Chairlift conversations

bob_ham

bob_ham

Member
my friends and I have always had a little inside joke on how we talk about the weirdest shit on the chair. just wondering if you have any please share.
 
oh but of course! also screaming randomly on a quiet gondy ride is always awesome. the hardest part is to not laugh and just go on like it didnt happen
 
hahah i do that all the time... a few of my friends have pulled the hi im tom wallisch to a bunch of gapers lol.... but with friends we have the funniest convos about chicks and what not
 
Always tell people all the weird shit you do and change who you are. Personal favorite is saying your a astronaut who is going to space in a few weeks.
 
when we were 12 or so, me and my friends had a thing were person left would yell "left nut" right would say " right nut" and if the person in the middle didnt yell "penis in the middle" he was promptly punched and then squished...still pops up 4 or 5 times a season
 
Go up there if you have a couple of friends up there and just start talking about meth, and then when the kid looks at you all funny. Ask him if he wants to smoke some. But talk to each other in like lispy gay voices. Funny as hell.
 
we always yell "START THE LIFT" whenever it stops, which is quite often because there's a lot of new skiers at our mountain. sometimes it works immediately, and sometimes it does, but it takes a awhile
 
i wasnt there but my friends told me one time they were talking about trench foot which we learned in social studies a few years back, its where the soldiers foot would get all soggy and gross and they made up trench pussy and trench dick.
 
Me and my friends always are just looking at the gapers going down the mountain haha they look so funny when baked
 
last season my and a couple of my buddies rode the lift up with this older gentlemen and he told us about the history of his skis and how his daughter skis at another resort, then he told us about how he doesnt like newer skis because he cant turn as sharp hahaha it funny as hell!
 
I tend to just make up absurd lies about myself to random people. Its fun to see how far you can go before people stop believing you.
 
Lies. make em do something stupid. one time we had an epic convo about getting face shots. he though i was talking bout pornstar face shot. some giggles.
 
Depends, at my two home mountains in NY i ride lifts with racers when im lapping the park, so my friend and i just rip on the racers and make things awkward for them. We hold debates too on the ski lifts like; If you had lesbo parents what one would you call Mom?
 
put another quarter in if it stops, yelling very odd things but for beautiful women pretend we are from the uk and caress them with our incredibly well presented accents
 
Another one is if your on a triple chair, get you and another friend to go on opposites of the chair and force the single into the middle. Then once on the lift start making gay comments and hit on the guy in the middle. Either they will laugh or get really awkward.
 
i ask for advice all the time. my favorite is if i get on with a couple of like middle aged guys ill ask them "so, this kinda beat chick wants to fuck me, and i mean i want to fuck her too, just go to town on that ass, but i think my friends will make fun of me and i just dont know what to do..."
 
just looking at them is a fun time, just look and don't say anything. works even better if you have on super mirrored goggles
 
whenever we get on a chair with girls, me and my buddy start talkin about xgames and bag on womens slopestyle. then one of us turns and says, "womens slope is a joke, if only there were events for cooking, cleaning and dick sucking"
always makes for an awkward ride
 
sounds like YOU GOT TROLLED

Weekend skiing is always the day after a party, so whoever gets on the chair with us gets to hear us trying to piece together last night, and hear all the grimy stories
 
My girls and I usually pick on everyone around us. And we yell really immature things from the lift. Like some snowboard guy had a whole outfit that looked like newspaper, so we of course had to yell "did someone loose their newspaper"? Or people all dressed in camo, "dude someone just lost their snowboard, it's going down the hill" or snowbunnys with their boyfriends. So if your ever at Stevens Pass and two girls are gettin on your case for something, just yell random obscenitys.

I need an adult!
 
we play the food game because we dont eat lunch and ski all day, we pretty much come up with the best combos like; steak, mashed potatos, salad, bread, and green beans. i dont know weird shit like that, and whenever there is someone we dont knnow on the chair we have an awkward moment, see if we can make it to the top without anyone saying anything while someone we dont know is just chilling.
 
Once at Crystal Mt i had a guy drunk out of his mind talking to us about how u can jump of the lifts at Mt Baker and after saying that he fell off the lift about 40 feet into powder then rolled into a creek. later the ski patrol couldnt get him out because his jacket was ripped on a tree once taken down to the lodge he swore at some cops and got arrested
 
Me and my friends definitly talk about some crazy shit. One time my friend was riding up the lift with a major douch who had a mirror attached to his helmet and this skis with liquid and ball berrings in them to supposivly" Counter balance weight." Which were desinged by NASA. But I enjoy making the ride extremely akward when riding with gapers.
 
it's also fun to make up random facts that seem somewhat believable and just casually say to a friend something along the lines of "did you know that the ceo of intrawest makes 2 mil a year?"
 
