Worst Names for Children

L

lurking

Active member
What does NS think is the worst name for a child. I'm thinking somewhere along the likes of Weiner or Twat.

Discuss
 
According to Maxim magazine....

1. Rutherford

2. Apple

3. Floyd (Unless you know for sure he's going to be a fighter.)

4. Kermit

5. Nevaeh (Yes, it's "Heaven" spelled backwards....which means your child is anti-heaven, a.k.a. Hell. So just call her Hell. "Hell" is a cool name.)

6. Cinnamon

7. Dabney

8. Optimus

9. Thor

10. Moses

11. Delano

12. Abner

13. Sandwich

14. Balki

15. Renesmee

16. P.P.

17. Legolas

18. Typhoid

19. Adolph

20. New Cher

21. Tonto

22. Glenn (Have you ever met a baby named Glenn? And yet there are adults named Glenn. What the hell?)

23. Spanky

24. Skrillex

25. Lt. Assblast

26. Soupy

27. Fitzgerald (Unless it's a girl, because then it's adorable.)

28. Ulysses

29. Whisper

28. Six

30. Truman

31. Mercedes Benz

32. Baby

33. Bigsby

34. Elton

35. Constance

36. Kawn-stanz!

37. Ochocinco

38. Filthy Jonas

39. LOL

40. Rib Eye

41. Jennni

42. Jeniy

43. Jen-E

44. Jennyb (silent B)

45. Cornelius

46. Ziggy

47. B.J.

48. Octopussy

49. Pinocchio

50. Jimminy

51. Hermione

52. Indiana (It only worked once, and only because he was Han Solo)

53. Han

54. Velcro

55. Ke$ha

55. Piers

56. Morgan

57. Piers Morgan

58. Sweet Pea

59. Sweat Pea

60. Anakin

61. Isthmus

62. Fidel

63. Danthew

64. Flo

65. Ebenezer

66. Precious (Name her "Push" instead.)

67. Kandy

68. Siobhan (Because no one will ever know how to spell or pronounce it, including your child until he/she turns 12.)

69. Swerve

70. DMX

71. Poppy

72. Ernestine

73. Cherry

74. Emilio

75. Hollis

76. Kel

77. Mickey Rourke

78. Mavis

79. VH1 Presents

80. Goose

81. Katniss

82. Finger

83. Pooter

84. Zoo

85. Baxter

86. Pancreas

87. Dances With Wolves

88. Duck-Duck-William

89. Colon

90. Sassafras

91. Beulah

92. Ralph (but make everyone pronounce it weird)

93. Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy

92. C.C.C.C.C.C.

93. Jazzy

94. Jazzer

95. Jazzest

96. Caspert

97. Pinky

98. Otho

99. Milo

100. The Walrus
 
There's a girl at my school that likes to be called Saphire. I have no idea what her real name is. Also, she broke a toilet by fucking some kid on it, so maybe a stripper name is appropriate for her...
 
Every year in The Netherlands a list is published with every name given to baby's in the previous year. Journalists dive in to try and find the worst offenders.

Highlights of last year in include a Chastitty (with that spelling) Heavenly-Presious-Fate and the fair share of designer brands such as Louis Vuitton and Gucci (Usually followed by 'Hope' or 'Precious').
 
12983439:Parrish said:
Andrew
Click to expand...

Forgot to give a legitimate reason. There are so many kids with this fucking name. Like weird names are bad, but I remember having the same name with like 3 other kids in like 3rd grade and it sucks. Any name that has a fuckton of them sucks.
 
12983456:Parrish said:
Forgot to give a legitimate reason. There are so many kids with this fucking name. Like weird names are bad, but I remember having the same name with like 3 other kids in like 3rd grade and it sucks. Any name that has a fuckton of them sucks.
Click to expand...

I had a cladd in HS with 5 other nicks. I shit you you not, 6 out of like 35 kids were named nick.
 
Very worst thing you could name your kid is Oops.

I think the last name plays a big part too.

Worst name of people I knew were:

Brothers Dick and Harry Ball.

Client was named Will Dickover and the name of his business was Dickover Enterprises.

Also, we used to make a list of funniest names we ran across. These were mutual fund investors where I used to work:

Been Chuan Wang

Kum Soon Kim
 
12983448:omnidata said:
Every year in The Netherlands a list is published with every name given to baby's in the previous year. Journalists dive in to try and find the worst offenders.

Highlights of last year in include a Chastitty (with that spelling) Heavenly-Presious-Fate and the fair share of designer brands such as Louis Vuitton and Gucci (Usually followed by 'Hope' or 'Precious').
Click to expand...

Good to see that there is a black population in the Netherlands as well.
 
I knew twins named Dayquil and Nyquil, also knew some brothers names Swain and Caswain. One time I taught a kid named Crockett to ski. Who the fuck names their 11 year old Crockett?
 
12983574:EatMySharts said:
I had a cladd in HS with 5 other nicks. I shit you you not, 6 out of like 35 kids were named nick.
Click to expand...

That has to be the most confusing shit. You can't even really give nicknames for nick i feel like, unless you start calling dudes by their last name.
 
Most of the new names given to children now are terrible. Everyone trying to be original and name their child something cool but almost always failing.

Purposely misspelled versions of normal names.
 
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