Wisdom Teeth and Constipation

Last time I was camping and I had to shit so bad and afterwords I was about to pull up my pants and I didn't see any of the turds on the ground and I realized I shit right back into my pants around my ankles and didn't notice. It was so shitty! (literally)

I'm desperately trying to figure out why kamikaze pilots wore helmets.'

 
im sorry for bringing this back, but all the little shits (haha) on this site need to see what NS used to be. this was the greatest thread ever

*******************

Formerly NOFXpunkAF

KPP represent

i just bought the PEs and im stoked

 
^^ that sucks.

__________________________________

smoke bud, it gets you high.

COC session E

'crowns are badass' - Itsbackfliptime.
 
greatest thread ever. dont be sorry for bringin it back, i shit myself laughin and this is the 20th time ive read it.

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

Ontario represent.
 
i didn't read it again, and i already have the giggles. if i read it again, i'd roll over laughing and make my parents think i need ridalin. so i'm not gonna do that right now.

___________________

- Ian

That's Mr. Bangor to you!

'I'm an accomplished, certified shitter.' - Jooky

'Thats called 'Stealingg' Money , its 'Illegal'.' - P-JO

'use your crutches as pole-vaulting-mechanisms and launch yourself into water' - rsd

'Detactive, it's TAP, not tax. You'd TAP that ass.' - Darksider17

RTGAHMKFNTWTKTAEPCBTWAACAKALH

N2S Media
 
ok that was about the funniest thing i've ever read on this site, whoever said that goes to the hall of fame we better start one right here and now

------------------------------------------------------------ I'm outta Fairfield, CT the home of apple pie, crack cocaine and the thigh master
 
i appreciate whoever brought this back becuase i needed to read something as funny as that. very quality, you could write a short story about your experiance

Not being able to speak is not the same as not speaking. You seem as if you like to talk. I like to let people talk who like to talk. It makes it easier to find out how full of shit they are.
 
yeah, good job, i think i remember reading this way back when, it was just that monumental

___________________

Silly Rabbits. Pink is for cheese! –stevexs2

you bettter still have my jagermeister shirt, or I'll fucking drive a train through your anus. – jibtech

numbers are for jewish investment bankers - sleezemcfly

Somedays I like it crunchy, other days I take it up the ass! - Lanemeyers
 
greatest thread ever.

----------------------

The only way to prevent rape is to say yes.

'. . . thou shalt eat the herb of the field ' (Genesis 3:18)

'. . . eat every herb of the land ' (Exodus 10:12)

'Better is a dinner of herb where love is, than a stalled ox and hatred therewith' (Proverbs 15:17)

“He Causeth the Grass to Grow for the Cattle, and Herb for the Service of Man” (Psalm 104:14)

 
first time i read this one. amazing. just simply amazing. deserves to be published

'The online store is now online'

-4FRNT Website
 
yeah, alpentaliks shit stories need to be published as a series

___________________

Silly Rabbits. Pink is for cheese! –stevexs2

you bettter still have my jagermeister shirt, or I'll fucking drive a train through your anus. – jibtech

numbers are for jewish investment bankers - sleezemcfly

Somedays I like it crunchy, other days I take it up the ass! - Lanemeyers

i had a pet rat that had one...it peed blood and then died - alpentalik
 
i know everyone has said it but OH MY GOD funniest thing i have ever read i swear on my life i pray my penis to you alpentalik that is the best thing ever especially when you described it hahahahah jesus christ that is amazingly funny wow you should be awarded a medal of honer fo going through that hell

holy shit i just had an image of dumb and dumber hahahahahahaha i would of givin my big toe to see your face hahaha oh my god i will laugh forever seriously 10 minutes later and i am still giggiling like a wild hoar hahahahaha wow

-------------------

excuse me flow,

whats the soup de jour?

it's the soup of the day.

ummm that sounds good, i'll have that.

dark helmet : if there is one thing i despise it's a fair fight
 
these are teh fuck'n awsomest stories. Alptenic is a poop god! more funny stories!

a conversation between two skiers:

skier 1 ' have you seen those new skis with the tips in the front and back yet'

skier 2 'no but I heard about those things'

Skier 1 ' yeah I don't see why they would want tips in the back...maybe they are try'n to copy those stupid snowboarders or something like that'

skier 2 'Yeah seems like kind of a stupid idea.'

ski-unit
 
This has been bumped like 5 times. haha. Funny as shit tho.

