Worst thing that has been said to you during/after sex

[StickDonkey]

Lately I've had some good ones. The last time I slept with this girl she says "that was fast" and last night she says "can we finish in the morning" this girl needs to make up her mind!

 

[coling]

Already!??

 

[UncleGerry]

"Stop! STOP!!!"

 

[StickDonkey]

Hahahaha

 

[JAHBRADOR]

Im like Ron Jeremy in the sack. Bitches dont know whats hit them.

Seriously, they all get aids.

 

[hippy.]

/threads for when i get married and fuck my bitch because i signed that virgin card or whatever in grade school

 

[goodnoooo]

i sometimes high five guys after sex. i like to keep things casual

 

[coling]

If you high fived me after sex i would never speak to you again

 

[StickDonkey]

One time this girl gave me head and when she finished she said "what if faked swallowing and then kissed you and just spit it in your mouth"

 

[JAHBRADOR]

Ive seen your instagram, have secks with me.

 

[taylornicky]

Things were getting heated, and he was kissing my neck. Him: "Do you like it when I do that?"

Me: "Yeah…" Like who asks that when you're just kissing a neck.

Him: "That's weird that most girls like that. That's what Anna really used to like."

Anna is his ex girlfriend.

 

[JAHBRADOR]

I'm still not over her ok.

 

[goodnoooo]

will you upset if i high 5 you after secks?

 

[lIllI]

I'm Leslie Stall.

 

[theBearJew]

Took a girls virginity, she said

"That's it?"

I replied, "It will be better next time"

 

[JAHBRADOR]

Not at all. I think it would be great.

 

[Sharknuts.]

First time for me

Girl: "I didn't expect you to be this big."

Me: Trying to figure out if compliment or....

Still don't know

 

[goodnoooo]

k, see u soon boo

 

[JAHBRADOR]

4th post in this thread. no fucks given.

Kinda role reversal of this thread but whatever.

What I said to my gf after i lost my virginity. 'Well, that was worth the 7 month wait". When i say "after" i mean right after.

High school was a difficult time for me.

 

[JAHBRADOR]

kk bb.

 

[snowfinder]

knock on the window. Cop "Love birds pull your pants up and step outside of the vehicle."

 

[Dr.Dickless]

"I think I'm pregnant"

 

[corona]

virgin alert

 

[jfxphoto]

you're my kinda girl

"tell anyone and youre dead"

 

[yuck]

yeah i hear girls can feel that happen like, RIGHT away

right in the egg, a little wriggling feeling.

 

[goodnoooo]

oh boy

 

[Blake.P]

Her: I sometimes have a problem getting emotionally attached to guys I have sex with

Me: -_____-

 

[coling]

Thats because semen has chemicals in it that makes a girl happy and strongly attached to you

 

[Aidan-G]

Especially if it's on their face

 

[HitTheJim]

We didn't have sex but I got head from a crazy bitch and she said some pretty fucked up shit.My favorite one was probably:

Her- Maybe we could like be friends with benefits type thing, yknow like we can hang out and hook up and then buy each other christmas presents and stuff

Me- Yeah I don't know if I'm looking for that sort of thing right now..

 

[Aidan-G]

That one's on you. You don't ask if it's big.That's just begging for something bad

 

[Byron_tha_gr8]

me getting ready for round three

she says "this one better be over fast"

 

[GayWolf420]

Did you let him bust in your butt at least?

 

[first_rodeo]

Girl:

get me a towel so i can wipe it off and don't need to change my bedding

after meeting this girl randomly at the mall, talking, getting a bite and closing

right there i knew i was not going to lay on her cum soaked sheets

 

[goodnoooo]

"while you are down there can you tie my shoe?"

 

[SlimDunkin.]

*Me fucking really cute, but really crazy chick*

*Stops me*

Her: Wanna get a little crazy?

Me: What'd you have in mind?

*Sticks thumb in butt*

 

[Aidan-G]

"I have a penis"

 

[Byron_tha_gr8]

i think my throat is bleeding

 

[chacha33]

That'll do pig, that'll do

 

[Aidan-G]

That's bad to say? I've definitely said that on many occasions

 

[catsRjerks]

Last night... Did you take the potatoes off the stove

 

[Weeezy]

*shits all over parent bed*

 

[Mag]

Who are you and what are you doing in my bed

 

[deleted5]

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[theabortionator]

My dad just got home

 

[alex=]

"are you sure this is your first time? you lasted a bit too long"

my addiction to masturbation has paid dividends

 

[ohmyglob8]

"sam thats the wrong hole! SAM! THE OTHER HOLE!!!"

needless to say it got ugly after that.

 

[shocker611]

her: "you better stay the night if I do this"

Cum all over her/her bed, then start to get dressed to leave.

her: "what the hell are you leaving?"

me: "I'M NOT SLEEPING IN MY OWN CUM!!"

not exactly my proudest moment, but it was my first weekend at college so whatever.

 

[shocker611]

Also have you ever had a girl cry during/after sex? Now that is awkward

 

[RockNRollNghtClb]

best post ive read

 

[chacha33]

Didn't say it was bad. Pretty sure I was conceived seconds before that line was first used