Dumbest thing a shop guy has ever said to you....

ME: can you mount these center??please

HIM: why?

ME: so i can ski backwards with more ease

HIM: thats not right, youd want to mount them closer to the back. It makes it way better for skiing backwards.

ME: No, thats like saying mounting them closer to the front is better for skiing forwards

HIM: no thats not the same thing because youd be skiing backwards and you ski backwards a whole different way than you do forwards.

ME: WTF?!?!, peace out im going to a real ski shop with smart techs.

__________________________

ME: Do you carry salomon thrusters?

HIM: Umm maybe, ohh! are those the ones with the the rounded tips in the back??

ME: yeesss...............

HIM: Oh you shouldnt buy those, the guys at salomon are always trying to think of crazy new design ideas( hes reffering to the fact there twin tips) you should stick to something thats nice and light, and has a normal design. Like those!( he points to some junior rossignol racers) those are nice a light but those are 150cm youd want something around 130cm for freestyle( im 5'2")

ME: (laughing my ass off) ya i think ill be going now, bye
 
Acouple years ago, i took some salomon bindings in to get mounted, and the guy told me they couldnt mount them cuz they didnt have a tyrolia jig. I laughed in his face and left.
 
What is with Salomon bindings breaking?I have S810 tis and I busted the back 2 inches out of the baseplate on one, and both bindings had cracks around the screws, plus my toepiece keeps getting loose and causing me to randomly release at weird times. Luckily at the shop I go to they aren't 100% retarded and they sent them back to Salomon under warranty. While tehy were gone, they lent me a pair of 912s off a used paor of skis, which also had cracks around the screw holes, and teh brakes wouldn't work properly. My little brother has salomon bindings from 06 07 and after one crash he bent his brake and cracked the plate that holds the brake in. also they got all cracked around the screws. That is pretty hilarious though, when the dud took out a hammer in your anecdote.
 
It sounds like "Dick's" is aptly named. I have to say though, i never heard of it before this thread. Makes for alot of funny stories
 
i brought my line lizzies in today to get mounted and first of all he wrote down line, eric pollard for the ski name because it says eric pollard on the top sheet. then he tried to convince me that they arent at all park skis. 
 
actually a lot of retailers hate carrying oakley outerwear, i guess there are a decent amount of defects in their products
 
that happened to me i got new fujis from warranty and a month or so ago i went in and they had me write down what i wanted on paper and tape it to my skis so they made sure they did it right. anyways i wrote mount true center. NOT CORE CENTER.... sure enough guess where they where mounted-core i went back a little over a week ago and me and a manager measured out true and it is 2 cm forward of core.
 
Oakley outerwear TODAY sucks balls!! He is correct. The fit is horible/unpracticle. The front is longer than the back of jackets!!!! It's thin as HELL and the jackets are short and fat. NOW, Oakley 4 or 5+ years ago is some DOPE stuff. Awesome fit. Longer ass than front to keep snow out of your butt. Jackets were better quality, and fit so much nicer.
 
i went to REI looking for a second wide brake and went into the ski department one of the people came over and....

him- can i help you with anything?

me- do you have any wide ski brakes laying arorund that i could buy?

him-(ponders for a minute)...i dont know what that is

me-you know that thing on skis called a brake? i need a wide one to fit my skis so they dont run away.

him-oh ok. well, if we have it, its going to be one this rack here(pointing to the waxes and other ski trinkets)

me-can i talk to the guy who mounts the skis?
 
So I'm trying to find my post to read from where I last left off and I can't find it.... what the hell? Where did it go? I've been through every page like 3 times.
 
so this year, i was looking to buy new skis and was demoing some out, and this midgit guy was helping me...and im 5'8"

me: i think i like those

midgit: ya cool, so, thatd be 150 cm for you

me:uh...no wouldnt it be more like 170 or so?

midgit: uh...no, simon dumont skis on 150s in pipe and stuff

me:haha ya right, i went to the x games and saw his like 184s or whatever they were, they were towering over him.
 
lol simons really short to isnt he?

i guess he thought whatever size the pro rides must be the perfect size for any height lol
 
Im looking for a  park/all mountain ski. Something like the PE's

I wouldnt sujest that, a B2 would work perfectly for you.

No but I want a twin tip ski

Those are just for show

I eventully got the PE's and when I tried to get them centermounted they told me I was crazy and no one skis like that and without telling me they mountted them way to far back for comfort. Dumbasses

 
take them back to the shop and make them buy you a new set of skis, if they fuked you over and did something against your will/what you told them to that's not legal
 
just bought pipe cleaners and setting up everything

me "id like them mouned center"

guy "these bindings are ajustable so that doesnt matter"

 
i went to buy seven sunny days and the guy was all like, tgr always makes a good movie youll enjoy this one. it was so hard not to laugh.
 
I work at a shop and the other day a guy was telling me that skiing out west sucks compared to the east. It was so hard for me to hold a straight face when i heard this. All that snow and terrain apparently cannot hold a candle to the catskills.
 
Even some core shops have retards there. I work in a shop and so I like to play with their heads a little

I went into a shop downtown montreal, which has the biggest reputation...and we'll just leave it at that.

Me: So Armada called the AR5 the AR6 this year. Whats new with the ski?

Shop guy: The AR6's are sick man. Definately the best park ski I've ever been on. It's like nothing else. Really sick.

Me: Yeah I hear alot of hype about them

Guy: They're sick

Me: This years graffix kick ass

Guy: they're so sick

Me: Oh WHAT! The new Seths are insane. Have they changed the construction of the ski at all?

Guy: Oh yeah those are really sick.

Me: Nice, you guys got the new SPK boot. Does it make a huge difference

Guy: Dude those are so sick! I tried them, and they're are sick

Me: I don't know if I can justify getting new boots. just got some last year.

