Your funniest Omegle conveastions.

Stranger: horny?

You: yes I'm a shark though

Stranger: ?

You: I'm a mako shark, I live in the pacific ocean. What about you

Stranger: same.../

You: female or male

Stranger: f

You: I put my dorsil fine in your blowhole, you squeek like an orca

You: *fin

Stranger: lol

You: I jump out of the water, my speed and agility is making you wet

 
hahaha shit, thats hilarious. Thank you google transaltor

I said "i Put on my robe and wizard hat.

He said "En ... then what? "

Thank you google transaltor

Connecting to server...

Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

A word of advice: "asl" is boring. Please find something more interesting to talk about!

You: 我穿上长袍和向导的帽子。

Stranger: 恩... 然後呢?

You: what?

You: i don't speak asian

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

or save this log or send us feedback.

 
Stranger: Im 17 age male . . . Im really horny. . . do u like webcam sex ?

You: i'm 6 female and yes

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

 
should i call him?

Stranger: I am Prince Johnson Garuba (Jnr.) eldest son to Dr. William C. Garuba, the

former financial controller of the Revolutionary United Front (R.U.F.) of

Sierra Leone.

You: oh really?

Stranger: My father was assasinated by people elieved to be members of

Tejan Kabbah's government since he was first accused by the government for

supporting RUF.

You: im sorry to hear that

Stranger: Before my father's death, he made me know that he had

deposited a consignment (Box) with a ecurity company in Dakar-Senegal

containing US$18,000,000 and that I should go to our country home to get

all the necessary documents.

Stranger: He also told me that he registered the box as

African art works that is, the management of the Security Company are not

aware of the real contents of this box.

Stranger: Presently, my brother and myself

are in N.P.S Refugee Camp in Dakar-Senegal, I have been able to make

arrangements with the Security Company's Manager to help re-transfer this

box to Europe or Asia, so I want you to help me ! to stand as a

beneficiary to this consignment when it arrives.

You: sure im up for it

Stranger: Moreover, all other

details of this transaction will be kept secret for now, pending your

response but all necessary documents will be sent down to you if requested

for. At the end of this transaction, I will be able to give you 20%(twenty

percent) of the total amount.

You: sounds good

Stranger: Hope to hear from you soon. You can reach me on this mobil nos.

233-24-288425 or e-mail

Stranger: pincegaruba@epatra.com

You: ok then

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

 
Stranger: hey

You: hey there cute thang ;)

Stranger: uhh

You: dont be shy

Stranger: u realize u cant see me

You: your "hey" was suttle, but stood out to me

You: it really got me in the heart

Stranger: ......LOL xD

Stranger: im glad it did so

Stranger: because so did ur greeting ;)

You: aww
 
OH SHIT THIS IS GONNA BE FUN:

You: hiStranger: [Omegle is required by law to inform you that you are chatting with a convicted sex offender. Stranger is unable to see this message.]Stranger: hey
 
Stranger: im a nice guy

Stranger: sit down and have a chat with me

You: ok

You: do you like romantic walks on the beach?

Stranger: yes if its with a girl i really dig

Stranger: why?

You: just wondering ;)

Stranger: haha ic

Stranger: so are you male or female?

You: female

You: i beleive youre a guy?

Stranger: that i am

Stranger: where are you from?

You: Canada

You: you

You: ?

Stranger: the us

Stranger: whats your age?

You: 17

Stranger: SAMSIES

Stranger: wild

You: SWEET!

You: this is great

You: sometimes i wonder why

You: i cant find a guy just like my ex

You: nvm, youll be bored

You: i wnt talk about thatt

Stranger: go ahead and tell me

Stranger: i have time haha

You: aww alright

You: thanks :)

Stranger: haha lets hear this

You: alright well

You: i went to italy for vacation

You: and i met this guy

You: he was great

You: a perfect match

You: He was 21 and was getting his degree for plumbing

You: of course

You: vacations cant last forever

Stranger: uh oh

You: and i had to go back home :(

You: but

Stranger: and now you miss him?

You: i got his email and i stlll talked to him

You: so

You: we talked

You: and i got closer

You: and i knew i loved him, and he loved me

Stranger: this is gonna be tough

You: yeah

You: well

You: one day he told me

You: he tried this thing

You: that made him bigger

You: shaped like a mushroom

You: it made him strong and more masculine

You: i could tell he changed

You: just by the way he wrote

Stranger: lol is this a joke?

You: no :(

You: why does it seem like it?

