Dumbest thing you've ever done when drunk

cab_D

cab_D

Active member
when i was in Nelson this past season i was totally blind drunk walking home from the bar. At the time i was going through a stage of intense freestyle walking.

So, my friend told me i was running over the road then i tried a cork 7 off the curb. I landed on the curb right on my chin. Then i got 6 stiches in my chin and hour later. Not the most intelegent thing i've ever done that for sure.

 
I once woke up in a different pair of boxers than I was wearing the night before, and all my clothes were soaking wet and there were huge fucking puddles on my floor. I have no fucking idea what happened, but I'm pretty sure it wasn't piss because 1) there was way too much of it and 2) it didn't smell. All my clothes were wedged in weird places, too... I had to move furniture to get them out.

In Mexico, I was on a bus back from the clubs in Cancun and I was singing songs (including the Canadian national anthem and the "full house" theme) with some drunk canadian guys for like 20 minutes. People tell me I hit a girl in the face with my elbow when I got off the bus, but I don't remember that part. I also ran full speed into a wall I thought I could jump over (this was a different night).

I've never hurt myself, though... I guess I'm lucky.

_________________________________________
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i never wash my hand. hell, i eat pizza while i'm taking a shit.

-seanPISTOL
 
postring on this forum.

"You know, I'm sick of following my dreams man. I'm just gonna ask them where they're going, and hook up with them later."

R.I.P. Mitch Hedberg
 
i brought my boyfriend, who was more wasted than i was.... which was very wasted, to go take a leak and he was like comatosed drunk so i was unzipping his pants for him and helping him gather his bearings and piss, and he pissed on my arm. it was horrible later he puked on my new shoes.

a week later i was at his house puking up a lot of jose and he dragged me to bed and insisted that i lay down and go to sleep, even though i was still sick. and i got the spins really bad from laying down and tried to get up to run to the bathroom but he tried to stop me. so i puked all over his upper body and his bed.

-Lauren
 
threw a maglight flashlight through the front window of a house.

---------------------
-

Good Fun With A Hand Gun

Sacadelic
 
i tried walking home from the bars downtown (only like 6 blocks) to my house after i had been drinking free after hours with a buddy til 330. i woke up in some yard in the morning with no phone. i had no idea where i was so i sat on a curb. then a cop pulled over in front of me and was like wtf are you doing? then he gave me a ride home in the back of the cruiser.

I would rather discover a single fact, even a small one, than debate the great issues at length without discovering anything at all. -- Galileo Galilei, c. 1640

 
i called my friends girlfriend a stupid cunt, and my friend was right there, then i said shut up, and started rap battling the dog.

__________________

put on whatever makes you attractive

if it's not you then do it for the sake of fashion

your friends like a certain you

that's who you've got to be
 
hahaahahaha

Jeremy

There's plenty of room for all of God's creatures. Right next to the mashed potatoes.

I'd rather be rich than stupid.
 
Got drunk, ran to McD's thought is was a god idea, puked all over the counter.

Matman10: Man lat you had that 7 down but you binder poped off

Laterails:Yeah i think they aren't adjusted, or it could be the fact that all that is holding them together is one of my pubes
 
well.. it was earlier in this yr ( senior yr) and i went down to the college im going to next yr to stay the night after a xc meet . I passed out after that race b/c i was wicked dihydrated n i was on some crazy medicine which is a whole nother story and was taken to the red cross tent for a couple hours.. but my friend talked me into still going to mount (the college) b/c phi tau was having a theme party soo we get down there... and little did i know, while i was passed out the mount xc coach had come to watch me run and was over with me by the redcross while i was passed out and i had no clu.. so im dirnknig at my friends house b4 the football game and i was gettin pretty drunk and i was amused by the glasses we were drinking out of and my friend was telling me how they were unbreakable and i was like thats bullshit... they said if u break them the company send a whole nother set... so i gget the BRILLIANT idea to break some to get like 4 new sets... sooo another one of my friends was down there with his huuuge truck so i decide lets runn them over...

1st try.. the cup rolls outa the way

2nd try.. i decide to hold the cup at the end while he runs it over.. the cup bendsin an ovall.. but didnt tecnically break

3rd try.. (backing up) the cup shatters into like 10 pieces cutting my hand my knee and cheek.