Guy: Get them man! theyre sick!

Me: Did you guys get the new 07 outerwear?

Guy: no, but come back in 2 weeks, it's gonna be sick!
 
This only furthers that you cant bro talk everyone. It works on a small number of people who are indeed bros themselves, but not everyone.
 
ha my shop pretty much talks shit about themselves.

a couple years ago they were saying how shitty armada skis are, then the next year they carried them.  they said 4frnts used low quality wood or something retarded like that, the next year they carried them too.  they said maidens are way too big for pretty much anyone, the next year one of the guys was riding them.  

they said how horrible spk boots are then the next year they carry then and they like them.

 
i got one, its not that dumb but i really havnt met that many dumb shop guys:

so i walk in and see the shop guy holding a pair of goggles, i couldnt quite tell what gog they were so i asked "what goggles have u got there?" and he replies "oh these goggles, there sick, they're the shaun white pro model a-frames!" they turned out to be oakley text print crowbars
 
i'm 6'1" and wear an L for practical uses, an L is way to big for you, but since you want that gangsta steeze L is what you want
 
well Oakley outerwear is defiantly not the best. In fact it does suck, especially for how much you pay. I would guess that if Oakley came out with a garbage bag poncho in some ugly color and had tanner hall wear it, most of NS would be willing to pay $150 for it. And if one or two years ago Columbia came out with what is now called 'ozone' by oakley, and some kid got it all of you would call him out for wearing a girl jacket/pants. Don't you guys see how you are letting just a few people at the very top of a couple companies (primarily one) decided for you on what will be cool simply by attaching their name to it. Face it most of NS is brainwashed.
 
not an example of shop guys being stupid, but i decided to play the noob on the backcountry.com live chat thing. pretty funny. (im xan by the way)

Xan: im thinking about getting into racing, would the line prophet 140s be good for me?

Andy: Racing, as in gates?

Andy: The prophet 130 is a powder ski.

Xan: no way!

Xan: all my bros ride em

Andy: For racing gates?

Xan: wait 130?!

Xan: its 140 isnt it

Andy: There is a 90, 100, and 130

Xan: whoa

Andy: No 140

Andy: It is a great ski for the Cottonwoods but not for racing gates.

Xan: so i heard that the big surface area is really fast because on ice it melts it even more creating more liquid water and friction

Xan: hello?

Xan: are you pulling shenanigans on me?

Andy: No, I promise.

Xan: oh ok well what is this new two tip thing?

Andy: Twin tip?

Xan: is that what they call it?

Andy: That is when the tail is turned up so you can ski backwards.

Xan: SKIING BACKWARDS?!?!?!

Andy: True story.

Xan: you mean like you can put the binders on both ways?

Andy: No

Xan: what!

Andy: Like go with your back heading downhill.

Xan: how would that work

Andy: Are you pulling shenanigans on me now?

Xan: yep i just got self-pwned damn

Xan: good catch

and it was even more epic cuz i went on to seriously ask him about ski movies and stuff he was way chill about it it was tight.
 
yer i went into my local shop to get my marker 11 brake fixed.

he said "how the hell did u brake a maker binding"

me "i landed backwards"

him "markers are indistructable"

me "well ive heard ther not OFF NEWSCHOOLERS.COM"

him "well newschoolers know nothing"

me "well obv they do seen as they said they suck and obv they do seen as i have just broke mine landing backwards"

hhhhhmmmmm dont go to race specific shop with a freestyle ski related insedent

he put me a new brake on for free so its all good
 
about 4 years ago i was buying scratches from GI joes in oregon.. like a cheap REI type place. Anyway, they had 168 and 174 and i'm like 5'7 at the time so I get the 174 and the shop tech is like.. what are you planning on doing with these?

me: well, I'm pretty into jumps and rails and stuff so, yeah jumps and rails.

him: this is a really long ski for you, you can't actually do rails on skis this long.

me: i'm pretty sure i'll be alright.

him: yeah i would really recommend the shorter ones, at least 168 if not shorter.

me: mm.. no, i will be okay, thanks.

They also told me they it's not possible to mount look p10s without lifters.
 


Quebec city. La Vie Sportif

Clerk Hello can I help you,

Me Yeah I'm looking for some Bindings, where are they?

Cleck You cant buy just bindings, now they are all special bindings for each type of ski.

Me. Yeah ok, freeride, Salomon, Look maybe?

Clerk. Yeah we have but we dont sell just bindings?

Me. This place is nuts, Laughs hard and leaves

 
ya besides stuff like skis and boots they are better for gloves and goggles and jackets wax and more
 
if you taking about non-twintip skis, they all use plates or rail systems now, so that you dont dril bindings in anymore. plus shops dont like selling them seperatly because it messed up their inventory.
 
ahhhhhhhhhhhh mate

i would have gone fucking mental

i can now imagine your face when you first saw them, funny for the rest of us, not for you though!!!!!!!!!
 
so heres my problem:

shope A is a race specific shop, and the people that work there arent the brightest. the people at shop B are much more knowledgable, but are complete ass-holes about it. shop B is clearly the better shop, but the people who work there act as though they know all, and you therefore must know nothing. pisses me off so fucking much.
 
The shop i go to is pretty good they still are a little dumb when it comes to mounting stuff they try to insist on having my skis mounted like -5ish and i am like know that is not what i wan't but there not too bad. Like they understand how for park and stuff we ride longer skis than people would for normal crap. The dude was cool and said i should get the 176s instead of a shorter ski cause some shops are dumb in that area.
 
Just overheard a good one:

"Yeah, these fujis are good for when the pow starts to fall"

while holding up a 159 fujative for a kid who was at least 5'7"
 
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