Your Funniest / Oddest Injury

Lemuel

Lemuel

Active member
Bored at work, was thinking about some shtuff.

Last summer I broke my pinky toe..... fishing. Yup that's right. I was up in the front of the boat and I had to hop back to the engine real quick to move the boat, the floor was wet, my foot slipped right into the corner of the seat going ~mach 35. Imagine stubbing your pinky toe on a coffee table or something, but never ending pain and your toe sticking out to the side. Those 2 toes made a 90 degree angle.

Share your stupid injury!
 
I broke my ankle, and here's the story.

I was at baseball practice, and this had been after a day that a bunch of douches had been ranting on about my SMALL japanese descent. (I'm 1/10 Japanese, 8/10 Italian, 1/10 Irish. I don't even look remotely Japanese). It was really pissing me off.

We were doing a drill catching fly balls. As one was hit to me, one of the douches yelled "Go back to Hirakawa motherfucker!" I caught the ball and threw it in, then approached the guy that yelled. It. Before I could say anything, one of his friends, who just happens to be the biggest guy on the team, leveled me from behind. My leg got caught under him and it snapped my tibia along the growth plate in my ankle. Ended my season, and ruined half my summer.
 
I pretty much made the exact same thread a while back but it had some quality stories. I broke my collar bone in varsity soccer warm ups doing a bicycle kick. One of my prouder moments..
 
Twice (once druing gym class and once in a baseball game) I was running and stepped in a sprinkler hole. My right knee hyper extended and dislocated both times. Ruined 2 summers in a row
 
broken thumb from trying to climb around a table ...

it was a bet, i was drunk, i fell, i tried again and made it :)

next day my thumb hurts like fuck and is all swollen, go to doctor, he makes x-rays, yep, fractured ! :D
 
Oh and also brok the same finger 3 times, once from catching a nerf football, once from catching a baseball, and then falling off the couch when i was sleeping
 
Broke my arm back in 6th grade trying a front flip on a mountain bike.

kid followed me too close during night skiing i slowed down and buttered the knuckle his ski kicked my bottom lip and pierced through and knocked out three of my teeth. 14 stitches and 3 root canals
 
Nothing too serious but i have a scar on my hand from my days as a meat cutter at a grocery store. the funny thing is that i didnt get the cut from a knife as you would expect; i was reaching for a hair net in the little cabinet thing and scraped my hand on some random piece of metal. next thing i know my hand is bleeding like crazy and now theres a scar
 
sorry about the double post but the only thing i can remember right now Is when i was like six i was at my grandmas house (they live on a farm) and if i remember correctly i was planting potato plants with my mom and we were using rakes (not the same rakes you use to rake leaves) to sorta till the soil i guess. But i about a week before that i stepped on a plastic toy hoe my friend had and it came up and the handle hit me in the forehead. So i thought that the same thing would happen with this metal, real, spiked rake thing. I started walking towards it and i can remember my mom saying "Walk around, don't step on that" (It was lying on the ground with the spiked end sticking up) so me being a stupid 6 year old, i completely disregarded what she said, step right on the rake expecting the handle to hit me in the forehead. But it didnt.... It didnt even move. The Spikes went right through my sandles and through my feet. It was gross. I Also remember that i screamed so loud these joggers that passed us a solid 10 minutes before this all happened came sprinting back to see what happened. So i got rushed to the ER and had to wear this weird cast thing on my foot for like 3 weeks. It was like a soft cast... and i couldnt walk, i had to crawl everywhere and be carried up the stairs by my parents.
 
I broke my pinky finger trying to catch a football in gym a while ago. Then I broke my thumbs skiing about 2 weeks later and when I was getting my xrays done the nurse was amazed that my finger was healing so quickly but she was looking at the wrong thing.
 
i was walking backwards for some reason around a lunch table in high school and tripped over one of my friends bags, ended up gettin a broken foot, my coach for soccer told me to play to played in the game that day,woke up with a purple foot the next morning.
 
Last day of school two summers ago, I thought it was a good idea to ride down a paved hill in a shopping cart. I went in the cart with my friend and near the bottom of the hill, we hit a pothole. Needless to say it didn't end well. My friend got away unscathed while I broke my arm for the second time that year.
 
We were hanging out in the locker room before a football game.