Stranger: what do you mean made him bigger?

You: you said you wanted to listen

Stranger: like steroids?

Stranger: i do i do

You: yeah steroids

Stranger: ah okay

You: i have no idea wha tit is

You: k wel

Stranger: thats kind offucked up

You: one night he said

You: i met a girl

You: named peach

You: and i really like her

You: that just killed me

Stranger: okay shes named peach and she lives in italy?

Stranger: this is bullshit haha

You: wtf .

Stranger: is this true?

You: yes!

Stranger: i just have trouble believin it im sorry

You: wowi thought you wtre a nice guy

Stranger: i am

Stranger: but i cant tell if you are fucking wiht me or not

Stranger: if thats true, im really sorry thats awfull

Stranger: i hate when that happense

You: yeaah

You: i never thought it would happen to me

You: want me to continue?

Stranger: its happened to me a couple times

Stranger: sure

You: aw maan, sowwys

You: k well

You: so in the same email he said that they went on a date

You: to this castle

You: this like

You: famous one of somesort

You: they seperated to go to the washrooms before they got back on the road

You: since its so far away from there house apparently

You: he finished and went out

You: and waited for her

You: half an hour later sjhe wasnt done

You: she wasnt on her period or anything

Stranger: stop with this bullshit

You: he went in the girls washroom

You: and she was gone

You: there was this giant turtle

 
You: hey

Stranger: cyber?

Stranger: hi

You: hellz ya

Stranger: lol

Stranger: asl?

You: 23 / f / cali

Stranger: 30 /m/tx

You: i like them older

Stranger: like 41?

Stranger: lol

You: like 27

Stranger: lol

You: cyber?

You: still

You: lol

Stranger: sure

Stranger: i'll make you gush babe

You: i put on my robe and wizard hat

Stranger: kewl

Stranger: let me pull my pants back on

You: i gently coress your pickel

Stranger: vienna sausage babe

You: then rip your pants back down

Stranger: lol

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

 
You: hi

Stranger: [Omegle is required to inform you that you are now chatting with a registered sex offender.]

Stranger: hi

You: hello there Mr. sex offender

Stranger: ?

Stranger: oh does that still com up?

Stranger: *come

You: yup

Stranger: srry

You: hmmmm.

You: why are you a sex offender?

Stranger: i did some stupid shit years ago

Stranger: i put it behind me but the police didn't

You: do you regret it?

Stranger: it was worth it until i realized it branded me for lifr

Stranger: *life

You: what did you do?

You: if you dont mind me asking

Stranger: i kinda do

You: okay

You: sorry

Stranger: np

Stranger: im male 14 usa

Stranger: you?

You: what?

You: your 14

Stranger: yeah y?

You: i dont believe you

Stranger: y not?

You: cause. your a sex offender

Stranger: listen i fucked my neighbors dog when i was 11 ok!

Stranger: that fucking better?

You: hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

Stranger: FUCK YOU!

You: fuck me? i thought you were into animals

You: wtf?

Stranger: u r an animal

You: wrong

You: why would you fuck a dog?

You: thats not even hot

You: how did ou get caught?

Stranger: SHIT JUST SHUT UP

Stranger: SAME REASON GUYS FUCK OTHER GUYS

Stranger: ITS A FUCKING PREFERENCE

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

 
Sometimes when I ask the Chad's gap question they get pissed and tell me to STFU. It is great. Total NS takeover.
 
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

A word of advice: "asl" is boring. Please find something more interesting to talk about!

Stranger: hihi

Stranger: im alice

You: hey

You: im mike

Stranger: i can c the future

You: whats that?

Stranger: im a vampire

You: thats cool, my favorite food is garlic

Stranger: dont worry thts just a myth

You: im not kidding

Stranger: n im a vegatarian

You: have you seen vegi tales?

Stranger: yes

You: i have everyone

You: next to me

Stranger: :D

You: i have each one in vrs and dvd

You: some in blue ray.....

Stranger: kool

Stranger: i want sum bacon...

You: chyyyyyyaaa

You: bacon tastes good

Stranger: ya

Stranger: it does

You: soft? or crisp?

Stranger: crisp

You: chyyyyyyyyaaaaaa

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

 
Connecting to server...

Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

A word of advice: "asl" is boring. Please find something more interesting to talk about!

You: Hey

Stranger: What the fuck do you want

You: to kill your grandmother

Stranger: Wat

You: I can see her through my scope pleeze tell her to put some pants on

Stranger: She's getting ready for church she dosent put them on till she's ready to go.

