Fucking life

Big_Willy

Active member
I cant fucking take it anymore. Life is soooooo beyond fucked up right now. 2 of my best friends are leaving me. Ones choosing to live a different life and one is not satisfied how I am living mine and since I dont want to change I dont think he cares anymore. Im going crazy. The whole world is coming down on me, like theres no way out. Seriously theres even worse shit I cant even talk about, too paranoid. I can see where my life is going and I have an idea of what I need to do, but its almost impossible to do that, and it means becoming a different person, something fake and shitty. This is so hard, but fuck I cant talk to anyone, every avenue is a dead end, I have to get it out tho. FUCK THIS FUCK THIS FUCK THIS! I smoked up last night, dont call me lame but I fucking saw so much shit so clear. Its like I saw everything that I am too scared to face when Im sober. Im having all these thoughts and realize Im all alone and my friends that I thought were the shit left me seriously out in the cold and I saw through all the bullshit. I saw reality, not this peachy illusion I was living. I also realized something I had been kicking around for like years. I also saw something so incredibly great that tears ths shit out of me, like my insides are ripping apart. Like we all dream of being pro skiers, its kinda like I have the chance but cant touch it, but its soo there. Man everything has come to a boiling point lately, its not the bud, that just clears some things up (not fucked up now, and Im not just some crazy stoner, I know whats real and whats not, weed doesnt even have much to do with this situation even). I hate this, I dont know what to do. Im not gonna off myself or nothin but if I didnt get this out somewhere its gonna kill me inside. I really didnt want to say anything and im prolly gonna get a wierdo rep but I seriously dont know where to go. So sorry for posting this but fuck I gotta deal with this shit in some manner. Oooooohhh fuck I shouldnt psot this but if it will help in some way I say fuck it. Dont be weirded out by this I just had to do something, be happy if you dont feel like this, be happy if you have an idea of what you want of life, be happy if you are livin it, be happy if you go for what you want, be happy if you have what you want. Whoah that was deep, but fuck thats me take it or leave it. Feeling better now, man that post sounds kinda freaky, shiiiiiiiiit. I wish I could say more of what I really feel. Well, balls to the walls its posting time.

 
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Dude, I know how it feels, I had to leave ALL of my friends when my step father throw me out of the house....

I couldnt understand why it was happening to me and I tought it was the end of my life...

But, life as continued, I met new peoples and got to know who were my real friends.

Dont worry, someday, everything will get back to normal..

Just wait, and see.

Your signature has been changed to: (trust me, the '' things aren't actually there)

President of the crazed posting brother of NS.com

I'm feeling greeaaaattt!!!!
 
glad you got that out man.... it's not good to keep things inside, it'll destroy you. Stay cool, Time seems to solve most problems.. just hang in there, it'll get better!!!

 
yeah eventually things'll work out...I thought it was the end of my life when I switched schools a few years back...its cool now, my lifes pretty good

 
Attitrash.....Fuck you. If I ever meet you in real life I am going to kick the living shit out of you. This guy just pours his heart out and that is all you have to say? Go to hell!.

In response to the actual post...Hang in there dude. I kinda know what you are going through. Things will start to improve, you just have to give it time. And stuff may seem bad now but you have to look at the future. And hey if you ever need to talk and I am online then my aim is: matthewDEnns0579......and MSN is matthew_enns0579@hotmail.com. If you need it then its there bro. Hope things start looking up for you.

Peace,

Matt

'If there's grass on the field then play ball'

~~Phunkin' Phatt Phreerider~~
 
word

And dude, I also kinda know what's up, been there a bit myself too, sure it sucks. But hang in there dude. Nothing is every too hard. Even when absolutley everything is turning to custard, hey, at least it can only get better right. So your friends left you, you thought they were great, stink one man, That's happened to me a couple times too, it's a great learning experience too, you learn to choose your brahs much more carefully and who you trust and all. And there's totally heaps of guys on here who'd be here for you, my aim is PhattTim, peace bro, hope it starts looking up for you buddy.

~~Phunkin' Phatt Phreerider~~

*SkierX IS A STUD MUFFIN*

 
Yea, dude, if you want to talk about sad stuff, you can chat with me on msn, my adress is

advilfort@hotmail.com

President of the crazed posting brother of NS.com

I'm feeling greeaaaattt!!!!