I was fine not terribley bad cuts and everyone was laughing b//c im retarded and now he gets a new set of cupps .. so we go to this party and everything from here i was mostly just told what happend... apparently i meet the xc girls from mount.. and they told there coach i was there and she thinks im a crazy drunk now.. i was dancing on top of a table? hah i dunno with my friend and i lose blanace and on the opposite side of my face inwhich the cut is i get a black eye

at another party one time there were tiresjust laying around.. and i decided to sit them up like vertically and see who could stand on them the longest.. resulted in black eye n cut elbow n broken glass table ( but it was shittty anyways)

in december i got anooother black eye from from trying to pole vault with PVC pipe or w/e its called over a beeramid

tag team wrestling this spring we put a hugeee hole in a wall in a house that was up for sale

 
decited to go to sleep on my stairs couse they looked comfy at the time. woke up the next morning (on the stairs) with mad rugburn from falling from the top

So I told him if you say that again im gonna stick this bowl of gucamole up your ass.

Long story short, that is the worst bowl of gucamole iv'e ever tasted
 
once me and my friends thought it would be a good idea to go to wataburger at like 4 in the morning, i was hungry as balls, and so we got there and they tell me i cant go inside because i didnt have a shirt or shoes,(where my shirt or shoes went i have no idea to this day) so i start rumaging around myfriends car for something to wear and i find a huge roll of bubble rap, so long story short i rapped myself in a ton of bubble rap, walked in ordered sat by some people i didnt even know and ate

better to wrap yourself in the constitution and burn the flag, than wrap yourself in the flag and burn the constitution

witness/activist in the great spamming of
 
funnest thing: 12:30 at the lake.. got the bright idea to take the boat out and try wakeboarding in the dark with a flood light. driver was wasted to. so we scratched that idea after a few attempts. screamed across the lake because we heard somebody's party, we were out of beer, so we decided to steal some of their free stuff. did that, the owner of the cottage was a landscaper and had gator's (cross between dump-truck and 4 wheeler).. we got on one of those discretlet and got it stuck in a tree. -- it was a cougar party too, we were a bit out of place. Soaking wet after the wakeboarding - good party crash though.

Dumbest always invlove drinking and driving:

night before leaving for university for my first year, it was a sunday. my buddy and I (he wasn't going to school) went out to the a party, got totally trashed- the type when you have to close one eye to drive - got into the car, it was raining a bit. so we decided it would be a good idea to see how our rally driving skills were. 100k u-turns on main street, got a flat tire. went back and got his shit car (unlicensed) put donuts on the rear 2 wheels and did burnouts.

 
i live in england and last weekend me and some buds found bike, so we rode that into the resevoir and that was like 50 degrees so really cold, and then I jumped off this bridge but it wasnt that high so, Not too stupid

"if you feel like going for an hour vacation to sea world then go for the one on the right cuz god damn shes the size of a fucken whale"-lat

J-crew represent

 
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAh lol that wa the funiest damn thing i have heard so far that was fucking great i wish i could have seen you rap battle the dog.

www.highsocietyfreeride.com

your a good friend...to throw rocks at. TL.

AWwwh you picked her up, I was gonna mount her. stu

Man created alcohol, God created weed. Who do you trust?

 
ummm... was talkin to my girlfriend at like 1 am and passed out as she was tellin me a story.

--------------------------------

....shor
tly after having snowballs thrown at him.....

"ahhh, f*ck, I dropped my c*ck."-phil@thepeaks

"What, how, u should have it , noone else is holdin it for you."-Jamie

think that a blind man cannot see, and a def. man cannot hear, and what world they cannot comprehend. then think, what sense do we all lack, what world may we all be blind to, what world may we not be able to comprehend- Dune

 
threw a champagne bottle at the neighbors house at my family reunion after drinking with my cousinss, yea i'm 19, yea i broke part of thier pool

i've done alota stupid shit though

 
pounded a half full bottle of chew spit.

"You know, I'm sick of following my dreams man. I'm just gonna ask them where they're going, and hook up with them later."