Stranger: Lleave her alone :(

You: but I need to make enough money on this hit to get shin extenshions so I dont look like a midget no more

 
Connecting to server...

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

A word of advice: "asl" is boring. Please find something more interesting to talk about!

Stranger: hello, i am 14 year old boy from finland, if you are scared or so, you don't have to be shy at all, just disconnect.

You: hi i'm 49 and I live in a subway

 
Stranger: 911 what is your emergency?

You: heeey

Stranger: 911 what is your emergency?

Stranger: We received a call of someone getting stuck in your toilet?

Stranger: May I get more details please?

You: well, i shopped my dick of cutting some vegs... n now i can´t get it out of my toilet!

You: where is the world heading?

Stranger: Sir, are your testicles untouched?

You: certainly since they have not yet dropped

Stranger: LOL OMFG THAT'S HILARIOUS!

Stranger: XD

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

 
You: Hey

Stranger: hey ;]

You: wink

Stranger: blink. (wink x2)

You: are you from Canada

You: do you say colored pencil or pencil crayon?

Stranger: well...depends.

Stranger: where is it going?

You: lol wut?!

Stranger: wink wink (blink)

Stranger: but seriously. i say colored pencilian untensil.

You: ni**er

Stranger: chink.

You: beaner

Stranger: cracker

Stranger: HAH. i win foo

You: I can't think of anything else

Stranger: yeah me too

Stranger: you like instand noodles?

You: do you mean instant?

Stranger: yeah. haha.

You: Not really

Stranger: why? ...why?.......why.?

You: I don't know.

You: Herpes

Stranger: sorry, incurable. i can help with lice tho. if thats what your into.

You: experience?

Stranger: yeah. dont you remember?

You: genital warts

Stranger: yeah they burn.

You: yellowish green discharge with a rank odor

Stranger: okay this is gross.

 
I just saw the pedo bear one and copied it. So funny.

Stranger: Listen are you a girl please tell me because i need advice about relationships?

You: Yea I know all about little girls

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_░▓▓▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▓▓▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒ ▒▒▒▒ ▒▒▒▒▒▒▓__▒▒▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▒▒▒▒▒▒▓

_▓▓▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▓▓▓▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒ ▒▒▒▒ ▒▒▒▒▒▒▓_____▒▓▓▓▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▓▓

░▓▓▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒ ▒▒▒▒▒ ▒▒▒▒▒▓▓___░▓▓▓▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▓▓░

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Your conversational partner has disconnected.

 
i just had a horrible conversation. This kid from the gaza strip was being deprived of food and sleep, he lives in a one room house and he is he can't leave the country no matter what or else he will get shot. His dream is to be captured by the israels and put in jail with his family where he can sleep and eat and use a bathroom. He shares 3 bathrooms with 100,000 men. He weighs 37 KG. I am so devistated and don't know what to make of it. I really just want to help him so bad. The thing is if i do anything about it i can be killed too. They work so hard to keep this information away from the US government so we don't go and liberate those who are suffering.

I feel so horrible. Absolutly
 
Stranger: hey

You: ___________________░▒▓▓▓▓▒░_______________________ _________________________________

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Stranger: my hobbies

Stranger: what the hell is that?

You: what does it look like

Stranger: a bear

You: yup

Stranger: why do you spam my screen with this lovable bear?

You: so it can be loved

Stranger: my sister really likes him

Stranger: she says he is cute. but i do not agree

You: hahaa

You: NS

 
Connecting to server...You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!A word of advice: "asl" is boring. Please find something more interesting to talk about!Stranger: heyyyyYou: Do you like dick in your assStranger: yes I doYou: That's no good cause I do too and we can't both give it to each other up the ass at the same time.Stranger: haha that's niceYou: Buuuuuuuuuut. I have to ask you a serious question.Stranger: go aheadYou: Can I tap dat?Stranger: yeah you canYou: Thanks. I have to warn you though, I have a TITC.Stranger: titc?You: TEN INCH THROBBING COCK MUTHAFUKA!!!!Stranger: ohhh. That's hot!You: Sooooooo can you handle it? I must warn you, I've killed with it beforeStranger: Hell yeah I can handle it. I'm up for the riskYou: Ya ok. You need to sign a release form. Letting me f u up the ass is more dangerous than letting asians drive.You: THEY TELL YOU DON'T YOU EVER COME AROUND HEREYou: DON'T WANT TO SEE YOUR FACE YOU BETTER DISAPPEARStranger: I want to come there so you can cum in my assYou: THE FIRE'S IN THEIR EYES AND THEIR WORDS ARE REALLY CLEAR SOOOOOOOOOOYou: BEAT IT. JUST BEAT ME OFF YEAAAAHHHHH!Your conversational partner has disconnected.
 
