ilikeplants
Active member
Fuck. I just lost the game.
You Know You're Drunk When
- Thread starter ThaLorax
- Start date
line1260skier
Active member
I also lost the game.
i had good one but forgot, fuck.
i had good one but forgot, fuck.
low_fidelity
Active member
when you wake up with a dick in your ear?
4frntfisherman
Member
when you begin eating coffee grounds out of the can because you have to sober up quick and drive home.
when you climb a tree and proceed to tell friends you've converted to squirrel and are looking for a mate... then yell at every girl who walks under the tree that they should climb up and make squirrel love with you.
when the last thing you remember is hitting the double beer bong by yourself cause everyone else was "a fuckin pussy" wake up in a parked boat covered in magic marker penises.
when you honestly believe eating fire is easy... fire is attached to a log.
you wake up and ask your friends how you got home and they remind you of how you cussed them for trying to drive drunk and proceeded to drive them home.
when you pass out naked mid-snowangel.
when you fall on the floor and can't get up, everything that comes out of your mouth is jibberish, and the only thing you can really do is flip off everyone that steps over you.
upon arriving at the 7th bar order two shots of the cheapest tequila they have. drink one then smash the other on the brick wall and yell at the bar for "not fucking paying attention" then pass out in a booth. wake up and sprint for bathroom ten minutes later. pass out again.
when you get black out drunk the night before high school graduation then climb on top of your school and break skylights out of the gym. then get arrested, thrown in jail, and miss your graduation.
pass out on ground while camping. someone yells cops and you get up and stumble in the woods. cops find you with night vision and drag you back handcuffed within a minute. celebrate high score on breathalyser, tell the cops you won't sit cause you won't be able to stand up again. get put in the K9 unit and yell at the dog for barking then pass out on the ground again after you've been cited.
when gravity wins...
when you climb a tree and proceed to tell friends you've converted to squirrel and are looking for a mate... then yell at every girl who walks under the tree that they should climb up and make squirrel love with you.
when the last thing you remember is hitting the double beer bong by yourself cause everyone else was "a fuckin pussy" wake up in a parked boat covered in magic marker penises.
when you honestly believe eating fire is easy... fire is attached to a log.
you wake up and ask your friends how you got home and they remind you of how you cussed them for trying to drive drunk and proceeded to drive them home.
when you pass out naked mid-snowangel.
when you fall on the floor and can't get up, everything that comes out of your mouth is jibberish, and the only thing you can really do is flip off everyone that steps over you.
upon arriving at the 7th bar order two shots of the cheapest tequila they have. drink one then smash the other on the brick wall and yell at the bar for "not fucking paying attention" then pass out in a booth. wake up and sprint for bathroom ten minutes later. pass out again.
when you get black out drunk the night before high school graduation then climb on top of your school and break skylights out of the gym. then get arrested, thrown in jail, and miss your graduation.
pass out on ground while camping. someone yells cops and you get up and stumble in the woods. cops find you with night vision and drag you back handcuffed within a minute. celebrate high score on breathalyser, tell the cops you won't sit cause you won't be able to stand up again. get put in the K9 unit and yell at the dog for barking then pass out on the ground again after you've been cited.
when gravity wins...
4frntfisherman
Member
no it's canned.
You know you're drunk when your girlfriend hands you her thong during the party and you uncontrollably start laughing .
Changethattape
Active member
When you go to pee and forget to pull your pants down...
Changethattape
Active member
You would be dead. Or you threwup SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO much.grats on being alive though
*Fujative*
Active member
when you try to sleep and you close your eye and the room just spins like crazy, open them and the room stops. close them and you feel like you are going to fall of the couch.
notomatoplz
Active member
my thoughts exactly also when you ask a female cop to come back to your place for a hottub
armadapandemic89
Member
(happened to a friend and true story)
-when you are literally pants-shitting drunk lying next to a naked girl and poop in the bed after she passes out. You freak out and write on a post-it note "you pooped, i left" and then post it to her forehead and run home.
-when you are literally pants-shitting drunk lying next to a naked girl and poop in the bed after she passes out. You freak out and write on a post-it note "you pooped, i left" and then post it to her forehead and run home.
JQ89
Member
when you go to the bathroom and pass out with the door locked and despite being called at least 20 times by your cousin whos dorm room youre staying at you sleep through it and only wake up when they poke you with a hanger from underneath the door, meanwhile they need to piss in the shower because youre in the only bathroom and you wake up in the morning still drunk on the couch and dont remember any of this.
When you walk a mile and a half through a snow storm in a tshirt because you forgot where you put your jacket.
When you wake up and dont remember how you got home and find vomit in more than 3 locations.
When you come home and think scrambled eggs and spaghetti sauce on toast is the greatest meal ever.
When you start hitting on your boss while in a las vegas strip club.
