Witty Jokes

Ben_Mo-Fat

Ben_Mo-Fat

Member
Let's here them, we all have some dumb but clever jokes from the past: put them out there.

What did the fish say when he swam into the wall?

Damn!

What is the difference between a mole and a eagle?

They both live underground, except for the eagle!

 
My girlfriend invited me to her house. I found her sister alone in the house, she was unbelievably sexy and whispered in my ear, “I have feelings for you, shall we have sex?”, I immediately turned around and walked to the front door to go to my car. I found my girlfriend standing there, she hugged me and said: “You’ve won my trust”

- Moral of the story: always keep your condoms in the car
 
I don't really crack jokes, if I want to be funny, I generally go straight to making other people look like idiots. I can't pull off cracking jokes, but I have a really good demeaning voice. It's fun, try it.
 
You know what guys with big dicks eat for breakfast?

*hope that they say "no" or that they ask "what is it?"*

YEAH, I DIDN'T THINK YOU'D KNOW!!!!!
 
a guy asks his friend what a 'dilemma' is.so his friend tries to explain it using an example so he says:

Let's say through some turn of events you end up in a big bed and on your left side is this beautiful smokin hot chick and on your right side is a homosexual. Which one of the two are you going to turn your back towards ?

 
So I was out shopping for some new pillows and a comforter, i headed out to bed bath and beyond but everything was so expensive!, i guess down is up!

A dog walks into a bar and hes looking pretty low, he orders a whisky drink and the bar tender asks him whats wrong? the dog replies, aww nothin, my wife is just a bitch!

I went to the zoo the other day, they only had one dog... It was a shitzu (shit zoo)

why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the gay guys house.

Knock knock, who's there? the chicken!
 
a neutron walks into a bar and asks for a drink. when he goes to pay the bartender says "for you, no charge"

Somebody asks a proton for directions. When they ask him if he's sure he reply's "I'm positive"
 
Why did the boy fall of the swing?

Because he didnt have any arms.

Why couldnt the girl ride a bike?

Because she didnt have any legs.
 
i think there is already an anti-joke thread.

but if this is what it's turning into...

why did the jew cross the road?

because he was being persecuted by the nazis.
 
a logics professor walks into his classroom on the first day of class, as he looked around he noticed there wasnt a single boy in his class besides himself, only girls. "class this semester none of you have to come to class, all of you have already failed."
 
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