You: hiStranger: YoStranger: Hello strangeYou: im bakedStranger: tan?You: nahStranger: how so?You: im stonedStranger: ah, spliff?You: gravity bongStranger: sounds....niceYou: yeahYou: how are youStranger: well actually waiting for my nights treat to kick inYou: what is your night's treat?Stranger: valiumYou: yoYou: you're pretty fucked up arent you?Stranger: not at allYou: it just seemsStranger: im really not impressed by that thingYou: that calling valium your 'nights treat' isYou: justYou: weirdStranger: what else should i call it?Stranger: my medication?You: wellYou: i meanStranger: that would be wrongYou: wellYou: i just wishYou: that you didnt call it that okay, stranger?Stranger: Ok thenYou: kYou: lets brainstormStranger: may i ask why though?You: what shall we call itYou: okayYou: let me explainYou: nights treat is the thing you look forward toYou: kYou: but if what you look forward to is valiumYou: then you're looking forwardYou: to basicallyYou: unconsciousnessStranger: Hold up there buddyboyYou: okayStranger: have you ever tried it?You: alasYou: i have notStranger: well in that caseStranger: im happy to inform you that valium doesnt knock me outYou: well played, sirStranger: ma'amStranger: and thank youYou: waitYou: i think we might be soulmatesStranger: really?You: yesStranger: keep talkingYou: how do you feel about this?You: you firstYou: k fineYou: me firstYou: its the vibes that do it for meYou: coming out of the computer screenStranger: ah, the vibesYou: yeah, you getting that too?Stranger: but of course i amYou: a mutual feeling!Stranger: you're rightStranger: we're soulmatesYou: this is insaneYou: wellYou: lets do soulmate stuffStranger: LET'S BREEDYou: YEAHYou: WHERE??Stranger: from the couch to the counters of my kitchenYou: i must warn youYou: i am getting quite excitedStranger: oh it's mutualYou: god you're amazingStranger: why thank youYou: how is this happening?Stranger: you're quite smashing tooStranger: i dunno baby, lord works in misterious waysYou: he sure doesYou: can we get married?You: i want to do thatYou: for a lil whileStranger: We can do thatStranger: Now, proposeYou: how?Stranger: just say something lovey doveyYou: kYou: here goesYou: want to get married and stuff?Stranger: fair enough, a rough diamond, but yesStranger: i doYou: umStranger: hmmStranger: now what?You: wellYou: i regret to sayYou: that i must soon leaveYou: and we will never know each otherYou: goodbye my love

i was pretty damn blasted last night haha some of the stuff i said just doesnt make any sense, like the brainstorm thing lol
 
I'm starting every chat with

newschoolers?

and if not, i send the bear.

Stranger: hi asl?

You: newschoolers?

Stranger: nnnnnoooooooooooooooooo]

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Your conversational partner has disconnected.

 
Stranger: hello

You: [Omegle is legally obligated to inform you that the person you have connected with is a convicted sex offender]

You: hi

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

 
You: newschoolers?

Stranger: whats up?

Stranger: no

You: pastes pic of the bear and deletes it here to save space

Stranger: not in school anymore

Stranger: A BEARRRRRR

Stranger: i love bears!!~

You: it's gonna eat your snowboarder ass

 
this is my first

Connecting to server...

Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

A word of advice: "asl" is boring. Please find something more interesting to talk about!

Stranger: Hi Im a 18yo male looking for some female company :)

You: okai

Stranger: Are you a female? ;)

You: i am 16, is that okay?

Stranger: Well. arnt you a little young :)

You: some people like it that way

Stranger: I guess.. :) well I just want to talk to a girl :)

You: about what?

Stranger: Everything, like... where are you from? Its more fun talking to a girl then a boy, cause they are all trying to be cool and everything

You: i'm from Alberta. where are you from?

Stranger: Where is alberta located ? Im from Sweden :)

You: western canada

Stranger: Cool :)

You: do you like swedish fish?

Stranger: Yes I do :) do you?

You: yah they get my dick hard

Stranger: lol sounds awesome!'

 
i thought this was kinda good too:

Connecting to server...