I once rode with this guy who apparently works in the office at the mountain. He blazed with us while downing some vodka, and proceeded to lap the park with a beer in his hand and a smoke in his mouth. champion
 
The best times we had on lifts is finding big ice chunks and hiding them under our coat. Then on the ride we try to get them stuck on the lifts going the other way.
 
Forgot to add something: One time, a gaper on the lift in front of us lost his ski because he didn't even know how to get on a damn chairlift. So we had to carry it up. And out of nowhere my friend shouts, "YOU DROPPED IT!?" They all turn around and were laughing so hard.
 
I've seen those skis before, they're retarded. I usually ask them if his NASA skis make him good enough to ski as fast as me on my normal skis and then ski away.

Shitty conversation I last season:

I got stuck on a chairlift with my private lesson teaching a 8 year old with this rude Texan. The guy kept telling me I should join the army so I "can become a real man". I told him I don't support the war so why should I join it? And asked him if real men judged people for their life decisions and who would be doing all the work to keep the ski runs open for him if everybody just up and left to become his subjective opinion of a "real man". Needless to say he started yelling at me with my kid right there, about how i'm a worthless hippie and not a real american. He then proceeded to rant about the "A-Rabs" and how they're all evil scum. I was so fucking pissed but since i was in uniform and had a young student with me, i couldn't do anything about it but be polite and take his shit.
 
One of my friends always makes chick orgasm sounds. The highlight was when a guy looked up and skied into a rail because of it. Also, we try to convince people that the moguls are manmade bumps that they store in the summer.
 
When i was on the chairlift with Bishop at windells i was sitting next to this random guy and his girlfriend, and i just pretended to kind of nod off and completely pass out on the random dude next to me. Freaked him out a shit ton haha
 
When i was on the chairlift with Bishop at windells i was sitting next to this random guy and his girlfriend, and i just pretended to kind of nod off and completely pass out on the random dude next to me. Freaked him out a shit ton haha
 
There's this guy at our mountain that coaches the college race team. End up riding the lift with him now and then, and each time I get to hear a different story from his past. All the stories are about banging various girls and most of them have important life lessons.
Very funny and interesting conversations.
 
"those are some big skis you got there! you could go water skiing on those! and look at those graphics, isn't skiing peaceful, why have skulls on your skis?"

"um...im not the artist, so idk"

not talk to rest of the lift

^typical convo at my local hill with 50+ year old gapers
 
when ever the chair stops suddenly and rolls back i scream WERE ALL GOING TO FUCKING DIE" and pretend to jump off. or i talk about roll backs and how they happen all the time.
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I met the love of my life on a chairlift in whistler, we spoke for like half an hour cause the chair broke down.... i never asked her name... and as it was a pow day i didnt go riding with her.

Alas i am back in europe and shall never see her again.

Sad times :(
 
Katchup packets squeezed into the center of snowballs. Damn we were ruthless. Thn ketchup filled snowballs turned into pipe hits and flask sips
 
You gotta say the most fucked up stuff like "I told her i dont give a shit that your pregnant i am still going to beat the shit out of you".
 
So the old Lionshead Gondola fell a long time ago and some people were killed. The spot where it fell was near the top and the drop to the ground was at least 100 feet. We'd be riding with some gapers and we'd start talking about when the Gondola fell, and at some point we would start in about how a bar on the tower broke loose and knocked the Gondola off the cable. We would also tell them that the only person who survived the fall grabbed the pole that was in the center of the Gondola. By this time we would have talked about which tower it fell from. We'd get near to that point and the people in there with us would already be scared and we would just be hitting the high point. As we got close enough to see the tower someone would yell OH Shit and point to a bar that looked bent. Reality is that all the bars that keep the Gondola from smacking the tower in high wind look bent so this is a pretty easy sell. The goal was to build up the drama right up to the point where the Gondola was hitting the wheels of the tower. Right when that happened, one of us would stomp on the floor as hard and loud as possible. If we did a good job, at least one gaper would grab the pole in the center. I'm kind of surprised now that we no one had a massive heart attack.

The other thing about that Gondola was that the operators opened and closed the Gondola doors with these keys with a square head. The key hole went all the way through the door so if you had a key, you could unlock and open the door from the inside. It was a simple lock and it didn't take us long to realize that you could just jam your ski pole into the key hole, turn it and open the door. If we were riding up the gondola with little kids that were being a pain, we would threaten to throw them out. Of course they would say, you can't because you can't open the door. Without saying a word, one of us would open it with our ski pole and the kids would usually immediately start crying. Later on when I was in college and working as an instructor, I pulled that on a group of high school kids. It was funny and no one took it seriously, but one of the kids went home and told his mother that his instructor opened the Gondola door. I was fired the next morning. I still hold the record for the person who has been fired and rehired by Vail Resorts the most. Claim!
 
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