"Mom...Dad...I have something important to tell you."
"Yes?"
"I accidentally got caught having sex with a girl in the bathroom last week at school and I've been suspended. I've been pretending to go to school every morning, but really I just go to my friend's house, smoke weed, and play video games all day."
"You WHAT!? We are so disappointed in you! We w.."
"Whoa, whoa, whoa. Relax. I'm just kidding. I'm gay."