College stories

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Once I went partying in a certain location and a certain someone got really drunk and rolled a keg down a flight of stairs. It was awesome, also took his skis and threw them down a hallway. Went to a strip club and started throwing out 20s and then walked all the way home.
 
i bro the fuck out during the summer, and first few weeks of school...then i am a studying hermit cause of engineering haha. but i still live with the bros so i can go hard when i wanna, which unfortunatly is not much.

anywhoo heres spark notes for last halloween:

wore a lab coat entitled "sperm donor", blacked out in under an hour, fell off a 10 ft cliff and proceeded to roll down the muddy hill, fell in the bucket of pink panty droppers, tried to make out with a certified midget (she's a known slut and is just under 4 ft, i apparently had to pick her up)got dome from this girl that is just one of the homies, and proceeded to pass out mid party on a futon that had no mattress, just bars. i woke up with zebra bruises on my back from the bars, stumbled home but got pulled over by a cop who could hardly contain his laughter. I was wearing a lab coat, was coated in mud, and everything that wasn't muddy was stained with pink panty droppers.

My best friends 21st birthday: i was already 21and he bought 12 cases of four loko for the party. we said fuckit and made a mix drink by pouring 24 four lokos and 2 handles of monarch into a bucket and called the drink BFI(bad fucking idea). proceeded to blackout take pictures with cops putting my leg over them, and then begged to be punched cause i wanted to join my friend in puking and couldn't. got punched in the solar plexus and it knocked me out and i went headfirst into the pavement and skidded. I woke up win a bed covered in blood not knowing what happened. went to class the next day looking legit like 2 face(one whole side of my face was completely scrapped off), and got asked what hapened in front of the whole class by my professors in 3 out of 5 classes.

so im glad i got that stupid shit out of my system, and now i can keep it chill while sober or blacked.
 
haha speaking of tasers, i was my friends caretaker when he went trippin one time, and longstory short, he ended up in the middle of the street with 2 cop cars around him, and him yelling he would kill them all. they tasered him once, and he got back up, pointed to the cop who tasered him and said "if you taser me again i will fucking killyou and rape your..." and got tasered again, good times

moral of the story is don't be a caretaker for someone who is inherently violent and stronger than you
 
went to my buddies to hang out did acid cool night(tonight). lots of nights i end up getting really fucked up when i probably shouldnt, basic college stuff, beach drinking, the usual.
 
was, took a tab at about 9 tripped till like 3something got home and went on ns. didnt trip super hard, everything i "saw" was a real object, just being morphed or whatnot. but it was a great time and one of the best trips ive had.
 
One night i woke up wearing a sponge bob outfit for little kids in the front lobby of a retirement home being woken up by a security guard. Never ending up finding any of my clothes from the night before and i didn't even go to a costume party.
Going away party before heading out to go skiing in japan:Had everyone over at my house before running to the bus to head downtown. We filled the entire bus and basically turned it into a party bus with everyone drinking and yelling the whole way there. Got there and met up with all the ppl that hadn't been able to make it to the pre drink and we filled about half of the bar/club. PPL on the street saw that it was already getting packed so it started getting really rowdy and packed. I blacked out around 11 but lasted until the bar closed. I was told chugged a pitcher of beer then demanded the bartender give me tequila to wash it down. Started making out with some random chick on a table on the dance floor, got threatened to get kicked out, this went on for the next two hours or so with going to town with this chick all over the club. Went to Mcdonalds and bought 20+ dollars worth of food and then ended up cabbing home but decided a walk would help sober me up so retardedly got out and hour and a half from my house and walked home.
Friends going away party/birthday party:-went to a bar right after work (3pm) and drank between 3-4 litres of beer-Went to this other bar where we had organized a giant beer pong tournament where i was the b-day boys parter. We agreed that i would do all of the drinking for our team though because he wanted to remember/be able to make it to the club without getting too fucked up.-Un-defeated for 4 games of beer pong-Did some irish car bombs and shots-Went to the club where we had got all you could drink for 3 hours for 35 bucks.-Got so fucked i left and went to a gas station to go get food-Bought a ton of food and tried to make it back to the bar-One of my roommates and saw me standing on the side of the road trying to walk and when he drove by again 10 minutes later i had only made it nine feet because i hate kept falling over/dropping my food on the ground.-roomate picked me up and tried to drive me home but we had to drive past the bar in order to get to our house.-I saw ppl outside of the bar while we were driving by so i decided to jump out of the car going 30kmph. Luckily it had snowed the night before so i just slide 40 or so feet down the road on my back.-Everyone on the bar was freaking out but i stood up, yelled "IM GOOD" and went back into the bar and kept drinking while eating the food i had brought back!-That was a bitch of a hangover...
I have many more that I may post later
 