R.I.P. Mitch Hedberg
 
I knocked some dudes hat off and pushed him infront of his gf. He was 50 pounds heavier than me and sober... I got my ass handed to me.

'I like long walks on the beach...sipping champagne by the fire...gutting dear... (Tweaks_Rock_me)

"Silly faggot, dicks are for chicks." (Skierman)
 
one time on my way home i passed out in the front lawn of our highschools guidance counsellor and pissed all over her lawn and she saw me. later that day when my friend told me i did that i felt awkward cuz on monday morning i had an appointment with her.

'dont jizzz in a hot tub youll have sperm the size of salmon in a week.'

-Astomp17

My time is winding down.............just wait for it
 
List of stupid things I've done while drunk:

-tried to ride a bmx bike at night with sunglasses on and backpack full of beer. crashed immediately and scraped up my face and arms

-ruined a hardwood floor by pouring kitty litter all over it "to gain traction for dancing"

-kicked down mailboxes as I walked down the street

-took home a cat in an empty pabst box

-played with a saw and sawed my thumb

-puked in bed while asleep twice

-lost wallet, keys, digital camera, ipod, cell phone twice

-drunk dialed my mom

-ran from the cops and ended up in sticker bushes on at least 3 occasions

-drove a car numerous times

-drove a car in the snow

 
I had sex with my best friends sister saturday night and we were pretty drunk. If he finds out I'm dead. She was being really loud and he was down stairs so I had to cover her mouth.

 
let's see, i've woken up in my own vomit which apparently all came out while i was sleeping. and then this one time i was on my friends back porch deck thing and i was talking on the phone to a friend and i was like "i have to pee" and she was like "ok pee" and so i did. i peed all over the back deck. luckily it rained the next day

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......."Wh
at's a fuckass?"
 
gone skating in the middle of the night

,',',',',',',',',',',',',',',',',',

stickers dont stick after they've been stuck
 
tried biking home.. man that was an adventure

stick that in your pipe and smoke it!

-Justin

(dfp represent)

keep it real.
 
I'm only 16 so I've only been to like what, a thousand parties. I hold da liquor well though. I'd say the dumbest thing I've done was vandalized, and um put a beer bottle through a windshield.

 
which reminds me, me and a couple friends got trashed, went bowling, stole the shoes and 2 bowling balls, smashed car windows with the bowling balls, and we jumped on some random dudes tramp for like 30 minutes, then all puked on it and ran off

stick that in your pipe and smoke it!

-Justin

(dfp represent)

keep it real.
 