All of the players shit in the JV locker room before games, so the varsity one doesn't get all stanky.

I was racing my buddy to the JV bathroom, because, who wants to shit after another dude? And we get to the door at the same time.

A small scuffle ensued; he pushed me into the broken up tile wall. The corner of this wall is really sharp, like a knife. The wall cut a big gash in the top of my wrist.

I got it all stitched up by the trainer, after it finally stopped bleeding, and now I have a scar on the top of my wrist.

That was the worst football injury of my career.
 
Broken wrist doing a kick turn at Woodward 3 days into my session. It killed my tailbone too. Hella bummer
 
Brokey wrist extreme pogo sticking a year ago. Got distracted by the neighbours dog pretty high up, fell on my wrist. Crappy summer, but I got to explain to everyone how it happened.
 
I broke my wrist popping wheelies on my buddies little sisters electric scooter. If that isn't badass then I don't know what is
 
In my early 20's I was living in Illinois and met a bartender (Chad) who was originally from Baltimore, MD. He used to always tell tales of how he used to bar tend at this club in Inner Harbor, Baltimore, and how he won best bartender year after year blah blah blah. Supposedly this club was the shit...it's where all of the pro athletes, the who's who, etc. would go to party and he was fuckin king shit at the place. Partied with this person and that person blah blah blah. Dude was an awesome bartender and we became pretty good friends over the course of my alcoholism, but I kind of always chalked his stories up as exaggerated semi-bullshit. Hey, whatever, doesn't really hurt me any...or so I thought.

Fast forward a year or two and I'm living in Philly. My roommate and I decide to head down to Inner Harbor to gorge ourselves on fresh sea food and then go get wrecked at some of the bars/clubs near the harbor. After hearing all of Chad's stories, we obviously decide to go check out the bar I'd heard so much about. We get there and the place is definitely dope. No doubt that it's a fucking hot spot. Whether or not he was king shit, I figured I'd never know....

We decided that the place was definitely worth our time and money, so we go to the bar to order drinks. Bartender cards us, sees my Illinois ID, and says, "Oh you're from Chicago? (If you live in IL, you're automatically from Chicago as far as anyone on the east coast is concerned.) Do you know Chad who used to work here?" Now I'm immediately blown the fuck away. Never in a million years did I expect that to happen. I proceed to tell him, "Yeah, Chad's my fuckin' boy from back home. He's the reason we came to check this place out." Bartender tells me, "That's awesome. How's he doing? Blah blah blah. Whatever you guys want is on the house tonight."

Game on. This is at the peak of my alcoholism and if drinking were a sport, I'd be the god damn MVP. I don't know how much we drank, but I guarantee it was several hundred dollars worth of red bull vodkas and jager bombs. After four hours of non-stopped abuse of my liver not only are we fucking destroyed, but we're also all cracked out on red bull. Unfortunately, it's closing time for the bars.

Considering we're all cracked out on rbv, going back to the hotel sounded like a pretty lame idea. Time to call Chad. Apparently he wasn't just bullshittin me this whole time, so maybe he knows what's up with the after hours parties. Call him up and he gives us the name of a spot to go check out. We catch a cab and tell him where we want to go. The only problem is the fucking cabbie can't find the place. He pulls over to ask a hooker for directions. Next thing I know, she's hopping in the front seat of the cab as the cabbie tells us that she's going to show us where it's at. Cool. Whatever. Just get us to the fucking party.

We drive around for a little bit, but still no luck. This bitch starts talking about "Y'all owe me some money. Y'all gonna hafta pay me." WOAH. HOLD THE FUCKING PHONES. I'm not paying you shit. He's (cabbie) the one who told you to get in, and then I proceeded to tell her what I thought of her choices in life and what she was doing for a living standing on a corner. Apparently the truth hurts...the both of us. I'm sitting behind the driver and she's in the passenger seat. Next thing i know, the bitch turns around and shanks me in my right brow/eyelid.

The cabbie slams on his breaks and she hops out of the car. My 6 ft 3, 265 pound roommate hops out of the car to grab the whore. She starts yelling, "Help they rapin me" to a group of brothas on the corner. My roommate can obviously see how this is going to turn out so he hops back in the cab. Cabbie is telling us to get out so my buddy grabs him by the neck and tells him to fucking drive....take us to the hospital. I tell him that I'm fine and let's just go back to the hotel. He looks at me and says, "Dude, I can see your eyeball through your eyelid. We're going to the fucking hospital." Ok. Fine.

