your mama jokes...

yo mama's so fat, her blood type is ragu

----------------------------

Doctor: Well Rudolph we finally figured out what makes your nose red.

Rudolph: Is it pixy dust or Leprechaun tails?

Doctor: No - it's a tumor.

Rudolph: You mean like a magical Christmas tumor?

Doctor: No a malignant tumor, the base of which is lodged deep within your brain.

Rudolph: Oh... like a happy, special-

Doctor: You're going to die.
 
^wtf u retard thats the dumbest one ive ever heard.

How bout yo' mommas so fat, when she puts on a red shirt everybody yells HEY HO!!! KOOlAID!!!

Ski New Jersey
 
got another....your mom is so ugly, she walked into a taco bell, and everyone headed for the border

Ski New Jersey
 
Your mom Your mom is so fat she comes from both sides of the family

your moma is so skinny she can hola hoop with a fruit loop!!

your mom is so tall when she does a backflip she kicks jesus in the mouth.

your mom is so fat the only time she sees 90210 is when she steps on a scale.

Yo Mamma is so fat that she stepped on a weight scale and it said one at a time please!

Your Momas so fat her belt size is equator.

your moms like a christmas tree, everyone gets to put their balls on it

your mama so old when you pat her on the back her tits fall off.

Your mom is so ugly that when she put her head down beside her cereal bowl to hear the 'snap, crackle, pop' all she heard was 'Ahh lets get the hell outta here!!!'.

Your is so fat that god said 'Let there be light' when she moved her fat ass.

Your mom is so ugly that when three masked robbers broke into her house, she yelled 'RAPE!' and they yelled 'NO!'

Yo momma's so fat she puts her lipstick on with a paint roller.

your moms like a hardware store 5 cents a screw

yo mama is so stupid she thinks taco bell is a mexican phone company

ur moma is so fat she went down the stairs and broke her leg and gravy came out.

Your mom is so ugly, when she stuck her face out the window, the police arrested her for mooning people

Your mom's so fat, when she got into the bathtub, the neighbors water system overflowed.

Your mom is so fat when ever she turn around it's her birthday

Your mother's so fat, she got busted for carrying 200 pounds of crack

your mom is so stupid she took an over size soup spoon to the super bowl

your mother is so fat, when she jumps up in the air, she gets stuck

your mom is so ugly, she went into a haunted house and came out with a job application

yo mama is so old she sat behind jesus in the third grade

Yo mama's so ugly, she went into a haunted house and came out with a job application

Ski New Jersey
 
Yo mama's glasses are so thick when she looks at a map she can she people waving at her!

Hesitation = Devastation

'You know there are a buttload of gangs at this school. This one gang kept asking me to join 'cause I'm pretty good with a bowstaff.'
 
yo mamas so fat, last time i fucked her i rolled over 3 times and i was still on the fat bitch.

Some folks look for answers, others look for fights

Some folks up in tree tops, just looking for their kites

Goes to show, you don't ever know

Watch each card you play and play it slow
 
yo mamas so fat, she puts on her belt with a boomerang

'Idle hands spend time at the genitals, and you know how much God hates that' - Ol' Drippy
 
your mommas so fat she uses a two man pup tent as a dress

your mommas sof at for the fmaily photograph we had to hire a airplane for an overhead shot

your mommas so fat when we go tot he ebach greenpeace try to put her back in the water and trys to push her back out

your mommas so fat when she sits around she sits around

your mommas so fat when she go to the zoo the hippois sing we are family

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Holdin' it down for the South Ontarioans
 
yo mammas so fat, when she was swimming in the ocean Spain claimed her as the new territory

Imagine the ns outcry if u(lateralis) were banned. There would be countless threads and petitions to bring u back, it would be like when treadway got banned from whistler. Someone would probably make and sell 'Free Lateralis' stickers and shit. -jflo453

I don't deny there are bad things in the US right now, hell, 51% of the country to be exact. But god damnit, our country being fat is NOT a problem. I do't give a shit how fat people are. hell, fat kids are harder to kidnap, that means our cou
 
yo mommas so fat she puts mayonaise on her asprin

who the hell takes pictures of themselves with a camera phone?? those are made to sneak pics of girls tits and underwear-lateralis
[+]
 
yo mommas so fat, when she turns around she gets a welcome back party...