 
Ok, i sorta know what you're feeling too. Believe me, it'll all get better. Just don't do anything studpid,a nd go out and tackle life with the same tenacity as before.

And my AIM is BigAirSkier1580. i'll talk with ya sometime if ya need it. And EFCS Attish, not cool. Support this brah and say someting useful.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

~~~~Phunkin' Phatt Phreerider~~~~

~'My huck doll does them in heaps, he's pretty fly'

PhattTim

~Peace~Love~Unity~Snow

~AIM Name= BigAirSkier1580
 
Thanks guys, all I can say is that I really appreciate the support. Good thing to know there are people out there I can share my shit with. I cant wait to take all this shit out on the slopes, I mean lately I have felt no emotion for skiing but I think itll be cool to just bust out huge and have some fun maybe.

Thanks

 
are you still in high school? if not you should just move. go out west and be a ski bum for a year or two, meet new people that have the same intrests as you, and just get away from it all. Or not.....

why is it everytime i go to give someone advice it always involves them going skiing? Damnit - Marc was right - I suck at giving advice.

Darryl Hunt

aka - highschool

~Phuckin' Phat Phreerider in training~
 
I could just tell you the cookie cutter responsies: 'Hang in there' 'It will turn out all right' 'you were too good for them'

But, I know that those don't do much good. I would advise you to find one thing that takes your mind off everything (no not drugs) like skateboarding, skiing, or anthing else. And just do that any day that just went really bad. Also even if your not good at writing (that post was pretty good) you should look into wrting songs or just essays, that way you can get it all out. You don't have to show them to anyone or anything. Also just listening to music can change your view and loves in life. When I hurt my arm over the summer and they told me I had a 40% chance that It wouldn't work for the rest of my life I just had to do something (no skiing, aggressive inline etc.). I took up bass and found some people I could talk to it about and after about 2 weeks I started to see the other 60% or the possibility that it would turn out allright. And for the record, it did turn out fine, my arm is almost back to normal.

Tele-Jibber

~Phunkin

~Phat

~Phreerider

 
what can I tell you bud.....

as you noticed everyone of us has aither gone or going through this in our lifes......

the trick is get yourself involved in shit....it will take your mind of shit and maybe even show you there are 6 billion on the face of the earth and all of them need friends.....

 
u know what time odes not heal everything... look i feel for u man but time doesnt do shit, time just makes u forget if u got problems go out and fix em, and i know what u mean about if u so the things to fix certain things u wont be u anymore, well then truthfully those are not problems... society has just brainwashed u into thinking they are, find out what u really love in life and find someone u love and go out, acctually forget finding someone u love cuz love is too fucking painful and ur proly not ready to deal with it, hell 99% of ppl arent ready to deal with it... just fin the thing u love and dont worryu about making money and pleasing other ppl, if they dont support u in what u do tell them to leave u alone... it is ur life and ur the only one that has total control over it... and i know its hard to do this stuff but its so worth it, trust me...

-=member of the crazed posting bros=-

'I would not feel so all alone, everybody must get stoned'

-Bob Dylan
 
there's a billion things I wanna say right now, so I hope this doesn't come out all jumbled. I can't say I've been through or know exactly what you're talking about- but I kinda got a feeling. I've been through some shit in life, a lot of changes (family stuff, schools, friends... name it). I used to be (not really depressed) but kinda sad a lot. I used to depend on people a lot, boyfriends and friends and other people to make me happy... Anyways I've completely done a 180. I'm really involved at my new school, I've met a ton of awesome new people, I'm doing new things (writing poetry and performing, newschool skiing...) and for the first time I can say I'm 100% happy. And once you can say that, you'll have SO much fun. Confidence and carefree-ness (?), and smiling all the time and a really good sense of