When you make your cab driver drive through del taco and buy him food.
When you think riding the bull at Saddleranch in a dress is a good idea.
When you wake up on the floor with your face on your laptop and the screen is inverted and you somehow beat an expert level of soduko.
When you start throwing electronics off the roof of a 3 story building.
When you make pancakes for over 15 people that you dont know at 4 am cause it is the only thing in the entire kitchen.
When you wake up in a hotel in Malibu not remembering how you got there and then your friend finding a receipt that says $600.
I'm not an alcoholic.
When you wake up and dont remember how you got home and find vomit in more than 3 locations.
When you come home and think scrambled eggs and spaghetti sauce on toast is the greatest meal ever.
When you start hitting on your boss while in a las vegas strip club.
When you make your cab driver drive through del taco and buy him food.
When you think riding the bull at Saddleranch in a dress is a good idea.
When you wake up on the floor with your face on your laptop and the screen is inverted and you somehow beat an expert level of soduko.
When you start throwing electronics off the roof of a 3 story building.
When you make pancakes for over 15 people that you dont know at 4 am cause it is the only thing in the entire kitchen.
When you wake up in a hotel in Malibu not remembering how you got there and then your friend finding a receipt that says $600.
I'm not an alcoholic.
- you wake up with cell phones in your pocket that aren't yours.
- off a freshly healed (or healing) collarbone, you re-brake it in a wresting match with a girl.
- you have a wrestling match with a girl.
- the next afternoon (morning), you see the girls you chilled with the night before, and they giggle.
- you stroke legs. ? ? ?
- off a freshly healed (or healing) collarbone, you re-brake it in a wresting match with a girl.
- you have a wrestling match with a girl.
- the next afternoon (morning), you see the girls you chilled with the night before, and they giggle.
- you stroke legs. ? ? ?
defcutskier
Member
when average looking girls are getting hotter whit every bottle.
marinejonny19
Member
you know your drunk when....
You mistake the bathtub for the toilet and throw up in while it is plugged so the puke jus sits in it. then your fiance wakes you up and you call her a fucking dumb cunt slut because you dont know whats going on and dont remember puking. (marine corps birthday ball)
when you say fuck cups and start double fisting pitchers of beer (again marine corps birthday ball)
when you are 6'0'' and only 180lbs and you try to box a NY state golden glove winning boxer who is HUGE! he hits you once and you throw up on him
when you pass out in a parking garage in the downtown city and have your wallet watch and hat stolen and wake up at 5am to a cop poking you with his baton, dont remember what you say to the cop but then remember him driving off and just thinking "Damn I'M cold I wish he didnt wake me up"
when you wake up in a random apartment call your cousin who you were with last night ask where she left you and her response is "WTF I'm not even in NY im in Florida"
when you ask your buddy for keys to his car which is parked in the parking lot. he asks why and you say cus you are tired and want to sleep and wait for everyone else to be ready to leave, but really you take a girl out to his car that you just met and fuck her in his drivers seat. then kick her out cus you really are drunk and tired.
when a cops puts his hand on your shoulder while your back is turned to him and the first thing you do is turn around and punch him in the face. then you get tasered and wake up in the drunk tank not knowing how you got there.
You mistake the bathtub for the toilet and throw up in while it is plugged so the puke jus sits in it. then your fiance wakes you up and you call her a fucking dumb cunt slut because you dont know whats going on and dont remember puking. (marine corps birthday ball)
when you say fuck cups and start double fisting pitchers of beer (again marine corps birthday ball)
when you are 6'0'' and only 180lbs and you try to box a NY state golden glove winning boxer who is HUGE! he hits you once and you throw up on him
when you pass out in a parking garage in the downtown city and have your wallet watch and hat stolen and wake up at 5am to a cop poking you with his baton, dont remember what you say to the cop but then remember him driving off and just thinking "Damn I'M cold I wish he didnt wake me up"
when you wake up in a random apartment call your cousin who you were with last night ask where she left you and her response is "WTF I'm not even in NY im in Florida"
when you ask your buddy for keys to his car which is parked in the parking lot. he asks why and you say cus you are tired and want to sleep and wait for everyone else to be ready to leave, but really you take a girl out to his car that you just met and fuck her in his drivers seat. then kick her out cus you really are drunk and tired.
when a cops puts his hand on your shoulder while your back is turned to him and the first thing you do is turn around and punch him in the face. then you get tasered and wake up in the drunk tank not knowing how you got there.
mind_Riot39
Member
when drunk people aren't annoying anymore.
ISkiSwitch
Active member
- your face starts to feel numb
- you tell your friends to tackle you
- you fall just because you can
- you tell your friends to tackle you
- you fall just because you can
EastCoastPowBird
Member
When you play drunk football on an elementary school soccer field and when you get the ball you cant seem to run fast enough to get away from everyone trying to tackle you