-Patty

Vis ton cassage et tais toi!

Its NS... retards blend in. - J.D._May

Oi! Dude, like, whatever! Sheesh, don't take it personaly...
 
your mom is barking on my porch.

____________________

I'm going back into my kitchen and continue to make out with fruit.-ice-is-scary

'i would love to be a engineer workin on the new 'high power' 6 liter toilets. i wonder if they get 300 pound guys to drop massive logs and see if they flush.'-4D (Chris)

no true, but you cant judge my english like you judge someone elses that live in for an example the US.. but still you can point out that, but not when i ask something that have something to do about flowers-dallan
 
yo mama is so tall, then when she lies around the house, she lies around the house.

yo mama so fat, that everytime she turns around, she gets a welcome home party.

yo mama is so old she squrts powdered milk out of her tits.

yo mama is so fat, everytime she walks down the street a police man runs up and says 'Hey break it up you two!'

yo mama so fat....that she...she...uh........Yeah I'm out of ideas.

=======================================
Kitting is so progressional.
 
your mamas such a slut she made me cookies to bring skiing one time even when i didnt want any!

word

HAHAHA YOU BITCHES MY DADS LAWYER, MICHAEL J KAUFMANN IS ALREDY INVESTIGATING LATS POSTS ON NS AND WILL TAKE LEGAL ACTION

APPARENTLY I CAN ALSO SUE NS for condoning harrassment AND SHUT THIS FUCKIN SITE DOWN! -ATLANTASKI
 
your mamas so fat SHE JUMPED IN THE AIR AND GOT STUCK

Thats what she said

why are you telling me i'm craving attention? i'm not the one who started a thread 'IN THE BUTT' - tahoefreerider

 
Yo momma's so stupid she drinks coffee at night.

Yo momma's so gay she went to a gay club.

Yo momma's so smart she got an A on her math final exam.

Trust me, those are funny if you really think about it. Or, maybe just to me and my gay friend who helped me think tehm up...

- Sasha

Did you like it? Did it sound kind of hot?
 
yo mamans just like a mosquito, sometimes, you just gotta give her a slap to get her to stop sucking......

 
i had a good one, but i forgot it because i was refilling yo momma's dish

a concussion a day keeps the doctor here to stay

they say i got stupid when i hit my head

the german's excuse for the holocaust: 'nothing happened, we were on a vacation!'
 
this from little sister (not too shabby): yo mommas so ugly she turns medusa to stone!

-Patty

Vis ton cassage et tais toi!

Its NS... retards blend in. - J.D._May

wow, if i was a number id totally do that girl -jflo453

 
Your momma's got a glass eye with a fish in it.

Tribe Called Quest anyone? Anybody?

- - - - -

'It’s a wonder I haven’t abandoned all my ideals, they seem so absurd and impractical. Yet I cling to them because I still believe, in spite of everything, that people are truly good at heart.' - Anne Frank
 
Why don't we get off mommas

Cause I just got off yours. (OHHH)

credit goes to Wesley Snipes in 'White Men Can't Jump'

Also notable,

Your mamma's teeth are so yellow that she can butter a whole loaf of bread.

 
Mommy mommy I don't want to visit grandma. . .Shutup and keep digging.

Mommy mommy why do I keep walking in circles. . .Shutup or I'll nail your other foot to the floor.

*
'Skiing combines outdoor fun with knocking down trees with your face.'-Dave
Barry
*
'Skiing is the only sport where you spend an arm and a leg to break an arm and a leg.'-Author Unknown

 
Youre mommas so fat, she broke the limb off your family tree

Ski. Eat. Sex. Sleep. Ski.
What else is there?

'never tryed tele, it just looks gay...' Jess-001 (Feschies, better watch your back)
 
Yo momma is so fat, she has little fat people orbiting her.

Yo momma is so fat, when she goes to the beach, the tide comes in!

Yo momma is so fat, when she walks into The Gap, she fills it!

Yo momma is so fat, when she steps on a scale, it says 'To be continued...'

Yo momma is so fat, when she walks out of the house in high heels, she comes back in flip flops.

Yo momma is so fat, when she hauls ass, she has to make two trips!

=================================

Rowen

'Aren't you Buzz Lightyear?'

*whispers* 'I love your movies!'

'URAAAAFWAAAGAAA!!!'

 
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