Worst sex exsperiences thread!

Two Stories. 1st about my friend and the 2nd about me.

#1. My buddy and his girl were dating for about 8 months or so and she tied him up to a bed, gettin a little kinky. She started blowing him and finished him off. She went to get the rope off and couldnt and ended up using scissors to cut the rope. She ended up cutting his finger in the process, small cut but still an open wound. He didnt think anything of it and proceeded to go down on her and fingered her while he was down there. He ended up getting an infection through his small cut and lost his finger! Such a funny fucking story to lose a finger over.

#2. This actually happened last night. I broke up with my girlfiend about, 3 months ago, now were slowly gettin back together and fuckin around and shit. She took me out on a date last night, went to damons restaurant, then went to this place called the ledges. We hiked around and found this cave called "Ice Box Cave". Its pretty sweet. Its ALWAYS cold even when its rediculously hot everywhere else. So we go in, its pitch black, were hopping from stone to stone cause there is about four inches of water or so throughout it. So we go way back into the cave, pitch black, no one can see us. We start making out then ipso facto she goes down on me. Everything is going great until two fucking birds probably bats start flying right over our head. She freaks out and starts running out. Im scared too and try to run, but trip over my shorts that are around my ankles. Fall face first into the water. COMPLETELY soaked, cut on my cheek. Fuck. She felt terrible. Funny story though
 
Sooo i got some random girl up to bed after a party.... and i assumed it would just be a one night thing... she was hot and such... but a little to high matinace for me... but aside from t hat... we startted doing our thing.. and we started to pork... right after we started... she stopped for like a second looked me in the eye and asked "Do you care About me?" ....

i had no idea what to do... lol
 
I was cooking up some food and i was cutting up jalepenos, and the capsaisin (the shit thats spicy) reacts with mucus type fluids, so anyways, i guess i didnt wash my hands to well or something and me and my girlfriend were getting going after supper and she started to burn, not so bad for me cause i thought it was funny but shitty deal for her.
 
a friend of my girlfriend (a girl) once used a frozen sausage as a dildo, it worked fine until it started to defrost and broke off in her snizzel, she had to go see a doctor to get the broken piece out...
 
ok heres a gross one lol. snuck in to my girls house. messed around for a bit then i threw my fingers up there. we never turned the lights on cause i was bein all sneaky you kno. left a little bit later and went to my car and packed a dipper. went to bed thinking i had a good night. The next morning i woke up to find my 2 fingers were red. this may have happened to some of you but i doubt u packed a lip right after lol. Gross and awful i know...at least i wasnt eatin poon
 
was hammered hooking up with some girl i met a few hours earlier in my dorm room, afterwards walked her back to her dorm, came back to keep drinking and my buddy stopped me to ask why i was bleeding. confused, i asked him what he was talking about when he pointed at my hand, and then told me to look at the front of my shorts

fml
 
ahhhhh and the n packed a lipperrr im sorry ): but i had a few like that in my room...lets just say i keep a tide to go pen in the dresser
 
parents were out of town for the weekend a while back. was having a pretty hard rager and took a girl to the showers. things got pretty wild. i slipped and we both went through the shower curtain broke it in a few pieces and i pretty much body slammed her into the ground....errrr that turned out pretty bad.
 
ha happens to my girlfriend too. just normal thing

the first time it happened i laughed so hard. she punched me in the shoulder and i felt bad

i try not to laugh now and jsut keep going but its too funny sometimes. i dont find it gross, just kinda funny

anyways, gf and i decided to have a quicke in the car before i had to take her to work in like 20 minutes.

we drive to the back of a grocery store and park next to the recycling center. we take our pants off and start doing the dirty when some car pulls up next to us. i put my pants on and grab some cans and a bottle out of my car to take to the recycling thing. the whole time the guy in the other car is staring into mine.

as i get out he starts telling me how nice my jeep was. ha. he wanted to talk for like 10 minutes but i told him i had to go. we pulled away and she jumped back in the front seat.
 
hrm i never thought of this. but in between relationships, i did manage a rebound and i think it ruined casual sex outside relationships for me. although...anywayshe was nice, he was ok looking, until we had sex, and he would do this moany body quivering thing and it was so unattractive...i wanna yarf thinking about it. my slutty friend gave him a bj one day,i don't know why, she feels the need to mark my territory or something, and she said the same he did the same thing.one regret in life...that lay.
 
This happened to a guy I know a couple weeks ago: So my friend had a bday party - nothing special. Anyway, my friend wakes up real early in the morning and goes upstairs and sees a guy and a girl talking outside on the front porch. Everybody's still really drunk, and my friend goes out and asks what's goin' on and the girl says that she had a little accident. So my friend says, "Well, at least you didn't piss or throw up or something." She replies, "I peed," and says she has to go to the bathroom and goes inside. So my friend asks the other guy what the fuck happened and he said that he had passed out on the couch and woke up to this chick playin whith his dick, and eventually they started goin at it. She says she's gonna cum, but instead pisses all over him and my friends couch. They don't use that couch anymore.
 
At a grill party that one of my friend's were hosting, i started making out with this girl that i've been with before. As things starts heating up, we decide to re-locate to a less crowded area. We start fucking and she's riding me, and slowly her vag start queefing and allright, she's wet that's fine. But as she gets of to change position i notice that my crotch and the 1/3 bottom part of my blue shirt is all covered in blood. Wtf, she denies having a period and I start checking my johnson, but it's all good. We decide to go inside and shower to get rid of the blood, and she tells me to finger her since she's apparently not bleeding anymore, but as I pull the finger out it's all bloody, and she finally admits having period. Fuck

The next day, my friend and I went directly to a re-uniun party hosted by a girl from my old boarding school, with free food and booze. Accidently I turned my plate over my shirt, so i had to change. I went outside the tent to pick up a new one, and since the blue shirt from the last night was all bloody, I made sure to pick another one.

So it's all good, party's on and everyone get shit-faced and I hook up with this good looking red-head and we end up on the couch and she gives me head, but she, surprisingly, had a period too, so wouldnt fuck.

The next morning i woke up wearing my blue shirt, and i'm like wtf - had I changed shirt once more or what? Later that day i watch pictures from the party, and apparently I had changed to my period shirt and ran around in it all night not knowing. Luckily, no one knew that the the blood belonged to a lying bitch, and apparently the red-head had no problem giving head with her forehead simultaneously bashing into a shirt covered with another girls filthy period blood.
 
i had sex with a ginger girl she was dusty as fuck. i was on no alcohol or drugs. i was just straight up horny.

epic fail for me
 
Sneaky ex-girlfriend took advantage of me on 4th of July and I ended up doing the dirty in my goods friends parents bedroom.

Long story short she came home and my friends grad party got canceled (because I topped off a list of ridiculous things that happened to him that month).

GOD DAMN DEVIL WOMEN AND RELAX RIESLING!!!!!

 
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