'Today i took a bus back home from town and this guy comes to sit next to me and he was so on pills or whatever.. anyways he pulls up a bag of pills and asks me do i want to get wasted and im like 'no thanks'.. so he looks a bit mad and puts the bag away, next he pulls up a box of chocolate-chip cookies and asks: Do ya atleast wanna have a fucking cookie' ' -Pekkis

.:NSS
 
sweet jesus thats funny shit

_________________________________

line skis- because skiing needs a future

'Two weeks pass and not a stool in sight. By now, I have to go real fucking bad, but the kids won't jump in the pool. I can't even sit down like a normal person; uncomfortable as a ass virgin in prison' - alpentalik

 
i think he needs like some sort of crazy fucking shit award man.. just never stops fuckin given'r

Smoking pot leads to uhh... I forget.

50 nuts in your mothafuckin' mouth

What's with all the hate?

 
damn i love reading these. You know you have talent when you can turn a story about taking a shit into a real piece of literature. that made me laugh so hard, my stomach is hurting right now.

'hey look guys! For a dollar you can get a free condom!'

- a friend when she saw the condom dispenser in the bathroom

'We could give him milk after filling his epipen with heroin and turn him into a drug addict'

- a guy thinking of ways to get revenge on someone who is deathly allergic to milk
 
mines is too but thats because i ate a quart of raisins 2 hours ago...my ass has been off the wall since then

~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-

'You can't argue with idiots, they drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience.'

'so basically i lost my penis trying to have sex with my cat' Misty7

I like my eggs like i like my runs,poached

'Who's not 18 yet? What? LA LA LA LA LA LA! I can't hear you.'~Jay aka rebel

'five0 is a crazy sexy nutcracker motherfucker'~Everyone
 
^thank you for sharing that, it was fascinating

'hey look guys! For a dollar you can get a free condom!'

- a friend when she saw the condom dispenser in the bathroom

'We could give him milk after filling his epipen with heroin and turn him into a drug addict'

- a guy thinking of ways to get revenge on someone who is deathly allergic to milk
 
anytime...*fart*...here i go again...

~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-

'You can't argue with idiots, they drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience.'

'so basically i lost my penis trying to have sex with my cat' Misty7

I like my eggs like i like my runs,poached

'Who's not 18 yet? What? LA LA LA LA LA LA! I can't hear you.'~Jay aka rebel

'five0 is a crazy sexy nutcracker motherfucker'~Everyone
 
i'll be waiting on the edge of my seat for an update

'hey look guys! For a dollar you can get a free condom!'

- a friend when she saw the condom dispenser in the bathroom

'We could give him milk after filling his epipen with heroin and turn him into a drug addict'

- a guy thinking of ways to get revenge on someone who is deathly allergic to milk
 
Haha, I remember reading this a couple months ago in school. All the kids in the class kept looking over at my computer because I couldn't stop laughing.

 
hey dude, seriously funny, but it wasn't the penicillan that got you constipated. it was the codeine. codiene is an amphetamine and that is one of the greatest side effects of amphetamines....any of you cokeheads out there will likely end up with a story like this too....codiene= ass plug

 
hahahahahhahahahahahhahaahahaha, funniest thing i have read in a looooong time. i was laughing histerically while drinking a mountain dew and i proceeded to choke on it so then i was just laughing and choaking and caughing, fun times hehe

-Tamara luvs skiing!

___________________________________________________________

-ski for life- Just say fuck it and huck it!