who you really are and everything else will follow along after. I think it really just has to do with becoming entirely independent, realizing that only you can make yourself happy (corny, but true). Once you get over that hump, everything is all good. It's fun, you can run around and be crazy and people will think you're insane but it's okay cause you're having fun. God this sounds like I'm some all-knowing buddha or something, but this is just my opinion/experience. And by the way I really admire a guy that can totally open up like that. You rock! And to everyone else, I'm glad there really is a family here we can all turn to, you guys had great advice and responses (except for that one guy)... It's like we all have a bunch of big brothers we can always count on to protect and comfort us. :) well you know what I mean. You guys all rock! Peace.

--------------------

charley ;)
 
Everybody feels like that once in a while. It's true, even the prettiest of people such as myself feel ugly at times, but it's these things in life that build strength and character. I found at my lowest point that poetry helped a lot. I posted a couple on this site, and when people tell you how good it is, you get a little push of confidence. Find some way to express yourself, and spend time with friends.... and yes your family are friends, and so are we.

 
all i can say is that everyone on ns.com is ur friend and we havent left you so you still have a ton of friends

get off your computer..... go ski

rehab is for quiters

 
Wow. I don't even know what to say. Everyone who has replied to this dude (with exception to atittash who is an asshole) rules. Seriously... this guy poured his heart out..and so many people came out with advice and encouragement. That says alot about the the people who post here. You guys rule.

As for the original post...i could copy that and post it myself....i totally know where you're coming from. I'm confused about everything. I feel like i can't trust anyone and like nobody is there for me. Smoking weed helps clear things up for me too, but friends are still very important. If you need someone to talk to, i'm on msn all the time. new_school_trickery@hotmail.com Feel free to msg me about anything...i don't always have advice, but i'm always willing to listen so you can at least get it out.

 
dude Willy, how you doin' now man?? Good?? All your brahs' are totally here for you dude, there's some of us on 24 hours a day man, anytime.

~~Phunkin' Phatt Phreerider~~

*SkierX IS A STUD MUFFIN*

 
You guys rule. Im feeling a bit better, Im doin a lot of shit and lookin to ski or something. I didnt know how much this would help but puttin some of my feelings out and all your support just kicks ass.

 
Good to hear you are feeling a bit better dude. It will continue to get better and better as you talk more about it and just take time to get everything figured out.

Peace,

Matt

'If there's grass on the field then play ball'

~~Phunkin' Phatt Phreerider~~
 
totally brah, you'll get all fixed up inside and it'll be sweet as dude. All the best aye man, and remember, anytime you wanna chat there's dudes ready to listen. Hope everything continues to go phatt.

~~Phunkin' Phatt Phreerider~~

*SkierX IS A STUD MUFFIN*

 
and, Big_Willy, don't forget to wear your helmet when you go hucking! a word of advice from me and all the sick dudes/chicks on ns.com.

Fear is the mind killer!
 
It's cool too 'cause if you have all this crazy emotion inside, you can progress a lot faster on the hill.

I think drugs do not necessarily make things clearer, but rather they force you to deal with things that are buried deep within.

I'm surprised at how many people here have gone through something so similar. I have too.

At a certain point, I just had to stop, give the rest of the world the finger, turn around and run in my own direction.

Lost most of my friends, my life I'd built, money... you name it.

But damn, am I happy now.

Just go with what you know you want inside man.

Drunk, hooked on crack, lying in the gutter curled around my skis in the fetal position wearing nothing but the head of a chicken suit.

Damn I hate fall.
 
Drugs can also have the reverse effect too which can be really negative. drugs can put stuff away for the time and make it so you don't have to deal with the problems. Eventually they'll just surface again.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