you got some issues

~~~~~~~~*****~~~~~~~~~

If it aint Gorilla, it aint Steeze

If it is, suddenly all those girls he petitioned for an evening of anal ravagery are going to be getting back to him en-masse... because that's one pretty piece of man meat. - J.D. May
 
Threw a boulder threw the back window of the campus police car. I was enraged after an "altercation." I bolted into the dorms and they never found me. I made the campus crime report. Mom would be proud.

Jeremy

There's plenty of room for all of God's creatures. Right next to the mashed potatoes.

I'd rather be rich than stupid.
 
booted ALL OVER my good friend's back seat of his car which had enough projectility to cover the entire dashboard

+ Jamie

===CT Skiers Cult====
 
Puked in the snow and played in it. Then washed my clothes, leaving my cell phone (my life) and $75 canadian (so like 3 cents) in my pants.... Not to mention i woke up in a room full of smoke.. Illicit Marijuana smoke. Ouch.

Enom Headwear.. If you're gonna ride twins, cover your head
 
^explanation to the smoke: before i went to bed, i wanted to blaze, but my papers were in the wash obviously.. i lit my nugs on fire in the fireplace and keeped the flew(sp?) closed (i didnt know it was closed).. all in a one window room that was closed

and to this story, i want to give a shoutout to

Grandpa Grunts, Jay Peak, VT.. God Bless.

Enom Headwear.. If you're gonna ride twins, cover your head
 
-drunk dialed he dean of students at my school

-dropped in on the superpipe at kirkwood (BAM! blood everywhere. it was amazing. i looked so hott when i got cleaned up!)

-fell into one of the canals in Venice Beach, CA

-got the entire santa cruz city lifeguard contingency banned from the town of Imperial Beach (with the helo of other guards, some cops, a bum and my dad)

-waved down a cop because i was somehow wandering in the beach flats alone with no shoes dreiculously wasted. asked him if he knew where my h ouse was, my cell phone, et cetera. asked if i could sleep in his cop car for a while. then heard the mic beep and i told him "issss OKAAAYYY, you have biggger fisssszh to fry. im, like, im, like, immmm? the least? of your concernssss. misssterrr Ill be okkkaaayyy.."

-challenged everyone at my grad party to a rap battle (inclusing my 9128739873 year old uncle Mario and al of those old relatives)

-tried to smoke out my dog who promptly bit my face (whore)

-had a fractured thumb and hand in a cast (water polo) and decided to scale a cliff instead of taking the stairs as a shortcut to a bonfire. fell down the cliff. broke even more bones. was amazing.

the list goes on... and on...

guy at SkiShop SC to me: "Why is there sand in your bindings?"

"If you're alive, I probably hate you."

-C. Francis Browning (my friend CeCe)
 
I use the term boulder because it was more than just a rock. Probobly weighed 50 lbs or so.

Jeremy

There's plenty of room for all of God's creatures. Right next to the mashed potatoes.

I'd rather be rich than stupid.
 
and i didn't "throw" it, it was more of a drunken granny style heave.

Jeremy

There's plenty of room for all of God's creatures. Right next to the mashed potatoes.

I'd rather be rich than stupid.
 
I wandered aimlessly out of Senor Frogs in Cancun, Mexico thinking that I was going in the direction of our hotel (Cancun Palace). After roughly an hour a cab driver talked me into riding to the hotel with him, upon arrival I realized I had no money. He yanked me back into the police car, drove me to several ATMs which were only in spanish (and I was so drunk that being able to withdraw money from an american ATM would have been difficult), and finally drove me to the fucking Policia (Police).

I spent the night (by myself) in a Mexican holding cell. My buddy Michael came early in the morning to get me out...it cost us 100 fucking dollars.

Yes my friends, I have been to jail...in Mexico.

Newschoolers.com: Who have YOU hated on today?
 
to bad u missed it. i killed him but idk what i said. i rap battled everyone a say that nite

__________________

put on whatever makes you attractive

if it's not you then do it for the sake of fashion

your friends like a certain you

that's who you've got to be
 
probably sleeping in the back of my bro's best friends truck naked and waking up in the morking in his driveway

 
it seems like every1 has drinkin experience with senior frogs cuz i got crunk as fuck there on a scool trip and just stumbled back to my hotel room told the spanish teacher i loved her and then slept

"100 % columbian, ladies and gentlemen, disco shit"

johnnys in the basement mixing up the medicine, im on the pavement thinkin bout the goverment

johnny likes skinny girls but never turns down a fatty

zig zag filled with the diggity dank green as a bull frog sticky as glue aint gonna stop till the bag is through

belong to a political party called the burnt thumbs
 
i bowl better drunk than normal. its weird. but i havent really done anything dumb. yet.

I'm sure 99% of this site knows that Jon gets laid more than 99% of this site," -strode420
 
-my ex-gilfriend was driving me home one night, and i had to take a leak, so i stood on the seat with my upper body out the window, and then i saw a cop or a person or something, so i tried to get back in a fell out the window.

-got soooo drunk on the last night of highschool, told my mom i'd be home by two, at three she got nervous and went out driving around looking for me, when she came home my bike was in the middle of the street and i was passed out half naked in the driveway. and i wouldnt wake up.

-last weekend i jumped off a 40 foot bridge 3 times at 4 in the morning after twelve beers, in all my clothes with my celly in my pocket. not so hawt.

-CCR-

"listen trebec, ive lost five years of my life trying to invent an anal bum cover, failing to do so remains as my greatest regret."

--sean connery
 
ohh and two weeks ago i told my ex girlfriend of a year and a half, that i broke up with her because she makes a funny sound when she eats.

-CCR-

"listen trebec, ive lost five years of my life trying to invent an anal bum cover, failing to do so remains as my greatest regret."

--sean connery
 
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