Worst Sex Experience????

So im 15 getting head in my room when i hear the doorbell ring. My first thought was o shit its my mom so i go to check. I bust on the way there. Turned out to be just the mailman. Fuck
 
Took my old girlfriends virginity... was half way in when...... brother walked in...... she screamed..... loud.
 
all this semester at school:
1. it was the first friday night and everyone started drinking at like 5:30, resulting in everyone being to shitty to do anything latenight. Anyways, i wooed some girl into going back to her room. as i was about to start fucking her, she goes hesitates and says "i dont think youll be able to fit." trying to get that nut, i convinced her otherwise. i then tried to bang her like a hammer, while she laid there like a dead body, and after ten mins she wanted to stop. turns out I swiped her v-card and she was rattled for the next few months.
2. i made the mistake of leaving with some swamp-donkey, going back to her room, and having my dick scarred up like it was going through a cheese grater. she kept gagging, stopping and starting, while i was in pain. i told her to stop and i bounced. Problem was my cross/necklace fell off while i was in her bed, so i had to go back and get it, when she pulled me back into bed and tried it all over again, which was again an epic fail.
3. i nailed some girl 3 weeks before school was out, and then, for the first and second time in my life, i got whiskey dick the next two weekends before school got out.
i have some others, good and bad, but those were the worst feeling ones out of all of them. hope you enjoyed them
 
hahaha since when has not knowing a girl stopped a man from getting some.. i dont even know the name of the chick i lost my virginity to haha
 
Not trying to be an ass but you sound like a chick. No I can't have sex, I want my first time to be special! As for meaningful sex. Are you talking about feelings and stuff, or a good fuck?
 
calling somebody a virgin on the internet. i can see the meaningful sex has matured you beyond everyone else in this thread.
 
my friend made a visit to the doctors. he told the doctor that he had been partying alot and hooked up with a chick and wanted to bet tested. he told him that they were both drunk and didnt use a condom. so the doctor gives him the test and everything comes back clean. so fast forward 5 or 6 months. he had been seeing the chick he hooked up with at the party since they met. so they go to the parents to do the whole meet and greet thing. well, turns out the girl was his doctors step daughter. they had difernt last names and he never really put two together when she said her step father was a doctor.
 
first time i had sex, my girlfriend wasnt on the pill, so we were hella worried about her getting pregnant. one of us (probably me) had the brilliant idea that if i put it in her butt, problem would be solved.
longstoryshort: poop juice.
(^^worse than period sex any day of the fucking week btw)
 
oh i remembered a great one... so when i just turned sixteen, me and my girlfriend thought is would be sexy to have sex on a beach in the snow... really bad idea, i am pretty sure my pecker froze in her a few times...
 
not possible, if you've ever been in a vagina, you'd know it is warm enough to keep your wangchung comfortable in any weather. Its like a fuckin mitten.
 
HAHAHA, it's cold as BALLS by the ocean in the winter, why would any man want to bone a girl in that environment?
 
practice makes perfect. that is how people learn to pour whole glasses of beer down their throats without swallowing. so learn not to gag duh.
 
In all seriousness I'm going to have to agree on this. I used to be thankful for sluts but I banged this one girl (she was really cool but kind of a slut) last year and I meet her at a bar this year and she told me that over the summer she lost her job as a shot girl and had been giving foot jobs for money. I really find some gems..........

 
Yeah but that kid was talking about losing his vcard. You don't decide to fuck a girl your first time, then decide oh well she might be a slut, and decide not too.

Even trolls are fair game at that point. And if she was mildly attractive but a hoe? so what, that's perfect. Do the damn thing. When losing your vcard her being a slut is usually makes it easier, not the other way around.
 
Worst sex experience ?

Was backpacking alone in Asia, and at one point decided to go for a drink in deep down Phnom Penh, Cambodia. Met a few guys on my way to eat a pizza. And of course, since it's Cambodia, it's not the usual marguerita but one of the famous "happy pizza" that popped everywhere around the main street. Needless to say my mind was starting to get a bit fucked up due the multi beer/weed combo.

After that and a few agruments with some kids selling japanese written south-african guide books; we headed up to a girl/pool bar (not really a gogo bar, but not so far from it) . Not much happened there beside me getting more and more drunk. Played some pool with some of the girls, got completly destroyed btw.. But hei it's okay, they play all damn day.

Still got some last part of my head straight and I was able to say no to the (paying)sex harrasment that I was enduring for a good hour.

And there I should have got to my guesthouse....

So we paid 1$ or so to a mototaxi (1moto 4people) to get to the nearest club. And last thing I remember is entering the place and buying one bottle of rice vodka for my new buddies and I.

I woke up the next morning on the floor of a dirty 20m2 house in the outskirt of Phnom Penh with a local girl around me and the worst headache I've ever had. .. Annnnnnd we were butt naked.

So a tiny bit freaked out I get up, wake her up and stupidly asking her what the fuck happend in french... Hooray for me she didn't even speak english. Next thing I know (and thank god) one of the previous night's buddy came out of I don't know where quickly followed by an other local, as fucked up as I was and we started laughing like two dumb fuck.

Unlike myself, he did remember a few things and gave me some input. The girls we met in the 1st bar met us again in the club and conviced us (not so difficult I presume) to bring us back to their place. Classy.

On top of that we had to pay them something like 10$ each for them to stop screaming before we left.

And laaaaaast but not least, as you might point out, I had to wait 4 bloody week knowing I had unsafe sex with a Cambodian hooker before I got tested... Not the best time of my life.

..

.

BUT HELL OF A FUN NIGHT.

.
 
Thats fucking insane, really a story to tell forever. I'd love to go there, smoking straight khmer shit.
You didnt end up with anything nasty did you? Not that its really my business but damn, sounds super sketch
 
Two summersago I was at the beach. I was hooking up with this girl who was the worst kisser ever, so i figured lets try a blowjob. 2 minutes into that, her teeth were hurting me so i said lets fuck. 2 minutes into that she squirted. That was it, I bounced out of the room naked and walked back to mine and took a shower.

I told my 2 friends about the girl, and they went downstairs and double teamed her.
 
screw this thread for being so rediculously funny..

its always bad if the girls got a bush (only happened once thank god)
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top