~~~~Phunkin' Phatt Phreerider~~~~

~'My huck doll does them in heaps, he's pretty fly'

PhattTim

~Peace~Love~Unity~Snow

~AIM Name= BigAirSkier1580
 
yeah man, totally, as MDFresh said, sometimes you gotta turn around and make a change, and it can damn well hurt too but look at him, he's stoked. Same with me when I changed too, it's all good brah, and wear a skid lid, totally.

~~Phunkin' Phatt Phreerider~~

*SkierX IS A STUD MUFFIN*

 
ya, now all doug has to be sad about is when he slides his carpet rail and jumps on his trampoline 24/7...than i come over after being off my game for a few weeks and school him on the trampoline.....and when the winter comes I'll be schooling him on the rails even though he's had all that practice on his carpet rail...i pitty him really.

Darryl Hunt

aka - highschool

~Phunkin' Phat Phreerider~
 
Ohhhh,,, poor dug gettin' schooled on both rails AND tramp. I'll take out HighSchool for ya Doug!

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

~~~~Phunkin' Phatt Phreerider~~~~

~'My huck doll does them in heaps, he's pretty fly'

PhattTim

~Peace~Love~Unity~Snow

~AIM Name= BigAirSkier1580
 
if you are skiing, there is hope for you yet.

Lisa-You're a baboon!

Homer-Me? what did you say?

Lisa-BABOOOOOON!!!!!
 
i think we all have gone through something like this, i think it's part of life. it's the suckiest part though. it's HELL and whoever's in charge up there should take it out of the line of catastrophies we all go through. i am really thankful for this site. when things fall apart i have someone to talk to. talking things out make problems seem smaller and you feel better.

good luck and take care.....

-------------------------------------------------

picky people pick peter pan peanut butter, 'tis the peanut buttr picky people pick.
 
I totally know where you are coming from man.. You just need to realize that no matter what you think maybe they aren't the people you really want to be around. The quicker you do that the quicker your life will get back on track.

~~Phunkin' Phatt Phreerider~~
 
Damn i just read that post and was in shock..i mean you just poured everything into a forum on some web site and look at the response you got! It really shows how much this site and the people on it kick ass!I have never been more proud to be a member of this site! there are so many people here that have been throught the same thing and that can help you out. So dont worry we are all your friends here!

Unity....... word up!!!
 


first off, props to you big_willy. it ain't easy sharin' stuff like that but that's what new school is all about. putting raw emotion and feeling into everything we do.

second respect to all for making newschoolers.com the place it is so that willy could feel comfortable sharing that.

now......i won't even pretend to know how you feel brother but i'm 24 years old, done the highschool thing, done the college thing, done lots of that work thing, done the in and out of trouble thing, and i still don't know shit 'bout what i wannna do. granted i'm new to this new school movement (only found it last xmas) but right here, right now, this is what i want. as a result i've seen friends go and new ones come. the best i can say is ...go wit da flow...your true friends will stick with you no matter what and the rest can get bent.there's always something to be happy 'bout (for most of us it's wakin' to fresh pow-pow or checkin' that perfect line on the ride up the lift) but whatever floats your boat go with it and enjoy everthang g.

L8s

-so there i was with thousands of oars and no boat-
 
i can relate to this cause i'm going through it right now...my grandpa just died and my parents are going through this thing...but the whole time i have had my friends there for me...the really helped me out. it's really hard cause my dad showed up at my school, took me outside and told me my grandpa had died. i mean, i had been around him since i was born, and i didn't know what to do...then a couple weeks later my mom tells me and my sister that we're going to my grandma's for a while. life really sucks sometimes, but i think that it is a part and we all have to go through it...just my thoughts.

**To resist is to piss in the wind...Anyone who does will end up smelling** -Incubus

**Check out the new line of Freezing Point gear at www.freezingpoint32.com**

**Perfects is projected to open on December 14.**
 
well while we're at it i kinda wanna get some shit off my chest. like group theripy........so i'm just chillin and illin, keeping things real and then all of a sudden shit goes all bad like a couple weeks ago, of course i took care of it and faced the music. but i was gonna be going to jail, i fear imprisonment.....so it's all weird, i would rather die then have someone be able to do whatever they want to me whenever. but yea so i was thinking aobut it a lot and it was tearing me up. so i just decided to be in a drunken/stoned state until i had to do it. and you tell you the truth, it helped man. i've been drunk of my ass the past week and it was fun. i remembered why i liked who i am and why i hung with the kids i do, i can be myself around them and i can fuck some shit up and they don't care. it was fun. anyway, i gues what i'm trying to get at is: shit happens man, you're gonna have to face it.......it's cool to cry man, i've had some shit where it just busted out and i couldn't do anything but sit there. but what you gotta do is be able to let that shit out in some way.....hit something, get all emotional, hump a pillow.....whatever floats your boat......just gotta release it. can't keep all your shit to yourself your whole life, and i'm sure people will listen to you. damn dude i'm mr. advice today.