Two weeks ago i walked out of a house party with my friends and around the house a kid was up against the siding slamming a girls head down in his cock in the most rigorous fashion with two hands. A few minutes after a large crowd had gathered to cheer on this character they quickly departed into the bushes. No confirmation as to whether or not he busted.
 
My 20th birthday

6 kegs

400+ people in 2 houses side by side, plus the backyard

girls wrestling in a pool of jello

unfortunately, the party was broken up by 10:45. Great time and a shitload of people. We made it downtown to the bar after that.

another night had about the same number of people. I had gotten very very drunk, and in the midst of too many people crammed into a small house a fight broke out. It went to the front lawn and had turned into a knife/broken bottle fight. Me in my drunken state jumped in between the two trying to be mr. peacemaker or something. Luckily my friend pulled me out. Someone got cut up pretty good.

I probably wont be able to find the picture...

 
Really? No pink elephants or anything jumping out at you or anything? Damn, must been some bunk shit.

LOLOLOL but for real, most of my fucked up stories are not a result of college, so Im not gonna share, but threads so I can read.
 
freshman year i was bringinh a girl home but my roomate was there so we decided to fuck outside. we went to this field where people play frisbee and whatnot. were in the middle of fucking and this guy comes out of nowhere on his 4am jog and runs right by us like 2 feet away. he didnt look down or say anything, just kept on going, as did we.
 
Woke up to find my skis gone last year.
Turned out mid-blackout I had decided I was going to go ski some urban (it was the middle of the night, -40 with windchill and snowing really hard) and gotten changed into all my ski gear. My friend had to hide my skis under her bed to keep me from wandering out into the blizzard with them. Instead I spent 1/2 an hour crying in the stairwell because 'I just wanted to go skiing'. I had already successfully gotten lost without a coat on the 5 minute walk from the student bar to rez and been given a ride back in some stranger's car (there are no roads on campus so I have no idea where I was) because they saw me stuck in the fresh snow. I hadn't even made it in the bar.
 
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SSS = short shorts shenanigans... I suggest this for all theme party enthusiasts. Set a certian legnth to be a requirement and man the door with someone holding a ruler & sissor... and to collect beer $. General rule of thumb: when you think they're short enough, cut another inch off. (the 6th annual takes place this weekend & its become the biggest party at our university).
 
probably the time i blacked out at a wale/knaan concert by drinking like half a handle of dubra or something...i ended up being kicked out i guess. i remember a few things of the night..getting outside and laying down on the street. waking up in a silent rave at Yale University hahahahah and then ending up in a pizza place with a giant pizza with every topping in front of me hahahhaha
 
most of my stories begin with "well, we started drinking....."

and that's about where they end. Apart from bits and pieces here and there, like playing soccer on the campus green at 4am, stealing a flag from our cafeteria....nothing in particular sticks out.
 
My first year we stole a 10' tall fully decorated artifical Christmas tree from the lobby in one of the other residences. We put it in one of our friend's room after he had passed out and he woke up to a tree taking up most of his room. But that was too heat for him so we ended up throwing it off a bridge into the river that runs through our campus. It's still there a year later.
 
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