12 hours later and I'm all stitched up at the University hospital....vision unaffected. And that's how I got stabbed in the eye by a hooker.

 
Well I was at Chads Gap, I was trying a switch 9, but knuckles and broke both my ankles. Claimed it then got took to the hospital.
 
When I was 2 my brother and I had a plastic box filled with dried beans to play with, one day I stuck my head into it and got a bean stuck I in my left nostril. To get this removed I had to go to the emergency room and get it surgically removed.
 
When I was 14 I broke my arm snowboarding on a golf course in Utah. I was doing a butter 180 and caught my heelside edge. Arm out and boom, broken radius.

 
n00b

Everyone knows that if you have to push by yourself to compression start you do it from the driver's door.
 
happened last weekend. I was trampolining when something went wrong, i dont remember what cuz i hit my head too but i ended up going through the trampoline net and onto the ground. I later went to the ER and found out thsat i broke my collar bone, it sucks cuz now im out for a good month and cant trampoline or ski at all.
 
full sprint into the the plexiglass wall. luckily my face took all of the impact.

broken nose, jaw, bits of my chin got chipped off. knocked out both of my front teeth. was knocked out for a bit, dont remember it at all.

had to have reconstructive surgery to put my nose back in the center of my face. my jaw dislocates every time i try and open it wide and the arthritis is already setting in.

but on a positive both my front teeth dont have nerves so i can hold ice cubes to em and it doesnt hurt
 
holy shit.

When I was 3 I got a metal baseball bat to the mouth when I was standing behind my brother and he didn't see me. Also in 5th grade I was standing behind my brother and he picked up a cinder block and when to put it behind him and put it on my foot-breaking my toe...I should probably stop standing behind my brother...
 
it was playing indoor soccer. like 5 minutes into the first game of the season. i was so focused on the ball i forgot that the field had walls.
 
Im playing pick up football in 5th grade and i twist my ankle, i figure whatever not that bad and go to my friends house limping. Then from his house i hobbled a quarter mile down a steep ass hill to his firends house where we shoot around for an hour. When i get home my ankle is as big as a baseball and it turns out i stress fractured it.
 
i wish i did but i think id have a hard time watching it. my friends said the sound of my face breaking was pretty disheartening.

 
I was at Snowbird in the beginning of April (It wasn't my choice of where to go, shut up) and I'm skiing along the right side of trail, just inside the trees. The trail, to my left, keeps going down while where I'm at, it's still pretty much level. The trail ends up turning right so I'm heading straight for it. It looks like a small, 3/4-vertical drop, with snow. As I near the "drop" I begin to slow down, but still too fast to stop. I lean forward to look and I just remember a rock instead of snow. So I drop 10-ish so feet onto a slightly-backwards slope. The problem is, I didn't know it was there, so my legs were too loose and I land on my tailbone and hairline-fracture or severely bruise it. Ruined my trip and I couldn't sit down for a few days. It still hurt three weeks after, depending on how I moved.

 
I broke my nose at the first party I ever went to I wasn't drinking but this dude who was punched me and it broke I had to go the hospital and make up a story how I fell . Thank god I wasn't drinking
 
Broke my nose under rotating a gainer off the sun deck of a ski boat a couple weeks ago. So cool.
 
when i was a kid i felt ont the side of the bathtub with my teeth, one of my fronttooth became black and i was a pirate for like 1 year... fucking awesome, would do it again
 
Haha, it was definitely an interesting night. I had to wear an eye patch for like a month after that, and it was right around halloween, so a pirate costume was quite fitting that year.
 
In march a 360ed off a cattrack and the landing was really bumpy. i fell on the landing and my ski pole stuck in the ground. Then my ski pole went all the way through my lip and broke my tooth in half. got 12 stitches, a root canal, rebuilt tooth and bloody gear. The worst part was that i payed 60 for a lift ticket and i only got half a run in ;(
 
I cut through both tendons in my thumb trying to cut a fork out of a piece of wood. Needed surgery and a few months of physical therapy.
 
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