off the truck in a month than that. The company can compensate for that without taking much of a loss at all. Whereas you steal that keg from someones garage, that guy paid his money for it and it's coming straight out of his pocket. And that seems a lot more shitty to me.
Bodhisattva_
Active member
http://www.zacslosthismarbles.com/
Check this out.
And then tell me that I am not completely valid in saying that it's completely fucked if someone who doesn't know shit about any of these marbles and says oh ya it looks cool, steals it from someone who bought it for numerous reasons such as they know and respect the artist, they respect the techniques used to create it, it holds special appeal to them in it's physical appearance, etc..
Oftentimes glass is a very personal item, and holds intrinsic value to the buyer as I said earlier. It's not something you can just go replace with a new one if it's genuinely a $400 bubbler.
Check this out.
And then tell me that I am not completely valid in saying that it's completely fucked if someone who doesn't know shit about any of these marbles and says oh ya it looks cool, steals it from someone who bought it for numerous reasons such as they know and respect the artist, they respect the techniques used to create it, it holds special appeal to them in it's physical appearance, etc..
Oftentimes glass is a very personal item, and holds intrinsic value to the buyer as I said earlier. It's not something you can just go replace with a new one if it's genuinely a $400 bubbler.
first_rodeo
Active member
got arrested by campus police and ran away with their handcuffs.
seward
Active member
13041965:Mingg said:
fuckin right i stole the first seward dr street sign i even came across.
i have no idea why, but almost everytime i go out for dinner, if there is hotsauce on the table, i take it.
ive got enough bottles of sriratcha to last my kids childrens kids life time.
edhonson21
Member
Cool you guys, ur all thieves.
edhonson21
Member
Cool you guys, ur all thieves.
danedil
Member
i worked at a shitty ski shopped this winter that basically jerked us around for hours the whole time and through out the year me and my buddy found out that there inventory system was a joke so i ended up with two pairs of goggles canopy and giros and a pair of skis.... dont feel the slightest bit bad about it