Dumbest thing you've ever done when drunk

got a girl pregnant. yep

-Anthony

********************

using a key to gouge expletives on anothers vehicle, is a sign of trust, and friendship

 
Way too much stuff for one thread. Surprised I didn't father any children or catch any diseases and never been arrested somehow.

When I get real fucked up I get all philosophical and inspirational and probably say way too much shit and look like a fucking moron. Most of my downfall involves gyros or other food. Had way too many heart to hearts with homeless people.

It's hard to pin a top because I'm an embarrassment to society when I'm drunk, but here's two pretty good ones:

1) Thought it would be a good idea to end the night on some long Island iced teas. Well ended up sticking my entire head out the window on the highway at 70mph and exorcist vomited all over myself and our Uber drivers car and probably the car behind us. I had glasses at the time and they were more plastered than I was. Offered to buy him a car wash drunk as fuck. Somehow didn't get charged.

2) Most recently was at a bachelor party (not mine)-smoked and got obliterated and partially blacked out after midnight. Decided not to ride home with my friends cuz I was on a quest for pizza. Stayed out til last call and thought it would be a good idea to walk 6mi+ back to our airbnb in THE HOOD. After about a half hour of walking aimlessly down a desolate street (estimate by Uber time) I ordered an Uber Black for some stupid fucking reason. Initially gave the dude the wrong address. Door to the right house ended up being locked. Tried to break in through a window. Ended up remembering the code. Woke up next day with a half beer next to my bed, $300 poorer, and hungover and tachycardic out the ass because I drank beer instead of water.
 
I normally don't drink because that shits expensive. But when I do, I just get really depressed and fuck off somewhere. Was just at my cousins wedding in Park City, raddest wedding I've ever been too. Had a few drinks early in the night, and ended up wandering around in the woods above their house for like 3 hours. Got back, found a bottle of whiskey, and hid in the trees above the DJ watching everyone dance. Also cockblocked my my homie by accident...sorry bro.
 
I’ve only been properly drunk once -

I was 13 and very naive with alcohol , I downed maybe 3 or 4 shots and didn’t feel anything. Downed 8 more shots and finally got extremely wasted. My 5’2 100 pound body didn’t take it well and I yaked all over my equally drunk friends carpet. I passed out with puke all over myself, I don’t know how I literally didn’t die. Had a hangover for like 4 days, threw up for the first 2 and had terrible motion sickness and such for the other 2.
 
montana police crashed a party i was at and the cops found a few friends and i on the porch drinking some brew underage and they told us to pour it out, I poured it out but my degenerate friend tried running yelling fuck 12 and got straight bodied by the cops and got a minor in possession charge
 
Immediately hit on all the female friends/acquaintances at a party while damn near blackout and making a complete ass out of myself. This was shortly after a breakup and I was feeling mad lonely. Apparently it was pretty bad because none of them really look me in the eye anymore. Oh well. At least I have the benefit of not remembering much of it.

Booze sucks ass.
 
14061811:Biffbarf said:
Immediately hit on all the female friends/acquaintances at a party while damn near blackout and making a complete ass out of myself. This was shortly after a breakup and I was feeling mad lonely. Apparently it was pretty bad because none of them really look me in the eye anymore. Oh well. At least I have the benefit of not remembering much of it.

Booze sucks ass.

Oof. I hear ya man. Totally relatable for a lot of guys who have been vulnerable in the past.

I have a tendency to get too excited (drunk) before hockey games. Usually in the friendly confines of the home arena you get the benefit and you make a complete ass without getting kicked out (usually). Me and my friends got tossed out of a game at Denver U within like 10 minutes...

pissed on an arena once too
 
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