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

A word of advice: "asl" is boring. Please find something more interesting to talk about!

Stranger: poo

Stranger: on you

Stranger: in a zoo

Stranger: hullaballoo!

Stranger: choo choo.

You: with a kazoo

Stranger: in the loo!

You: so whats new

Stranger: toodle doo

You: owl says hoo

Stranger: cow says moo!

You: our sentances are few

Stranger: but they rhyme too!

You: i don't have a clue

Stranger: I might have to sue!

You: you son of a bitch!

Stranger: :P

You have disconnected.

 
This one's fucking great.

You: Why my son?Stranger: im a girlYou: Tits or GTFOStranger: fuck uYou: Please doStranger: nastyStranger: how old r u?You: You know you want to.You: Ask your motherStranger: im 14 u nasty son of a bitch!You: Same.Stranger: haha where r u from?You: Washington.Stranger: im from ohioYou: You know what that means, don't you?Stranger: no wut/Stranger: ?You: That we should fuck.Stranger: hahah wut do u look like?You: A sexy beast. I'm pretty much rippedYou: Are you hot?Stranger: black or white/You: I'm a white niggaYou: What about you? How big are your tits?Stranger: somewhere between a's b's and c'sYou: You know, I'd like my penis between A's B's and C's.Stranger: ur grossYou: You too.Stranger: hhaStranger: haha*You: BahahaStranger: ur weird but so am iYou: So seriously. Boobie pics or leaveStranger: no camera sorryYou: Oh. Fly to washington.Stranger: no thanks i hate planes never been on them and never willStranger: hey chat with me on iddin.comYou: How do you hate them if you've never been on one? The bathrooms make for some very interesting sex.Stranger: im still a vYou: Loser. I swiped my card in yo moms vag last nite. BAM!Stranger: haha. if u chat with me on iddin.com u can c my picYou: what the hell is that? A porn site or something?Stranger: no its like omegleYou: What's the difference?Stranger: on here u cant c ppls pics and on there u canStranger: just plz if u get on dnt put ur dick as ur pic cuz theres little babys with meYou: You're fucked up. Bye.
 
Stranger: want to use me as your sex slave?

You: are you a guy or girl?

Stranger: why does it matter

You: because i don't wanna bang a guy everyday

Stranger: i am a girl

You: ill let you be my sex slave

Stranger: where do u want me then?

You: on my dick

Stranger: oh please let me sit on your face first

sit on my face? wtf???.

 
Connecting to server...

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

A word of advice: "asl" is boring. Please find something more interesting to talk about!

You: a wild interwebz appears

Stranger: Interball, GO!

You: INTERWEBZ DOGED

You: INTERWEBZ USED RICK ROLL

Stranger: I CAST FLARE!

You: NOES

You: NOT TEH FLARE

Stranger: NOW - SEARCH FOR HIDDEN TRAPS!

You: SEARCHING

You: INTERWEBZ FOUND POP-UP TRAP

You: popup exited

You: OH NOES

You: TRAP WENT OFF

You: try facebook for sex

You: (exit

You: 0

Stranger: Fail?

You: MAKE YOUR DICK BIGER

You: (exit)

Stranger: NOES!

You: FUCKKKK

You: NOT THE INTERWEBS

You: its the arch nemesis of the INTERWEBZ

You: so...many...pop-ups

You: QUICK

You: USE YOU POP UP BLOCKER BALL

Stranger: POP UP BLOCKER BALL, GO!

You: INTERWEBS HAS BEEN VANQUISHED

You: HOORAHHHH

Stranger: I BEAT THE INTERWEBZ!

You: NO YOU EAT THE INTERWEBS

You: INTERWEBZ IS STILL HERE

You: INTERWEBZ GOT AWAY

you have disconnected

it tok so long to get someone to go along with it

 
Stranger: m/f?

You: hermaphrodite

Stranger: wat?

You: oh ya

Stranger: weirdo

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

 
Stranger: Howdy

Stranger: i'm from the south

You: hey male or female?

Stranger: both

You: newschoolers?

Stranger: totally

Stranger: poop

You: whats your NS name

Stranger: Mickey

Stranger: Mouse

Stranger: what the fetus is NS?

 
i dont no what they were looking for

You: hiStranger: heyyyYou: wasupStranger: not muchhYou: im eatingYou: baconYou: m/fStranger: fYou: mYou: age?Stranger: 19You: lol 14
 
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