This is obviously satirical, but most of these cases have already taken place at least once, which is freakin' crazy.
About the child abuse one for example, I know someone who one day was walking around with his baby in Boulder, CO. They walked above a highway overpass, and started watching cars, because that's the kind of stuff that makes babies laugh... Anyways, they walk the rest of the way on the overpass, and when they get to the other side, a police car is waiting there. In the span of 3 minutes, 5 people had called the police, saying that he was holding his baby above the highway. What the Fuck? Of course he wasn't. The cop then goes on about how the baby is not properly attached with the safety belt in the stroller. MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS ALREADY! He then gets home, and a 1/2 hour later, the FUCKING social services come at the door. Parenting classes required, for nothing obviously. 2 weeks later, article published about him in the Denver Post. He was not contacted by the newspaper obviously.
Now tell me these examples are not relevant...