'We're pro choice, we think everyone should have the right to smoke pot or not' - Sublime

'If you don't like my fire, then don't come around. Cuz I'm gonna burn one down!' - Ben Harper
 
dude, you're so right, there's gotta be a way to deal with stuff and it's rad that you've found a way to get it out. Stoked for you brah and I hope that you get all your stuff sorted out too. Talk anytime you want brah, I'm always on. And there's totally totally no shame at all in crying, word to that my brother. Sometimes when it all gets to me too much I sit down and have a cry, just can't help it aye. It's a damn good release and it gets you thinkin' straight usually, it's all good. Talking to people is good, talk to a bunch of dudes and get a good overal picture of what a lot of people think, make careful informed decisions and you should be fine, just use your head and when you're in way over your head and it seems like you're sinking, swim harder brah, there's nothing ever too deap that you can't pull yourself out of. find stuff that means a lot to you, something to imspire or look up to. religion, drugs, drink, chicks, mountains, skate parks, as Chris said it 'whatever floats your boat' Word brother

~~Phunkin' Phatt Phreerider~~

*SkierX IS A STUD MUFFIN*

 
Well....this seems like the best place to let everything out....everyone in here rules. Basically...lately i felt like i've forgotten who i am. I'm acting totally different then i have in the past. Damn..this might get long. Growing up...i was super super shy...i had hardly any friends, people made fun of me for what seemed to be no reason....i basically became afraid to talk to anyone out of fear that they'd make fun of me. It took until i was 16 to make friends. I found myself in a group where for the most part, i could just be myself. They rarely judged me, and always let the dumb things i say slide. I sorta managed to pull myself out of my lonely rut and actually almost feel accepted. Everything has suddenly changed. I started going out with this girl...she's 4 years younger then me. I knew her fairly well...she's my friends sister (cardinal sin..i know). Well...she's 16, and totally different then how i was when i was 16. Everyone likes her, tonnes of friends and pretty much the oposite of how i was. Everything started off great...but then after a couple months...i started getting depressed. I watched her enjoying her teen years, i started feeling like i'd missed out. I started reverting back to how i used to be. I couldn't talk to her...i became totally afraid of what other people think of me. I started taking stupid risks again in an lame attempt to impress people. I tried desperatly to keep going with her...but she broke it off with me after i pretty much couldn't talk to her anymore. This started 2 months of agony. I'm clinging to the past like crazy..just wanting to do my life over again. I feel like i've missed out on everything. All my friends are gone to university, and in a couple years...i'll probably never see most of them again. I find that i can't enjoy the present...because i just dwell on the past. I can't seem to let it go. I also can't stop thinking about this girl. I really like her...but everytime i try talking to her...i just end up making everything worse. Everyday i think to myself...if i just end it now, maybe there is such thing as a second chance. I'm almost willing to find out....but unfourtunatly i'm cursed with survival instincts that wouldn't let me do anything too stupid.

I've tried turning to my friends...but nothing seems to help. Nothing makes these thoughts go away...i can't seem to think positivly about anything at all. All my memories that i have are all negative...any time i try to remember anything positive that has happened in my life...i feel like i have to search...i usually end up just remembering a girl that got away....or something that i wish i'd done differently.

I'm being overly emotional about everything. Anytime someone rips on me...i take it personally ..even if it was just an innocent joke. I haven't done this since i was 16. Any sense of humour i had about myself that's left is pretty much 'i'm so fucking stupid...hahaha'. I'll do something like, write an email to my ex, i'll KNOW it's a bad idea to send it...i'll tell myself not to..but then i do it anyways...as though i have no control over myself. It's like something else is controlling my life...it's like i'm not even 'here' anymore.

thanks guys for making this a place where i can get this stuff out..

 
Heck brah, that's intense. Just remember, It's never so so bad that you can't turn it all around. Giving up and seeing if there is a second chance afterwards would be really bad dude. Sucks real big when people do that. Some see it as a cowardly way out. I don't, I think there are times when people get so sad and so snowed under that they just can't take it anymore. And fair enough too, but my philosphy is what goes down, goes up, stupid? maybe, but I've had my highs and lows just like you guys. I've thought the same things and you know what? It does get beter. And it will get beter....if you make it. One thing that I try and do is to forget the past. We all know that there is absolutley totally nothing we can do to change it, so why think about it so much? That's my philsophy anyway. I mean sure we've all done flippin' dumb things in our past but you gotta move on, hanging onto the past just makes you sad and dwel on things you wish you'd done differently. Look forward to the future, reach out and grab it and make it work for you. People look back and say, dude, those were the best years of my life - that pisses me off. You're still alive, every year should be the best year of your life. Make the most of everything life throws at you and go hard in everything. Just have faith in yourself and you can move mountains. Peace.