~pain is weakness leaving the body~

Newschoolers.com, often imitated, never duplicated.-GhostDragon

''I think i just shat myself...no, wait, that's just snow in my pants...''
 
jeeze guys, i just had to bring it back, i felt it my duty, considering i was laughing so much, even if everyone has already read it, READ IT AGAIN!!!!

go listen to some emo. those whiny guys feel your pain. -linemaverick5...

 
i just shat lime green

~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-

'You can't argue with idiots, they drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience.'

'so basically i lost my penis trying to have sex with my cat' Misty7

'Who's not 18 yet? What? LA LA LA LA LA LA! I can't hear you.'~Jay aka rebel

 
number 1 sotry on Newschoolers

-Tom

'oh but i'm so drunk. so happily have you independence day. woo.' - asac
 
i was in a car accident went to the hospital for 7 nights, then got heavily druged, morphine, dilodid, precasets EVERYTHING 16 insane painkillers a day. i didnt take a poop for 18 days it was absolutely rediculous. but thanks to me not eating for 2 weeks when i pooped it wasnt that bad.

EvERyThinG LeADs tO TODaY

 
^ i remember hearing about that, you turned out alright i guess?

~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-

'You can't argue with idiots, they drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience.'

'so basically i lost my penis trying to have sex with my cat' Misty7

'Who's not 18 yet? What? LA LA LA LA LA LA! I can't hear you.'~Jay aka rebel

 
thats some funny.............shit

-------------------

òÄɧñ

PÜþlî© ÉÑémîʧ ²
 
i read this the first time it came out. funny stuff

'kind of like semen covered breasts???'

-lateralis regarding two small hills covered in snow.

 
when i broke my hip, they gave me all this shit too take in the hospital, so the same things happend. couldnt shit. long story short after 7 days i start taken laxitvies, prune juice alot of pruince juice and i took an enema and ...........nothing. i spend hrs apon hrs on the protable toilet tryin to get shit out. by the 9th day i took another enema and well lets just say that u couldnt fit a pin in the protable shitter. filled to the brim with poop. that was one of my most proudest accomplishments of my life.

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

ya, i know, mommy and daddy got me a cell hpone, but it was for safety reasons while driving the lexus they bought me.
 
soo gross but sooo funny

B-U-M-P

-Tammy skis

___________________________________________________________

-ski for life- Just say fuck it and huck it!

~pain is weakness leaving the body~

Newschoolers.com, often imitated, never duplicated.-GhostDragon

''I think i just shat myself...no, wait, that's just snow in my pants...''

Girls don't fart or burp... they're supposed to smell nice and look pretty all the time.-kamikaze
 
just thought I'd bring this back for those of you that havent yet revelled in alpentalik's genius

`-=`-=`-=`-=`-=`-=`-=`-=`-=`-=`-=`-=`-=`-=`-=`

'haha he told his parents ahbout his ginormous cock.... what a fag' - linemaverick540

'I wonder why haters tend to be idiots?' J.D._May

 
bump

-Tamara

___________________________________________________________

-rock the steeze foo- .:ski or die:.

~pain is weakness leaving the body~

Newschoolers.com, often imitated, never duplicated.-GhostDragon

i love the chronic... skis -1080ryebread
 
r u serious, this thread is over 2 years old

*NORTHEAST CULT*

^is dead

quagmire:'We got to do something.'

peter:'Dont worry i got an idea, an idea so smart my head would explode if i even began to know what I am talking about.

 
Bizzump

________________________________________________________

Chris

Have a JIBARITO!

Guitaring for life

Suicide is your way of telling God, 'You can't fire me, I quit.'
 
hahaha I remember this

I almost broke my penis once, i fell down my gfs stairs naked and with a boner, i was never so scared in my life - Lateralis

I have nothing, I dont save anything from ns, i have mostly porn on my comp tho- Lateralis

If I was a fat black chick, id live in a zoo- Lateralis

Hi, My name is Matt and I'm a postaholic

 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top