~~Phunkin' Phatt Phreerider~~

*SkierX IS A STUD MUFFIN*

 
Dude, all i can say is that you should definately talk with your ex, just commit, do not care about the consequence, this way, you'll be able to be yourself.

I know it seem really hard, but it will help you a lot.

For your friends, just try to go in bars and chat with peoples, you,ll meet new people and hopefully find peoples who can help you.

I would really like to talk with you about it but I have to go, just message me as soon as you,ll see me online..

Talking about it will help you, believe me.

President of the crazed posting brother of NS.com

I'm feeling greeaaaattt!!!!

 
Ok since everyone else is posting their problems I'll post one of my smaller but annoying ones:

Ok, so I liked this girl and we went to a few movies and stuff like that. She turned out to be really cool, but she didn't like me 'that way'. So for the last few weeks we have been good friends. I see this as a good thing except that every time I talk to her and get reminded of how cool she is I think back to why she didn't like me and get kinda depressed/confussed. And now I think she likes one the pot-head skaters at my school, but I don't want her to get into that lifestyle. So, I feel protective over her, but I don't know why, and I feel that I am just being judgemental and trying to controal her. I hate it when people do that to me so why do I do it to her? I don't even know why I do things anymore. I am partly becoming what I hate. But, yet I can't seem to stop it at all. I'm guessing I should probibly just talk to her about it but I'm really worried that that will turn her off to our friendship and I want to at least have some connection.

I dunno, I just need to take a break from girls in general, it's just too confusing to try and figure out what they want, and now figuire out what I want, and why...

Taylor

Tele-Jibber

~ Phunkin' Phatt Phreerider ~

 
hey guys...i just wanted to let you all know that i feel damn good right now...about everything. You know why.....yep, cause today, the lord found me. HE came to me and said, 'steve, you shall no longer feel this pain' and he saved me. The lord is ma SALVATIOOOOOOOONNNNNNBWAHAHAHAHAHAHAH....riiight.

Soooooo i did have something to say. And obviously i am feeling pretty good right now. What i posted above? I copied that, and wrote a bit more, and sent it to a really good friend of mine....her response...was overwhelming. She wrote this huge email back to me, full of encouragment advice and thoughts.....i dunno...but after a couple hours.....i suddenly felt....different....like this weight had suddenly lifted off my shoulders. It's weird...it might only be temporary....but today ...i felt great....i felt like my old self again. I'm laughing without feeling like i'm forcing it....i can think about stuff that usually bothers me...without it bothering me...like i just sorta...let go. I weird.....i hope this isn't temporary.....it feels so good. crazyness..

I just wanted to thank you guys....if this place wasn't here, and if you guys just didn't care...i wouldn't have written my thoughts and feelings down like that...and i probably wouldn't feel this good right now. Thanks guys.

 
hey jibs...i really hope everything works out. i KNOW you can be the person you are. don't fret, man. just keep trying.....

-----------------------------------------------

AntAdam: soy milk is a lot better for you

freestylesupreme: cow milk is the BEST....i'm going skiing. go drink your goat milk.
 
tele, if this girl is your freind and respects you, tell her what youthink about her liking this guy, if she really likes you as a freind, she should take your advice into consideration. if she doesnt and blows you off, then i wouldnt worry about losing her

LD CREW
 
I'm impressed, everyone here I have lots of respect for.

Here are my 2 cents-

September of last year I was stricken with a burst appendix. For the next few months I was in and out of the hospital. I spent so many night in the ER its not even funny. At one point I just wanted to die. It wasn't worth the CAT-scans, pain, surgery, and drain tubes that were in my body. I hated the world and everyone in it. I had just moved out a few months earlier and my financial problems were growing. With help from my family and friends I recovered to were I could actually compete again. Now collection agencies are garnishing 25% of what I take home every week. What I am trying to say is life is a battle of wills. I will succeed,so will you. A friend gave me a litte advice once. LIFE IS 10% WHAT HAPPENS TO YOU AND 90% HOW YOU TAKE IT. No matter what happens you have friends here or at home; thats what they are there for. peaceveryone.

Late-JD

 
i think it is cool how people can post there problems here and with one exception not have to worry about what people will say about them here. and good luck to everyone with problems

 
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